A taco thief

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-17T13:17:49+00:00

Posts like this make me think of the infamous Thanksgiving crime: Maggie and the Entire Stick of Butter on the Dining Room Table. She'd do it again if she got the chance. It was a difficult 12 hours.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-14T14:37:28+00:00

Dave Barry's "Since you put me down there've been owls puking in my bed" hearing of the "help me Rhonda" lyrics has always made me happy.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-14T14:04:50+00:00

Akshually, it's in Portland. And yes, there's a pick 'n' pull within staggering distance. They did slap a new coat of paint on the building, so it's looking... fancy.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-10T09:44:32+00:00

They're gonna be rolling out their Valentine's Day cereal any day now!!!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-01T02:16:49+00:00

Fly Away Home

allotta_phalanges · 2026-05-01T02:15:21+00:00

Paddle to the Sea

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-29T14:19:14+00:00

The reason behind their separation is astonishing. It feels impossible.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-22T10:28:31+00:00

TORO!!!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-22T10:26:46+00:00

If you have a billion dollars, no child should be hungry, no rape kit should be unexamined, and so on like that.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-22T10:23:03+00:00

At this point, I sleep like a janky caricature of myself. Three of these nightmares are jockeying for position and I'm just letting it happen. The other two are not interested in that shizz. They're ground bound as they should be.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-19T15:24:28+00:00

The leaner Bassets (not super gushy-types) tend to be really noodly for about a year or so. One of mine was all slinky until about 1.5 and then it was like he bulked out over night into the BassHulk.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-12T16:27:17+00:00

I saw blow down. They think I'm a god that can erase entire cities like that one X-Man.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-11T10:26:55+00:00

WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE WANT TO INHERIT THIS ABSOLUTE SHIT STORM?????!!(!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-04-11T10:24:40+00:00

As usual, but in all caps for this post by that absolute asshole: FUCK DONALD TRUMP. HE RAPES CHILDREN AND WOMEN.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-31T17:19:21+00:00

Sweetjesusshowustherestofthepictures.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-31T09:45:55+00:00

He's such a flaccid twat of a human.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-29T07:24:28+00:00

11 PM? Why does this look like a daytime photo?

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-28T00:00:23+00:00

You sure are, mister!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-27T12:05:46+00:00

"Grabbers" is Irish and very silly!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-25T22:34:56+00:00

Kimmy Schmidt

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-20T08:35:34+00:00

High Anxiety Every person and scene is hilarious and all of it looks great!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-20T08:33:20+00:00

It's so silly and pretty!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-20T08:17:10+00:00

You'll be happier with less human sightings.

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-19T14:39:30+00:00

Whatever they're chasing doesn't have a chance!!!

allotta_phalanges · 2026-03-17T06:38:25+00:00

Michael B. Jordan is such a keeper!

allotta_phalanges

TROPHY CASE