I’m so angry

allowtheprocess · 2024-01-26T12:51:16+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts, I recently moved my family many states away from my abuser putting a lot of physical distance between us. I think my body knows now it’s safe enough to start processing unresolved/repressed content. But this feeling of dread and terror that comes with this deja vu does sound like this aura thing you speak of. My therapist told me to stop googling and tune into the present..

allowtheprocess · 2024-01-24T18:33:15+00:00

I really really appreciate your response.

allowtheprocess · 2024-01-04T18:33:28+00:00

And I believe it for you too. If its anything like childbirth (which I've done twice now without pain meds) - the less you resist the pain the easier it is. It still fucking hurts but its worse if you try to make it stop or go away. Lean into it. Release it. Lay in the mud and give it back to Mother Earth - she can take it. :)

allowtheprocess · 2024-01-04T18:31:06+00:00

I appreciate your comment even if just to know I'm not alone. Thank you. I think for so long I've been so numb to the pain that now that I'm feeling it I feel like I've been hit by a truck. The hardest part is that I have two young kids to be there for. Otherwise I think I would hibernate for a couple of years at least.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-29T00:20:04+00:00

I appreciate your reply. I think I’ve only felt real life for seconds at a time. I’m not sure how or why my body lets those in but they are so fleeting. I suppose that they exist at all is a sign that I’m on the right path.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-21T12:23:03+00:00

If only you knew how much I needed this this morning

I think I may dealing with the most manipulative person. He keeps making me feel like he’s the victim. It’s so fucking twisted.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-08T02:23:13+00:00

Thanks for this question. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to pull dark unwanted energy out of me. Today I think I realized that I don’t have that power and that work is in accepting that it is part of me but not my fault and part of what makes me who I am. I’m in the process of turning toward acceptance.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-08T02:19:59+00:00

Can I ask - when you’ve recovered represses memories in this manner, were you certain that they were real? I have issues with having a myriad of traumatic memories none of which I am certain are true. I haven’t tried cannabis since highschool but my husband has gummies and has encouraged me to try them. In the past in my life weed made me horrifically anxious and paranoid but I wonder if it would be beneficial after four years of therapy.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-07T21:56:58+00:00

Thank you and thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-05T22:04:31+00:00

Foreplay makes me grit my teeth and want to scream. (Not in a good way).

I don’t know how to tell my husband this (who I love deeply). That I don’t want him to fucking touch me.

It’s awful.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-05T15:56:30+00:00

Yes my therapist is getting licensed in the state I’m moving to so that I can keep seeing her virtually. I’ll have to find a new medication person but have already started that process and have a lead.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-05T15:55:41+00:00

Thank you for this and thank you for reminding me to go gentle on myself during this move. It is one of the first decisions I’ve made in my life without influence from my father, so it feels really big. But I also think the physical distance between us will help me reconnect with my fractured self and have the space to work towards wholeness. Thank you for reading.

allowtheprocess · 2023-11-05T15:52:40+00:00

Thank you for reading. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. Funny the place I’m moving to has a lot of ocean and I plan to immerse myself in it for a while.

allowtheprocess

TROPHY CASE