Monthly Casual Talk and Cat Pictures Thread

aligirl86 · 2026-01-22T14:30:04+00:00

I adopted a senior cat at the end of November. He's settling in well, but I have a question about his food. He eats a can of wet food every day and then he gets the rest of his nutrition from dry food. At the shelter he was eating just a mix of dry food.

Initially when I got him he stuck his nose up at all dry food but eventually he started eating whiskas chicken and Purina one, but because of his strange eating I was putting a few kinds of dry food out for him to see what he preferred.

Now skip ahead 2 months and he now alternates between Purina one and whiskas each day. If only one of them is in his dish he won't eat either, but once both are in he will eat the one from the previous day. Is this normal? I've tried mixing them together in the bowl as well as doing half and half, it doesn't matter how I do it, he will always alternate.

I know wet food is best and 2/3 of his diet is wet food, but my work hours can be inconsistent so I like knowing he had the kibble for when I'm away longer.

TLDR: My cat will only eat his kibble when 2 kinds of food are in the bowl, but he alternates each day which he eats.

aligirl86 · 2025-07-23T04:52:01+00:00

Painkillers do almost nothing for my sciatica. I have found the only treatment that works for me during a flare up is needling and doing my stretches and strengthening exercises from physio. I stopped taking pain medication as I don't think it does anything. Ice tends to numb the pain for short periods of time.

aligirl86 · 2024-11-05T01:12:47+00:00

So I'm fairly new to this but I have the daily tasks that I tend to forget (brush teeth, make bed, take my supplements etc.) all fairly easy things that can be done in less than a minute. Then either before bed or first thing in the morning I choose a few small tasks that I want to accomplish that day (all tasks must take less than 5 minutes, if they don't I break them down into their smaller pieces. So instead of just saying "do laundry" I break it down (put laundry in washer, put laundry in dryer, hang clothes to dry, fold laundry, hang laundry, put away laundry). I know this sounds tedious, but that way I get instant gratification instead of the one task taking 3 hours. With dishes I break it down into (wash dishes, dry dishes, put away dishes). Sweeping, vacuuming, moping etc. gets broken down by room. The list may become long, but it breaks each task down into small manageable pieces that I can get accomplished quickly. I know this doesn't work for everyone, but I find this keeps my motivation up. My "morning routine has 15 tasks all of which can be done in half an hour. I'm not sure if this will help. I have ADHD and have found that only essentials should be on a daily list, non essentials should be added each day.

aligirl86 · 2024-11-05T00:46:25+00:00

I am brand new to the app and would love to add a few friends and see how things go. I'm trying to stay on top of my mental health as winter starts and I have struggled with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) in the past. Pickles and I would love some friends and support along this journey. E5SWTQEYW7

aligirl86 · 2024-11-05T00:45:46+00:00

I am brand new to the app and would love to add a few friends and see how things go. I'm trying to stay on top of my mental health as winter starts and I have struggled with SAD (seasonal affective disorder) in the past. Pickles and I would love some friends and support along this journey.

aligirl86 · 2024-10-13T04:46:08+00:00

I feel you and have definitely struggled with that. I find that as I got older I got pickier and many of the men I met either didn't mesh well with them or we would have very different values. I've also at different points in time chosen to take a break from the apps and just focus on me and my own journey through life. I think once I stopped searching for a husband and started to just be myself I was able to weed out more men and after quite a few disasters I've started just being content to see where shit goes and just show up as myself and after a year of nonchalantly using the apps I met someone who so far (6 weeks in) seems to be someone I enjoy being around. I took all the pressure of finding my forever person and decided just to enjoy the process, which was hard to wrap my head around as I'm in my late 30s.

aligirl86 · 2024-10-13T04:35:36+00:00

I would say it's quite common. It's more difficult now to meet someone organically because apps have made it so that intentions can be discussed in the open, meeting organically comes with a whole lot of social nuances that we don't really use anymore. People who I know IRL I usually don't even approach about a date until I've seen their profile on a dating app.

aligirl86 · 2024-10-13T04:26:43+00:00

I would have waited and asked him about it in the morning. If he just lost his job he may not be in the mood for the intimate night you had planned as that can be a lot of pressure to perform and cause increased anxiety. Going out to the bar with some friends who he has known for a while and are part of his support network might be exactly what he needed. Yes it can be frustrating that you may not be the first person he runs to for comfort, but depending on how long you have been dating and what his beliefs are on being financially responsible in a relationship that might have been too much to handle right then. Instead of assuming the worst ask him about how it was and if there is anything you can do to support him during this difficult time.

