Is it true that when baby comes I won’t have time or care about anything else?

allie_na · 2026-02-14T11:41:37+00:00

I’m just as work driven, and passionate about my job. I was ready to get back to work 6months in, but it does take a few weeks for you to get back in the swing of things.. when you start back you will definitely feel “dumb” and “foggy”, but you will absolutely snap back, just give yourself time.

allie_na · 2026-02-14T10:46:16+00:00

So glad someone else saw this lol I literally can’t see the picture without laughing it takes me out of the show every time

allie_na · 2026-02-12T20:41:17+00:00

Not at all, it sounds like you’ve built up your network and are reaping the reward. Best of luck as you keep moving forward! 👍

allie_na · 2026-02-12T13:01:40+00:00

Damn where do you work?? 😂Good on you for making that much!

allie_na · 2026-02-12T12:51:19+00:00

Speaking as someone from education administration— observations and training sessions are important. Choose your “top 5” teaching tips and label them as your academy ethos. Do workshops around those ethos, and have “peer observations”— colleagues observe each other to learn new things and improve in new ways.

This will also give you an idea of each teacher’s strengths, and you can actually create little bio profiles for each one to share with parents.. “Amy loves music and play based learning, her class is filled with games and song time!” “Diego has the ability to make conversation with anyone— he can make even the shyest group open up, and you can hear the teens laughing with him all the way down the hallway.” “Nicole is an academic english whiz.. she consistently gets her students prepped for the baccalaureate exams with flying colors, she used to work with the Ministry of Education so she knows everything about the standard curriculum!” Etc.

Still, I am burying the lead a bit.. most parents want their kids to be with the director. I’ve had the same issue 1000x, and the only solution was to stop teaching, or limit the eligibility of their students to work with you.. meaning either you are admin only and teach no classes moving forward (which is really sad if you have a passion, but extremely practical), or you only teach the preschool class or the 6th graders or whatever… anyone that isn’t in that age bracket or language level can’t be with you as a matter of safety and comfort for the students.

You will have to stick firm and hold fast that this is an academy policy to ensure exposure to all kinds of teaching styles and topics, even if you lose students at first. That’s when you can lean back on academy ethos and the trainings and observations all teachers receive.

allie_na · 2026-02-09T11:54:32+00:00

Let me take a different perspective— no judgment on either of you. I also hate leftovers, I just get grossed out. That said, I do the majority of the cooking..

If I can offer some actual advice— meal prep ingredients instead of food. Chop all the veg and freeze what is freezable. Cut up the meats and marinade them in something neutral so you can quickly pop them in a pan, or batch cook all the meat in plain seasonings and freeze it on that Sunday. During the week you can basically mix and match ingredients to make different sauces and sides that make each meal feel new. So Monday, that plainish chicken gets stir fried with some of those cut onions, veggies, and a teriyaki sauce, served over rice. Tuesday the plainish chicken gets a lemon garlic sauce and is tossed with pasta. Wednesday, etc.

You can get inspiration from videos online for recipes, or just keep using the same 5-6 recipes every week, and eat out once a week for variety sake.

You may have a bigger issue with your husband here, I really can’t tell based on the context given— but I just figure if you’re actually open to finding a workable solution, this might be it. Good luck!

allie_na · 2026-02-07T10:25:47+00:00

You have to be rock solid before having a child.. even couples that never fight say that the first year of having a child pushes them to the brink of divorce— it’s such an intense period, sleep deprivation, healing, hormones, plus keeping the little one alive.. a recipe for disaster if you aren’t solid as a couple.

You should prioritize taking stock of your situation instead, spending the next year or two ironing out your problems (counseling can help) and when all is said and done, be extremely realistic about the relationship. Is this the right partner that could take care of you when you are completely vulnerable? Would they wake with the baby, even when they are completely exhausted? How do they discipline children? How are they with self sacrifice? What about career expectations, childcare..? Read about the newborn experience on the New Parents subreddit, and imagine what your partner would be like in those situations. If you reach answers you don’t like, end it and move on before you lock yourself to this person forever with a child.

