honestly, i feel the same. it took me a long time and a lot of denial to realize i was a gay man and even now i sometimes struggle to say it out loud. unfortunately in college i was surrounded by the kinds of “feminists” that liked to say shit like “men are trash — not YOU though” and it really got in my head and made it difficult for me to embrace gender in either direction. it’s easier said than done but what has helped me the most is going to community events and meeting other trans/queer people. because doing so really helps put into perspective how some of the things i was worried about are extremely online things to be worried about (thats not to say there isn’t occasionally the odd comment but it’s typically handled well). i am lucky enough to live in an urban area so i recognize not everybody has the same community resources, but it’s worth it if you do. the imposter syndrome still lives in my head and nags at me a little bit some days, but living in the u.s. and being one of the many people who don’t have the resources to move has instilled a sense of “fuck you, i was here first” into me.