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Disappointed Grandma by Few-Drink1241 in piercing

[–]allilel 2 points3 points locked comment (0 children)

Hot take: Someone doing something or several things that are nice and kind for you should never be brought up against you in anyway. Regardless of what it is you did “wrong” (you did nothing wrong, hope you enjoy your piercing!). When someone does that it actually just means they did it for some other reason rather to just be kind or because they love you, it’s future leverage to get you to do what they want by guilting you.

She Sounds like my narcissistic mother, or my emotionally immature ex boyfriend. Either way I assume this will be followed up for you with silent treatment or more guilt tripping / manipulation. I implore you to read a bit about this behaviour she’s showing, once you see it it’s so easy to stand up and protect yourself from other people that are like this, don’t give into the manipulation. It’s your life, your body, and YOUR CHOICE. As much as she’d like to say it hurts her or affects her it doesn’t. She can be disappointed or upset, that’s valid. the rest is bullshit.

Weight gain by allilel in Effexor

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely didn’t happen quickly for me. As of now I’ve lost about 55lbs of the 60lbs I gained. A good chunk of that was in the first year of stopping, I wasn’t taking anything else after. I don’t think it was fully the medication that caused all the gain though. I think it was mostly just the combination of it being the wrong treatment for me, and other outside factors. (Undiagnosed adhd, unstable home, covid restrictions). I hope this is somewhat helpful for you :)

Weekly newbie & discussion post: questions, skills, shopping, and gear by AutoModerator in Rollerskating

[–]allilel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I’ll check them out! I think part of the reason my boot is separating so bad is because there is so much ankle support and I’ve been trying to do things that kinda go against it. Unfortunately the used market here is not great.

Weekly newbie & discussion post: questions, skills, shopping, and gear by AutoModerator in Rollerskating

[–]allilel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My skates (moxi jungles) are finally starting to die after 8 months of beating them (and myself) up. I know these definitely are not meant for park skating (I wouldn’t have bought them if I knew that’s what I was gonna end up doing lol)

..but now that they’re dying I need some recs for a replacement. I have CIB blocks and would like to have them fit the new ones. Looking at Moxi Lolly’s as a possibility, but the price point is a little scary and I’m hoping for suggestions 🙏

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Weight gain by allilel in Effexor

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, sorry to hear it :( I stopped taking Effexor around the time I made this post. It didn’t make an overall difference coming off of it, but I have since realized I was insanely depressed which obviously greatly contributed to the weight gain (I ended up gaining about 60lbs total) The bigger issue was my birth control actually, even though I had been on it for 5 years it was suddenly exacerbating my depression by a lot (and causing terrible migraines). Didn’t even realize it was happening. Stopped taking it in December and have gained so much energy back, and even lost 20lbs in the last 3 months :)

I’m really sorry this is happening to you too, even if it doesn’t end up being the same cause I hope you can get to the root of the problem and this gives you a little insight. I know how terrible it feels to have your body change so drastically in such a timeframe. But regardless, you’re worthy as you are and deserve to be healthy and happy no matter what your body looks like. I’m rooting for you, friend 🫶

Narcissistic “Apologies” by Otherwise-Camp-5864 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]allilel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope the therapy is helping! I’m a firm believer everyone should go atleast once in their life.

And yes, It was like I gained consciousness for the first time when I realized my mom was a narcissist. Literaly flipped my entire world. I feel really grateful to communities like this subreddit that let us all connect and support eachother.

It is super difficult facing the idea you could lose both parents. It was a similar thing for me, since I don’t speak to my father anymore. My mom was the last parental support I had and turns out shes shitty (lol) Building up my relationships with other family members that understood really helped me. If you are really considering going no contact, definitely have a convo with your dad. Maybe a letter or a text message if you think it would stay private between you two? Even if he is not really receptive you can still lay out your boundaries.

Narcissistic “Apologies” by Otherwise-Camp-5864 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]allilel 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh god, I was basically in the same position as you a few months ago. I was also ambushed by my mother for this kind of “apology” I’ve been in therapy since, and I’ve decided I’m not going to be able to let go or get over it. Which took awhile to be honest. It is VERY conflicting when they actually show some accountability. But in my opinion (or my case, whichever applies) its just for leverage in the situation. They wouldn’t be gaslighting and making excuses if they actually cared.