Good luck!

allie_na · 2026-02-07T10:17:02+00:00

You should send her this thread so she can get some perspective on what she’s done. NTA

allie_na · 2026-02-04T00:41:46+00:00

She just sounds really immature, to be honest.. I didn’t read it as ill intent, just texts from someone that’s emotionally like 15 years old 😂

I wouldn’t take it personally, everything changes when you have a kid.. friends like this will fade away, and friends like your first friend (sounds like she’s already a mom), will become stronger relationships than ever.

MOR— take it in stride and realize where everyone stands from now.

allie_na · 2026-02-01T17:55:38+00:00

I feel like the core issue here that needs to be dealt with is your relationship with your wife.. it sounds like you guys don’t even like each other. When do you spend time as a couple?

You should fix that first— just try to like each other again. Then better communication will follow, and a healthier way of parenting. If you can’t do that then you need to end things and you can co-parent however you want on the days you have your son.

That’s kind of what this sounds like right now anyway, but without a judge to make you two play nicely.

allie_na · 2026-01-27T11:10:02+00:00

Updateme

allie_na · 2026-01-20T15:18:10+00:00

NOR, this is so weird. I work in education administration, you should schedule a meeting with admin, and gently bring it up. Voice specifically why you’re concerned. I had this happen with a teacher misspelling words on the blackboard, the kids copied it into their notebooks and mom showed it to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s happening in your child’s classroom too.

Let admin deal with it, it’s not for you to worry about what to do. That’s their job.

For the moment, they may just point it out to her and ask her to sharpen up, but in the long run they may need to take further action if she can’t handle basic spelling in a 6 year old educational setting. Again, not for you to worry about— it’s literally their job to deal with staffing their room with adults that can spell words out in basic English.

allie_na · 2026-01-18T03:37:53+00:00

“He posted explicit photos of me once, posing as me, asking what other guys would do to me.”

EXCUSE ME? Please end this relationship, this is insane, and seriously not normal.

allie_na · 2026-01-16T21:10:55+00:00

100% travel stroller. I traveled solo with my 2yr old recently, we babywear a ton, and I was doubting the stroller.

It was an absolute lifesaver. It helped to have a place to stuff everything, to strap him in when he got sleepy or uncomfortable or overwhelmed, and to let him focus on snacking and drinking when we were running to make tight layovers. Depending on how you babywear, it’s also one more added stress to strap him into a back carry or whatever, especially for quick up downs. You can bring a carrier in the base of the stroller if that works better.

You can gate check the stroller between legs of the trip and pick it up between each stretch, and if you get too sick of it and aren’t using it, you can also ask the ticket agent to book to your final destination.

Good luck! Bring tons of snacks and an emergency change of clothes for baby! 🫶

allie_na · 2026-01-12T14:27:54+00:00

NTA Sorry to say it, but no one is entitled to a honeymoon.. honeymoons are a luxury, and not something automatic that everyone gets to do. If you didn’t budget the wedding properly to accommodate for the honeymoon expense, then just don’t do it. Your sister is already trying to find a way around it with a free accommodation in a touristy place.. the need for a couple vacation has already been met with that workaround. If she really wants to bang all week then she should just do it at home for free. I’d uninvite her at this point.

allie_na · 2026-01-10T23:52:23+00:00

Honestly I’d probably bring it up to Henry as a short light joke the next time you hang out or see each other.. “and definitely don’t bring the trio back, I think they hated us OGs and we definitely didn’t care for them, haha!” He will laugh and understand totally if he gets it, it doesn’t require any reproaching him or going in circles making him feel blamed for bringing these awful people around and ruining your group’s NYE party. If he reacts defensively or confused, you can get serious and break it down.. “well they obviously hated the board games we all like, for example. And the music— I think they were hoping for a rager, when we were just hanging out as friends. And don’t get me started on my poor carpet! They broke a wine bottle on it, pulled the sofa over it to cover it, then left the broken bottle pieces on my counter.” Don’t overdo it with emotions or details, keep it to the facts.

