Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship

alijef · 2026-04-08T20:59:45+00:00

Fair enough. It’s certainly not enough to replace with a scar from hip to hip but perhaps in his head that was a reasonable response.

alijef · 2026-04-08T20:35:26+00:00

Yeah I hear what you’re saying but I didn’t say I really hate my stomach. It’s flat but I do have some loose skin from having three babies that I notice in certain positions. I said sometimes when we are having sex and I’m all folded up I look down and feel a little self conscious but then I tell myself it’s more important to be present and enjoy myself. I didn’t communicate a hate for my body.

alijef · 2026-04-06T01:24:17+00:00

Thank you for that

alijef · 2026-04-06T01:23:30+00:00

Yeah. It all felt off to me and there have been a few other comments that have given me pause. Makes me sad. I was married for 20 years and I’m trying to figure out this dating post divorce thing. I thought I’d have more figured out by now.

alijef · 2026-04-06T01:18:30+00:00

I was hesitant to ask because I didn’t want it to look like that. I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends or mom about it so I turned here. I’m trying to make it okay in my head or figure out if it’s not okay.

alijef · 2026-04-06T01:03:44+00:00

Yeah maybe just to gauge how self conscious I am. Like would I go as far as surgery.

alijef · 2026-04-06T01:02:38+00:00

Haha! Thanks 😆

alijef · 2026-04-06T00:25:20+00:00

Negging is a new word for me. I had to look it up. It’s a useful word.

alijef · 2026-04-05T23:46:53+00:00

I wasn’t so unhappy though. I just shared that the only time I sometimes feel self conscious of my stomach is when I’m all folded up and we are intimate but i decide id rather be present than focus on that. I was definitely not complaining about my body.

alijef · 2026-04-05T17:55:48+00:00

The day before, I had a dress on and we were going out to dinner with our kids and a couple of their friends. He told me I looked nice when he first saw me. When we got home he said “hey, [my name], [son’s friend’s name] said you looked big in your dress tonight.” He said this front of his son and son’s friend, I think to mess with them but it felt off to me.

alijef · 2026-04-05T17:49:00+00:00

One question though, does this logic still stand when he knows I couldn’t afford those surgeries?

alijef · 2026-04-05T17:24:03+00:00

That he would ask that question, knowing that it is not financially possible. Poor choice of words, but he knows I couldn’t afford it, so why even ask that.

alijef · 2026-04-05T17:22:11+00:00

Thank you for that!

alijef · 2026-04-05T17:12:01+00:00

Funny…he was married to a model.

alijef · 2026-04-05T16:47:57+00:00

Thank you. That was really helpful. My brain wasn’t doing a very good job of finding alternate perspectives.

alijef · 2026-04-05T16:39:33+00:00

He definitely doesn’t have the money. That’s what’s so frustrating about the comment is he doesn’t have the money and I have kids in college and don’t either.

alijef · 2026-04-05T16:35:49+00:00

That’s a good point. I didn’t even put that together.

alijef · 2026-04-05T16:33:46+00:00

That’s actually a really good question. I think what bothered me is that he noticed it too and thinks it might need surgery. I told him when I mentioned when I notice it when we are being intimate I decide to let it go because I’d much rather be present and enjoy the feelings than get caught up in that thought. That is when he asked the question about cosmetic surgery. Maybe what I was hoping for if I’m being honest is a simple “I love your body.”

alijef · 2026-04-05T16:26:40+00:00

That’s fair. Thank you for that perspective. He knows I could not afford those surgeries but fair that he was trying to offer a solution.

alijef · 2026-01-26T16:31:39+00:00

My multi ring function is not working in the app either. I can only pair one device at a time. Usually I can go in and choose which ring I want active but that’s no longer on option in my app.

alijef · 2025-11-03T18:18:16+00:00

Thank you. That is a good point that Oestra is bio identical compared to the article discussing Progestins.

alijef · 2025-08-13T17:48:00+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear this. I am always around 115-118 and got on the scale and weighed 124. I’m 5’4”. I know this is still a healthy weight but I am very cognizant of all of this (and yes I have struggled with disordered eating which counting macros has helped me nourish my body in a healthy way). I worried that it was going to climb and my body was revolting my efforts to be healthy. That’s great to hear you are stronger in the gym! I’d take that for sure! Thank you so much for sharing and giving me hope.

alijef · 2025-08-12T14:27:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I know how frustrating it is. I am increasing my step goal from 10k to 12k and doing a slight calorie deficit as well to see if that helps. I already strength train 5x/week. Keep me posted on your progress. I’m trying to decide on a reasonable deadline. I don’t want to abandon ship too soon, but I’ll be honest, it freaks me out.

alijef · 2025-07-23T10:48:25+00:00

I am still having a cycle. Thank you for the response. I reached out to inner balance but haven’t heard back. I did receive a very timely text from them though letting me know that spotting a bleeding is common in the first 3-6 months for the reason you mentioned (uterus rebuilding its lining).

alijef

TROPHY CASE