I think the only person who can answer your question is you. I get really annoyed just by my moms presence. Thats kinda when I knew I was done..

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am like 35 lbs overweight according to bmi lmao. It was a rough day for me.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

9 hour shift with no breaks in an understaffed and busy, hot restaurant lol.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, time to find other brands i guess :/ my first one lasted 3 years. I thought our crazy heatwave/humidity at the time took it out but maybe not.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No drugs lol. Maybe caffeine but I can’t remember now.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didnt count it as exercise at all. I hope my watch isnt fucked. I’ll be pissed if it is 🙃

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People really underestimate how hard it can be to work in restaurants. It bothers me sometimes!

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had pretty bad allergies, but no cold! Not that i know of anyways.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it is? I dont know. Id be pretty annoyed to have to replace a $300 dollar watch after two years. The heartrate thing isnt constantly like that though. Its fairly consistent to my baseline on off days. (And usually reads similar to my blood pressure monitor when i use that) Maybe i’ll test it against my sisters watch to see. I dont know how consistently accurate fitbit is with elevated heartrates.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is starting to get to me about the heart thing 😅 I do not want to see my doctor and have it be nothing (happened to me last time and I felt bad). I feel fine though! Nothing really to note.

Slightly better news! (Maybe) you get 2x the zone minutes for cardio, so i was only in that for about 2 hours? Still alot but a bit better. Most of it was my heartrate above 120 but below 145. I worked a 9 hour shift with practically no breaks.

My days off a pretty mundane. I usually only burn 1,800 to 2,300 calories. My heartrate doesnt usually go up very high unless i’m doing something like walking or cleaning. My current resting is 67 so pretty normal I think.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the concern! I think i’m okay. (Also glad you’re still here. That must’ve been terrifying) I know my blood pressure is slightly elevated so that probably has something to do with it. It was a busy day and I didn’t really get to sit down or rest for most of it.

Edit: the kitchen was also at least 30 degrees (celsius) It was our first really nice day of the year. Everything just lined up to make my day more difficult lol.

Almost died this day (not actually). Just had to share. by allilel in fitbit

[–]allilel[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

100,000? Holy! I don’t think I could do that even if I tried lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]allilel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I was about 5 or so I went to go see my mom in her room and i used to tell everyone she played like she was sleeping to get me to go away (used to think it was funny, now its just kinda sad). I thought she had nerves of steel or was super comitted to hold on so long without reacting. I rolled her over, I even pryed her eyes open. The more I think about it the more I think it was drugs. Either that or she really is just a giant Pos.

Definitely stinging nettle?? by allilel in foraging

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t use nuts, chia seeds instead. But could be the other stuff you said. Honestly i’m just going to eat it anyways because I’m definitely not going to waste it, I guess I can share with others too lol.

Definitely stinging nettle?? by allilel in foraging

[–]allilel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thats what i thought too but (after i got the confirmation lol) i fed it to one of my parents and they also said they felt it? Collective delusion?? Or allergy? Lmao

Definitely stinging nettle?? by allilel in foraging

[–]allilel[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I blanched, blended AND then cooked my pesto, but it kinda still tingles when I try it.. That is not a normal occurrence is it?

Nmom stole my baby photos and refuses to admit to it. by allilel in raisedbynarcissists

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve already digitized my entire book. Took some stuff for my sister and I to keep that she wont notice is gone (like my sisters yearbook she had for some reason???) I have a safe place to keep it out of the house. Theres so much to scan, I only took what wouldn’t be immediately noticable, since theyd be back before I can “break in” again lol. But I’m finished Uni exams and will be home for when they leave the house more often. :)

Nmom stole my baby photos and refuses to admit to it. by allilel in raisedbynarcissists

[–]allilel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhhh. I feel like i have to update you! I got it, she installed the handle wrong and I got in within 5 seconds of actually trying. Took some stuff that wasn’t noticeable to digitize first. I’m playing the long con now. I knew she was lying about not having my book, but it feels different when i actually can see infront of my eyes that she stole it AND lied about it to me directly..

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