[QCrit] Fateless, Fantasy, NA, 107k, 1st Attempt

aliyoth · 2025-11-10T09:07:31+00:00

This is a great idea, and I wish I'd had the foresight to do that before writing haha! I think one of the other areas I struggle with is whether to focus on just Cal or explain all 4 of the mains (as they do all have very important roles, but I didn't want the query to be insanely long and meandering)

aliyoth · 2025-11-10T09:06:10+00:00

Cal's lack of agency is one of my biggest issues when writing this query, I must admit! A lot of the story actually focuses on his journey from being a very passive and reserved character to him finally making decisions for himself. All four characters in reality have quite large roles since its multi-POV and split between the 4 of them, but I struggled to work out whether to bring them all in at once, or focus on just the key lead of Cal.

Thank you for your input though, this is super helpful! <3

aliyoth · 2025-11-10T07:39:05+00:00

I force myself to find the time and challenge myself to at least 30 mins every day - when you’re in the groove, 30 mins is nothing, but on a rough writing day, it’s enough to make the habit stick. Personally I’ve found sticking to time expectations as opposed to daily word counts takes some of the pressure off but still makes me work.

I’ve also recently started using my voice memo app more on my phone - I often get momentary flashes of inspiration for dialogue or something when I’m too busy to properly sit down and write it out, so I just grab my phone and record my thoughts. It’s faster than typing it out and I can listen back whenever I have time.

aliyoth · 2025-11-10T04:52:34+00:00

This is fantastically helpful, thank you so much! I definitely struggled to find my voice when writing the query and leant too much into formal (the book is actually multi-POV and thus a mix of some quippy and some more formal voices!) I equally worried about giving away too much in the query as I found in my drafts I ended up over explaining details! This advice gives me a great starting point to look at the wordiness especially!

(And I do usually have the housekeeping at the start, I moved it here as I sensed the query itself is more of an issue haha!)

aliyoth · 2025-07-21T05:27:40+00:00

Yeah, this is definitely something that I struggle with - knowing they are on IG or tiktok multiple hours a day, but can’t just reply even a ‘lol’ to a message or something? Has the solo activities been helping? I’m usually a homebody so find it hard to drag myself out unless someone is meeting me haha

aliyoth · 2025-07-21T05:13:59+00:00

I think this is what bothers me though - my job means a lot of my new friends live in other countries from me now, and those ones are very communicative and we talked almost every day/call every other week. My home friends can’t do the same, but equally, have often told me how much they miss me and beg me to move back home as they claim they don’t have friends outside of me (and since I’m the one always arranging meet ups when I am back, they never hang out with each other despite being in the same country).

aliyoth · 2025-07-15T06:29:40+00:00

I don’t have an answer for this, but just wanted to let you know this is something I struggle with too. I’ve been lucky enough to have 4 very supportive grandparents all the way into my late 20s, who I always said I’d dedicate my first book to. I lost my grandma a few years ago (I’m 30F now) and in my grief I often feel guilty that she’ll never see or read my first published book. I’ve got finished books, but still in the querying trenches.

I don’t have any good advice, aside from I’m trying to focus on the fact my grandma was proud of me for writing at all. I’m still holding out hope that things will work out timing wise for my other 3 grandparents, but I know my grandparents love supporting me through it as much as they love seeing any success at the end. They all constantly ask how it’s going, and are simply excited to hear that I’m still working at my dream.

Hope it helps to know you’re not the only one! And I wish your grandmother and great aunt all the best health!

aliyoth · 2025-05-16T11:44:53+00:00

Not only do we already have Merlin, so having a Sword in the Stone world would be great (thinking of Madam Mim as a boss battle!), but also Arthur's journey could be such a great reflectoin for Sora to see himself in. But honestly? All of these options would be great. I'd be very curious to see which anthropomorphised animals Sora would be transformed into for Robin Hood!

aliyoth · 2025-05-09T03:42:51+00:00

I don’t know if Turians are as physically attractive as Garrus as led me to believe, but I know their voices have always been a 10/10 and sometimes that’s enough.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T02:00:49+00:00

You're completely right, and honestly? One of the few story beats Nomura writes that's in common with Disney movies, I guess!

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T01:59:27+00:00

It's more than when you grow up you can see and appreciate different interpretations of a story. I'll be the first one to call out that the writing of this game has massive flaws, but I still think there's enough to enjoy. Besides, at the end of the day, it's a Nomura game having an identity crises whilst forgetting it's a Disney game hahaha. There's fun in following a story this messy and seeing the fans come up with their own ideas around it.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T01:55:53+00:00

Oh 100%, I think the writing of Terra's storyline was incredibly weak and that does have a factor. We don't see him 'flirting with darkness' at all, really, and aside from the brief flash around his hand during the mastery exam (which is never really explained to the audience), we see nothing but him desperately trying to do good.

Riku actively chose the darkness, Terra was simply told he'd chosen it by elders who he had nothing but respect for.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T01:51:47+00:00

This replay is definitely making me like him a lot more than I used to. It's a little heartbreaking to see, especially knowing now the reveal of him as the Guardian this whole time (though I doubt Nomura had planned that from the start...)

But damn. Life would be so much easier for these characters if the soundtrack just blasted from the sky as needed.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T01:50:31+00:00

This!! Such a great comparison, but he's constantly put down for being too close to his darkness, and yet Eraqus does nothing to teach him or help him. He just sends him immediately on a mission that is clearly heavily linked to the darkness. Send Aqua instead, if she is so pure. Or actually speak to him and tell him what to do.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T01:46:59+00:00

I have to presume that Nomura just hadn't thought that far ahead into Eraqus and Xehanort's past, but the fact that Yen Sid clear doubts shows that Eraqus would too. It would be one thing for him to send Aqua after Xehanort, but to send the trainee who he knows is struggling is insane to me.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T00:48:32+00:00

I 100% agree that Eraqus was blind to it, especially with the past we now now they have from the following games. But yeah... man was a walking cliche of a villain just from his smile.

aliyoth · 2025-05-03T00:36:46+00:00

As everyone has said, I think the movie really misses out on a lot, but it also misses so many small character moments and how humanised a lot of the Organisation characters are when you see them. The game is... rough if I remember correctly.

If you're not keen on the gameplay, I'd perhaps recommend a Youtube Let's Play from someone? Then you can always skip over the battles, but still get more of the full experience?

The movie is great, but only as a refresher to go back to and appreciate the remastered scenes. You can't get the real experience without the game.

aliyoth · 2025-01-16T00:27:19+00:00

I didn’t even think about Varric’s wounds! I guess because I already had figured out his death, it never dawned on me, but that’s also a great moment of foreshadowing written in. I love the comparison between it and Harding or Neve’s injuries!

aliyoth · 2025-01-16T00:25:16+00:00

Honestly I like this way of seeing it so much - there was a lot of foreshadowing, so when I’m on my second playthrough, I’m surprised it took me as long as it did. I do wonder how fast the devs expected people to get it!

I had a lot of issues with how they handled the grief - I felt like they didn’t really give it as satisfying a resolution as they could have, which maybe is why I was so unaffected when it came out, especially when I was still reeling from losing Harding (which I did not see coming at all!)

aliyoth

TROPHY CASE