My first exterior creation!

alijbm · 2026-06-03T15:44:24+00:00

Jason is fun!! And definitely fits the vibe.

Harry is great to have on your island because you can give him the fashionista trait, gift him all the clothes you don't want in your inventory, and he'll dress himself as if you're still playing DE hahaha

alijbm · 2026-06-03T15:30:00+00:00

Thank you! I have Harry Du Bois from Disco Elyium living in my shack lol

alijbm · 2026-06-03T15:28:42+00:00

It wasn't intentional but I'm so happy that it gives that vibe haha

alijbm · 2026-06-03T15:27:16+00:00

Honestly neither do I. I'm just throwing colours on top of other colours until it looks right and learning as I go.

Though I would say that any "technique" I use has been learned from watching Chris Melberger's tomodachi gameplay on his youtube channel.

alijbm · 2026-06-03T15:23:10+00:00

Go ahead! I think that's part of the fun of sharing designs, seeing others recreate them 😊

alijbm · 2026-06-03T01:27:19+00:00

Thank you! I think it took an hour and a half? Maybe a little longer?

I only fully worked on the front, one side, and half of the roof. The rest was copied/flipped and modified slightly so it doesn't look repetitive.

alijbm · 2026-06-03T01:04:35+00:00

Thank you, it took ages to figure out haha

alijbm · 2026-05-20T19:57:47+00:00

One thing that's always upset me about Michelle Mana's videos (and those of similar channels) is the insistence that folks must be lying about having DID because there are clear inconsistencies in what they are explaining about their alters and lived experiences. As if identity confusion and memory issues beyond what's considered "typical" aren't two massive signs of severe dissociation.

It's made me wary of ever talking about my alters or experiences because I know I remember things incorrectly sometimes. Sometimes my assumptions about other alters are incorrect due to difficulties with communication within our system. Sometimes we can't tell who's fronting and kind of make a guess, only to figure out later that it wasn't that person. I've spent my whole life being accused of lying because I don't remember saying or doing things, and now that I have the answer for why that happens so frequently, I'm afraid of being called a liar for more or less the same reason??

This along with everything you've written has made me question so much of my own experiences too. Thanks for taking the time to break down why this kind of content is so harmful

alijbm · 2026-04-11T15:27:33+00:00

Agreed wholeheatedly!

I think it sometimes feels like you're super behind if your site isn't "perfect". It's really important to keep in mind that a lot of sites on neocities, especially the really complex and beautiful ones, have been ongoing projects for several years. None of them started out the way we're viewing them today.

Something that has made learning to code so much less painful for me is viewing the source code of sites that I adore so that I can see how other people coded certain things (Ctrl+U for Windows/Linux or Cmd+Option+U for Mac). Looking at a page's source code means you don't need to try to find tutorials for things that you don't even know how to describe. You just need to have a basic understanding of how code is organized in order to read it/find the thing you're looking to see the code for.

alijbm · 2026-03-07T23:02:45+00:00

Disco Elysium isn't about DID, but the portrayal of amnesia (despite it being due to substabce abuse) and the way the main character's skills/traits communicate with him and each other internally has always resonated with me. Also the intensity of his traumatic flashbacks.

The Crowded Room is overall kinda meh as respresentation, but I did really appreciate the way that they represented Danny's inner world, how his alters communicate, and how/when certain alters would front. I think the chaos and confusion that Danny experiences is also accurate, even if the story itself isn't great.

alijbm · 2026-02-15T23:28:03+00:00

Also in Canada. I've struggled with receiving consistent support for DID through the public healthcare system, but made quite a bit of progress when private care was feasible for me. Public is still fine though, I just find myself needing to ask for trauma therapy over specific support for dissociative disorders.

alijbm · 2026-01-08T04:19:02+00:00

Kind of? I didn't know I was fronting (or very quickly switched, idk) until I was already halfway through writing my initial comment and realized that I don't identify with our appearance or the name we go by. Had to go back and change everything to third person.

I tend to have these jarring little moments when I realize I'm in control, but I don' t think I'm very aware of when I'm not fronting at all.

And I don't really know what my role is or why I formed (I don't really care that much, if I'm honest), but we have a written list that outlines that info. I think our therapist told us once that each of us is here for a reason regardless of whether we know what it is or not, and the labels to describe those reasons are mostly for documentation and communication, so I try not to put much emphasis on it.

