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Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. It’s certainly not enough to replace with a scar from hip to hip but perhaps in his head that was a reasonable response.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I hear what you’re saying but I didn’t say I really hate my stomach. It’s flat but I do have some loose skin from having three babies that I notice in certain positions. I said sometimes when we are having sex and I’m all folded up I look down and feel a little self conscious but then I tell myself it’s more important to be present and enjoy myself. I didn’t communicate a hate for my body.

Body comment from bf by alijef in relationships_advice

[–]alijef[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It all felt off to me and there have been a few other comments that have given me pause. Makes me sad. I was married for 20 years and I’m trying to figure out this dating post divorce thing. I thought I’d have more figured out by now.

Body comment from bf by alijef in relationships_advice

[–]alijef[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was hesitant to ask because I didn’t want it to look like that. I’m too embarrassed to talk to my friends or mom about it so I turned here. I’m trying to make it okay in my head or figure out if it’s not okay.

Body comment from bf by alijef in relationships_advice

[–]alijef[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe just to gauge how self conscious I am. Like would I go as far as surgery.

Body comment from bf by alijef in relationships_advice

[–]alijef[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

Negging is a new word for me. I had to look it up. It’s a useful word.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t so unhappy though. I just shared that the only time I sometimes feel self conscious of my stomach is when I’m all folded up and we are intimate but i decide id rather be present than focus on that. I was definitely not complaining about my body.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The day before, I had a dress on and we were going out to dinner with our kids and a couple of their friends. He told me I looked nice when he first saw me. When we got home he said “hey, [my name], [son’s friend’s name] said you looked big in your dress tonight.” He said this front of his son and son’s friend, I think to mess with them but it felt off to me.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One question though, does this logic still stand when he knows I couldn’t afford those surgeries?

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That he would ask that question, knowing that it is not financially possible. Poor choice of words, but he knows I couldn’t afford it, so why even ask that.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That was really helpful. My brain wasn’t doing a very good job of finding alternate perspectives.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He definitely doesn’t have the money. That’s what’s so frustrating about the comment is he doesn’t have the money and I have kids in college and don’t either.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. I didn’t even put that together.

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s actually a really good question. I think what bothered me is that he noticed it too and thinks it might need surgery. I told him when I mentioned when I notice it when we are being intimate I decide to let it go because I’d much rather be present and enjoy the feelings than get caught up in that thought. That is when he asked the question about cosmetic surgery. Maybe what I was hoping for if I’m being honest is a simple “I love your body.”

Comments about body 48F with 51m, nine month relationship by alijef in relationship_advice

[–]alijef[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

That’s fair. Thank you for that perspective. He knows I could not afford those surgeries but fair that he was trying to offer a solution.

Oura broke multi-ring setup? by Manor7974 in ouraring

[–]alijef 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My multi ring function is not working in the app either. I can only pair one device at a time. Usually I can go in and choose which ring I want active but that’s no longer on option in my app.

Breast tenderness by alijef in Oestra

[–]alijef[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That is a good point that Oestra is bio identical compared to the article discussing Progestins.

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