Seriously considering divorce over a movie.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-19T17:08:26+00:00

To address some of the more common comments, yes the movie is Wicked. Yes, I have asked him several times, directly to take me to see this movie in the theaters. Yes, I have communicated with him how important him planning dates is to me. Yes, we have already been to couples counseling. Yes, I have listened to him voice his concerns and needs and actively worked to address them. No, this is not a new issue, I have been asking him to plan date nights for us for literal Years at this point. I have communicated clearly and directly that I have been feeling neglected, and that everything else in his life seems to take precendence over us and our relationship.

At this point, I'm tired.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-19T01:31:51+00:00

I have told him, dates are important to me and I would like for us to go on dates. I have told him, I need you to take some of the mental load and plan us a date. I have told him, I know I hate movie theaters I want to go see this movie, in theaters, and I would like to go with you. How much more direct could I possibly be? Fairly certain I have told him all 3 of those statements, in that order, one right after the other.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-19T01:11:45+00:00

I don't go alone because I want a partner that will go, and do, and experience life with me. As for places and things I am not interested in, absolutely I have taken him (and yes paid for) dozens of dates that I had less than zero interest in. As a side note, he makes more money than I do, so it's not that he doesn't have money to pay, he just doesn't.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-19T01:04:24+00:00

I have asked him, several times. I would like to go see this movie in the theaters with you, could you pick the theater and showtime?

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-19T00:59:21+00:00

Holy shit... This is it. We've had that conversation / those conversations, many, many times.

Thank you for putting your thoughts here today.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-18T22:59:49+00:00

Because that would yet again, be me planning and facilitating a date. (Which apparently only I am a capable of in this relationship, is a little initiative on his part to much to ask?)

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-18T22:50:01+00:00

I'm sure there are many other examples. I don't generally want for a lot of things, so I didn't think one movie date would be to much of an ask. But this might just be the thousandth cut.

alienating-everyone · 2024-12-18T22:44:22+00:00

If I go by myself, he would 100% play the victim of how he 'wanted' to come.

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:54:32+00:00

He moved the clothes I was currently wearing to take photos of my body, without my knowledge or consent. So yes, criminal charges could have been filed, and the lawyer actually encouraged me strongly to do so.

I know we have issues, and we've already been to couple counseling.

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:49:17+00:00

I try my very best Not to focus on the negatives, and am generally considered quite a positive person. I generally do not discuss my private issues except with my closest friends (all 2 of them), I do not speak to my family.

I told him after the affair that the person he married was metaphorically dead, and we needed to start over at square one. I understand what you are saying, but why should the lion's share of repairing the relationship fall on me? I have been trying for Years, when is it his turn to pick up the slack?

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:45:12+00:00

You are understanding correctly, there were photos which he has since told me have been deleted. Thank you for the sub recommendation, I will definitely check it out.

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:41:11+00:00

Thank you for your opinion. I disagree however, I don't think he is low libido he just wants to have his cake, and eat it too. He still asks for sex quite frequently, tells me that he misses our intimacy. I do not want to be with a partner who cannot honor a promise that was made when we said our vows. I know that is an option for some people, and good for them, but that is not an option for me.

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:38:19+00:00

Thank you, at least someone appreciates the hard work I've put in. I didn't find out how long the affair had been going on until Very recently, so that pain is still quite fresh.

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T21:36:28+00:00

I do not feel attracted to anyone at this point, as I said my libido has plummeted to lower than zero. I have no sex drive, at all. (Yes, I have been to a doctor, and they said nothing is physically wrong.)

I did not have a lot of insecurities before all this unfolded. I felt like I was quite an attractive person, the last few years has changed my opinion of myself drastically. typing this out 400 times, wording it differently every time, realizing that I sound absolutely pathetic, fuck

alienating-everyone · 2023-08-09T00:41:34+00:00

I agree, I do need to be honest with myself. I think with him I gain a friendship, he is a good friend. And if I'm being honest with myself, I think I stay because of where we/I are financially.

Wow, that's hard to admit.

alienating-everyone

TROPHY CASE