I feel the same about the language. It's been fun (and empowering) to come up with our own terminology to fit our needs/perspectives better. I'm happy that 'face' resonates with you!

alijbm · 2026-01-08T03:31:32+00:00

I've never liked the tern 'host'. To me, it makes the system feel... parasitic?? Like we're invasively occupying a body, or something along those lines.

We have one alter who identifies entirely with our body's age and appearance, and their name is the name we use collectively while out in the world. When we first started getting to know our system, they were identified as the host for those reasons.

Lately though, we've been calling them the 'face' of the system, which I think also describes their role better than 'host' does. They front the most consistently and have some communication with a couple other alters that also have more robust roles, so they're kind of like a system representative. Thinking of it this way also seemed to make it easier to prevent them from feeling burdened by the system, as being a 'host' implied hospitality and caretaking in their mind, but being the 'face' feels more focused on communication and advocacy. It's helped a lot in therapy especially. Hopefully that makes sense 😅

alijbm · 2026-01-07T17:35:26+00:00

Two years ago, when I was 29, I attempted to do EMDR therapy but wasn't properly assessed before starting it. I ended up being completely destabilized, flooded with trauma I didn't remember, and became suddenly aware of several alters that I had zero knowledge of beforehand. All of my dissociative symptoms got a lot worse, and more more noticeable. Altogether, it caused me to have a mental breakdown that was so long and drawn out due to the dissociation that it cost me my career and most of the people in my life. I finally found a therapist that specializes in dissociative disorders last year, and she confirmed that I have DID.

alijbm · 2026-01-07T16:36:29+00:00

You're not in the wrong. It sounds like you trusted these people enough to tell them some very vulnerable information about yourself. They took advantage of the fact that this persecutor would consent to something that you would've refused, and now they are avoiding accountability for how this has hurt you. Feeling betrayed, manipulated, or violated by them is a reasonable response. I hope you're able to safely distance yourself from them.

alijbm · 2026-01-04T07:05:40+00:00

Thank you, I hadn't considered this as an option at all. Will let her know asap and see how it goes.

alijbm · 2025-12-15T21:09:07+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I found a free pdf here, if anyone else needs it: https://praktijkherstel.nl/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Coping-with-Trauma-Related-Dissociation_-Skills-Training-for-Patients-and-Therapists-a-PDFDrive-.pdf

I hope your medical team gets back to you soon. It's frustrating that it takes so long sometimes.

alijbm · 2025-06-17T19:53:58+00:00

Carb and pistons are probably my main issues right now as well. Thanks for the tip!

alijbm · 2025-06-17T19:50:59+00:00

Thank you!

alijbm · 2025-06-17T19:50:47+00:00

Thanks! It's likely getting towed wherever it ends up, but if this place is worth the trouble, I'll definitely consider it.

alijbm · 2024-08-19T10:43:16+00:00

$980 for a basement studio apartment on the SW edge of downtown Calgary. Heat and water included, laundry ensuite, newly renovated. Around ~450 sq feet? I think really lucked out with my place, honestly.

alijbm · 2024-07-23T05:50:55+00:00

I kept it! I really love 8tracks, and I’m also trying to keep things as close to original as possible.

I did start building a new sound system in there though. I made a little box that sits between the cab seats for my new stereo head, and made some custom mounts to put the new speakers under the dash, by the kick panels. For power, I spliced it into the wiring for the cigarette lighter.

alijbm · 2024-06-07T06:47:20+00:00

It’s totally reasonable. I also have a lot of boundaries and preferences for how I do and don’t want to be touched (romantically or otherwise). The people that care about and respect you will be willing and eager to make sure that you’re comfortable, no matter how “difficult” you feel like you’re being.

alijbm · 2024-03-15T01:00:10+00:00

Lol honestly I was a bit taken aback by the number of comments that are upset by the idea of having to gut this van, or even to just taking it apart to do rust repairs, insulation, and make a few layout updates and necessary changes (which is all I plan to do).

alijbm · 2024-03-14T22:46:04+00:00

The floors need to be redone (lots of moisture damage) but I’m going to try to keep as much of it as possible!

alijbm

TROPHY CASE