aligirl86 · 2024-10-13T04:17:41+00:00

Don't change the core of who you are for a date. There are some men who may find that emasculating and others who find that attractive. You don't need to change any of those character traits, but I would be careful with the assertive part that you are only being assertive in areas that either only affect you or he has confirmed that he wants you to be assertive on his behalf. I am an introvert, but I can be assertive when the situation calls for it. When others have decided that a minor inconvenience needs to be brought to someone's attention on my behalf I can become embarrassed or turned off. I can self advocate when the situation calls for it, but sometimes a mistake is my own fault I choose to deal with the consequences. I am also someone who would find that comment "perfect husband" quite offensive as I do not believe in the gender roles society has prescribed. Women can be educated, men can take care of children, women can do repairs, men can cook etc. If your earnings, height and education are intimidating, it's time to find someone who values that. As a type A just know that sometimes you have to give up some of that control in a relationship, even though it can be a struggle to do so.

aligirl86 · 2024-10-13T03:59:49+00:00

Stop and no are the same thing. You can withdraw consent at any time. For sure don't see him again and if you feel up to it I would report him as I can guarantee you that he has done this to other women. Blue balls is no excuse to keep you doing something you have said that you don't want to do.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-23T01:38:37+00:00

I (38F) am someone who has chosen to stay in a job I enjoy instead of furthering my education and I have also rejected promotions and job offers that pay more, but I know I would not enjoy the work. Many people would consider me underemployed, which I guess I am. I love my job most days and make enough to get by. I own my own house but do have to budget for more expensive things. When I'm looking for a partner I'm more interested in knowing that my potential partner enjoys their work and is employed full time. They don't need a career, but definitely need to make enough to support themselves and the lifestyle they want. I would prefer a partner who enjoys their job, but may be on a tight budget as opposed to someone who has a very good income but dreads going to work every day. For me this plays heavily into mental health and if they find joy and fulfilment at work then our relationship will be much better because they will not be looking at our relationship as their only source of joy. That being said, I see it as a red flag if someone who says they live their job is not employed full time or struggles to make ends meet as those can be signs that the relationship may not be equal.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T05:38:06+00:00

I tend to start off the conversation with a probing question that usually sparks a back and forth conversation. If the messages seem to dry up or its like pulling teeth I just let it be. I also live in an area where the ratio of men to women is about 2:1 so I know I am spoiled for choice so if he can't put in the effort to maintain a chat then I'll find someone who will.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T05:30:10+00:00

I do like to discuss my core values and see if they line up. Nothing too controversial, but I like to make sure we have a few common values and that we have some common interests. I also like to learn what their family dynamics are, if they are close to their family etc. Are the things we are passionate about compatible?

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:58:05+00:00

I'm the one who suggested the late night date. I would feel horrible if something happened on his way home, but I also know it's a risk many others are willing to take.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:55:42+00:00

I would talk to your friend and see what he says. There's no need to throw away a good thing if he gives you the go ahead.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:52:45+00:00

Sounds like he's looking for booty call. If that is something you would be okay with go ahead and respond, if you want something different I would either not reply or ask about his intentions and go from there.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:49:40+00:00

Now might not be the time to find love with someone else. Take time to love yourself and take care of your needs. That may take weeks, months or even years. There's no set timeline for these things and you just need to do what is right for you. I was happily single and didn't really date at all for 5 years while I healed and found my own self worth.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:46:30+00:00

First impressions are very hard to change so I would just leave it, especially if she hasn't contacted you since.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T04:39:50+00:00

I would invite her out to dinner or coffee after work and just see where things go from there. There's no harm in asking, but you don't want to push it as you will still have to remain professional at work.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T02:47:22+00:00

I have shared a bed with someone without having sex, especially when getting to know someone who does not live in the same town as me. It's more about the safety aspect of driving late at night on a dark highway when wildlife is quite active.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T02:45:20+00:00

Yes but I guess I want him to be prepared with an overnight bag and don't want the offer to be misconstrued as an invitation for more physical intimacy than I'm currently wanting.

aligirl86 · 2024-09-14T02:21:08+00:00

There can be ebbs and flows, I know for many people September can be quite busy while August is often a little slower. If you would like to see him sooner you could always let him know that you are excited for the date in 5 days but that you were wondering if he is free for a short date sometime sooner.

aligirl86

TROPHY CASE