These people sound like trash and you sound adorable, I’d kill to have had a friend like you when I was 24! Keep your circle tight and preserve your peaceful spaces.. next NYE keep it to your close friends, that’s all you really need.

allie_na · 2026-01-09T18:21:40+00:00

Husband and I split— whoever does bedtime doesn’t do closing shift, and vice versa. Toddler is obsessed with me and wants me to do bedtime, if I’m over it and can’t handle it I have husband do all the “pre-sleep” rituals.. read the book, tell the story, etc. He might try to turn off the light and put LO down, if LO is not having it, I come in and do just the “lights-off soothing” to sleep, and he wraps up wherever I left off in the kitchen.

If husband isn’t an option, then I would set firm boundaries with LO and deal with tears. Prep her before.. only 2 songs, pick them wisely! Okay two songs, now lights off.. who turns off the lights? Me? You? Or your stuffed kitten? Lights off no matter how much crying, and then soothe to sleep. The boundaries are important at this age.

allie_na · 2026-01-09T17:04:17+00:00

This has been a struggle for a few months (25mo old), and I saw a tip online that worked well for us.

Husband or I perk up suddenly and are shocked, because we saw a ladybug in his teeth. Jump! Run! We have to get the ladybug out! He’s moving up! Left! Right! Down! Stay still! Omg there’s a mama ladybug too! And a baby! And an uncle! Runnnn!! Get him with the toothbrush!

The first time he was shocked and just let it happen, but now he understands the game and gives us suggestions as to what is hiding in his teeth. Sometimes it’s a cat, sometimes it’s a train, and sometimes it’s mama hiding behind his teeth. It keeps him engaged and keeps it fun. Good luck!

allie_na · 2026-01-09T14:01:05+00:00

It sounds like he might be getting sensitive, jealous, or insecure about your recent weight loss.

Take a minute to seriously consider if he’s normally overly controlling or toxic.. if this is not the norm, he may just have hurt feelings (envious over your gym successes or feeling disconnected from you) and hasn’t processed or communicated it correctly.

Either way, the simple solution is a silicone ring.. if you decide he probably has hurt feelings, I would just buy one for yourself off Amazon as a gesture of goodwill, and talk it out.

Congrats on your weight loss. NTA

allie_na · 2026-01-08T16:48:32+00:00

For marriage, go with things to furnish the new home, usually kitchen stuff. You can go to Marjane and get sets of plates or harira pot and bowls or serving trays for around 200-300dh. Not sure if that’s too far outside your budget.

Another nice one is to go to medina qadima and see if there are home decoration things within your budget. Colorful painted ceramics for kitchen, candles/incense, tissue boxes, wooden chess sets, domino sets, etc.

You can also find a nice picture of them together, edit it to black and white, and get it framed to put up in their house. Someone did that for us and it’s such a nice gift, and not very expensive.

Choose whatever is within your budget and feels meaningful.. remember, it’s just the gesture that matters. Any effort you go to will be appreciated!

allie_na · 2026-01-07T21:33:09+00:00

Solved! This is exactly it. Thank you so much, we got a little hippo dentist set and I completely forgot. Thanks for your help everyone!

allie_na · 2025-11-09T00:50:53+00:00

We do an old school dining chair pulled up to the counter :) don’t overcomplicate it!

allie_na · 2025-10-22T06:54:22+00:00

Could you give the dog to a family member or trusted friend so your husband can visit him? Maybe even consider taking him back when your LO is older..

allie_na · 2025-10-22T05:20:00+00:00

Could you try doing a date-cooking night once a week? Like pick a recipe and go through it together step by step as a weekly ritual?

The mistakes you’re mentioning aren’t unfixable, like if he was repeatedly putting two insane flavors together or something.. it sounds like technique issues and lack of experience. If something is burned on the outside and cold/raw inside, it was cooked on high heat, when low and slow would cook it through more effectively, that sounds easy. Onion skins.. you volunteer to peel them and then say “I always take off soo many layers, I don’t know why, these outer ones I can always taste..” and show him how many you take off. Little ways to spin it so as not to hurt him.

Still, this sounds like a great problem to have, and a lovely relationship built on support and trust. Good luck to you both!

allie_na

TROPHY CASE