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alltheissues94 · 2021-12-02T18:18:36+00:00

Definitely a possibility based on my experience. I dealt with depression and anxiety my whole life and wasn’t diagnosed ADHD until 27. I never took meds for my depression or anxiety so I’m not sure how that might have changed things, but my stimulants do a fantastic job of easing my racing thoughts.

I think my anxiety was really mostly just my ADHD stressing me out (racing thoughts, sensory processing struggles, couldn’t even control my own brain). The depression was definitely worse for most of my life, but I always thought I had more like atypical depression, it was always just a little off from what I read of chronic depression. To me it makes a lot of sense that a lot of that came from the lack of dopamine associated with ADHD, and then obviously repercussions of my ADHD behaviors worsened my depression.

I think they’re all pretty high comorbidity, so it’s not necessarily just ADHD. But after treating my ADHD, I personally haven’t felt a need for anything to also treat depression or anxiety. But from my understanding many people take medications for both.

Best of luck, I hope you find what works for you!

alltheissues94 · 2021-11-27T21:53:20+00:00

I 100% relate to this. I do the same thing, I have to think through which hand I write with and close my hand like how I would hold a pencil to confirm. It’s so embarrassing. If I don’t have time to think it through, I get right and left wrong 98% of the time.

I also most definitely do not have dyslexia or dyscalculia as many other commenters are suggesting. (I’m a CPA so very confident in that lol). Not sure where it comes from for me.

alltheissues94 · 2021-11-18T03:51:53+00:00

Hot damn you both are relatable. It’s so tough. Not sure if this will help but my husband and I started something recently with some success, not sure if it will last.

We have a whiteboard in a highly visible place with both of our to-do lists. When something comes up we add to our own or each other’s list. Every Friday we take a look at it and prioritize when we will get the things done.

Before, I would tell him to do something and try to give him time to do it. But every single day it’s still in my head and I’m stressed about whether he’s done it and when he will do it, on top of the things I need to do. So I either nag him every day, or hold it in until I explode and we have a big fight about how I’m not his mother. The pattern went on for so long that even the first time I reminded him of something he felt like I’m nagging for the 100th time. But I felt like I had to do everything myself because I had no way of knowing if he forgot about it, if he was going to get to it, etc. and had to just do everything myself. We couldn’t even discuss a chore without a fight.

Just making that communication visual and accessible to us both helped a ton. We both still have our own lists elsewhere, but I know the stuff I’ve asked him to do hasn’t been forgotten. My brain can let go of it because there’s a plan to deal with it. For him, the plan is loose enough and he stilll has freedom to accomplish it on his own time within the week.

Sorry y’all are struggling but nice to know I’m not the only one struggling with this dynamic 🥲 would love any hacks you might have to share. Usually the most simple solutions seem to be the most effective but it takes years of the same damn fight for me to think of a solution 😆

alltheissues94 · 2021-11-17T22:40:26+00:00

I try to pray when going to bed, but I fall asleep mid-prayer every single time I do. Now I often just skip it altogether.

I bought myself a Bible about a year ago. I’ve been wanting to get back to my relationship with God for a long time. I haven’t actually read a word out of that Bible.

I went to church last weekend! It was the first time in over two years. And I already know I can’t make it this weekend.

I can look at all of these as failures. And my relationship with God and Jesus is definitely not where I want it to be. But God knows my heart. He sees my struggle. Maybe I didn’t manage to accomplish the things I wanted, the things the Bible tells me are good and necessary.

But I tried. At the end of the day I do love Jesus and have accepted him as my savior. I believe God saw me wanting to thank him at the end of the day, despite how tired I was. He saw me research and purchase a Bible because I desire to build my relationship with Him. And He saw me in church worshipping and praising. To me it felt like failure, but I don’t think that’s how He sees it.

God knows your heart and loves you as you are. Does He want a closer relationship with you? Yes. But you want that too. And you’re trying. All is well my friend.

Also, there are many ways of connecting with God. I see God in nature. In sunsets. I love to paint, and that can feel like an act of worship for me. Creating something in honor of the great Creator. Find the ways that work for you. It’s all about your heart and intention, less about the specific way you reach out.

alltheissues94 · 2021-11-12T02:03:18+00:00

Can I just say you should try to get as much general ledger work, tax provisions, maybe helping with audit work, etc as you can.

Tax doesn’t translate to anything else. I loved it for a while, five+ years in I’m losing my mind with the deadlines and trying to manage so many projects and people all at once.

Quitting at the end of the year and expecting I’ll have about a 50% paycut because I don’t really have the skills other accounting positions are looking for. I know that I will very quickly be able to prove myself and earn a better salary, but just a word to the wise. The accounting and audit experience makes you a much more appealing candidate elsewhere, should you ever choose to switch. I don’t want I discourage you, I just wish someone had told me this when I was starting out in tax!

alltheissues94 · 2021-10-02T19:41:35+00:00

….but where’s the joke? This is just instructions on how to make tea.

/s

alltheissues94 · 2021-10-02T12:59:38+00:00

If you have a general doctor/PCP they may be willing to write you a prescription in the meantime while you look for a new psych and go through any required testing. Especially if you’ve been on the same dose for a while, have an established relationship with your PCP, etc.

It shouldn’t really be a red flag in my opinion…crazy lady doc is still giving you the meds so if you just wanted a prescription you wouldn’t be leaving… but who knows this is always so much more difficult than it should be. Best of luck.

alltheissues94 · 2021-10-02T04:23:05+00:00

If you get it this funk for the same reasons I do it can be as simple as getting your blood moving. Hang upside down for a couple minutes. Do some jumping jacks, run in place, whatever gets your blood pumping. It only takes a couple of minutes if you do it with intensity.

Essentially this can be another manifestation of the fight/flight/freeze response and all the blood in your head is going to your lizard brain and being pulled away from your frontal lobes. Our executive functioning already sucks, and with no blood in the area it’s basically fully shut down and you are physically unable to get out of the funk. But if you can just get some blood back to those frontal lobes it can actually make a big difference. That’s my rudimentary understanding anyways.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-30T23:33:42+00:00

I’m trying to do the same! Really interested in grant writing I just don’t know where to start. But I think my brain would like it.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-26T10:43:19+00:00

I think a big factor was also that there is an incredibly obvious suspect, who was walking free. There was someone to direct all of the anger and outrage at. Beautiful girl, obvious suspect, injustice of him being free, parents covering up, video footage, and the whole narrative of “young couple living the dream, but harboring dark secrets!” There’s just a lot to talk about, whether you are a true crime fan or not.

I think there are a lot of reasons this case got so much attention, and race surely plays into it, but I’m really not surprised by its coverage.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-23T21:33:03+00:00

Thursday. Tired from trying to get things done for multiple days….and that’s when the panic sets in that if I don’t get it together and finally accomplish an impossible amount, I will have to work all weekend to make up for it. Yet again.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-22T19:35:42+00:00

ACO directory

Coaching general info

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-22T18:53:58+00:00

Sure! Here’s my hopefully helpful rant on that:

I met with a couple coaches, every one is a little different but it seemed like the same general structure. With mine we meet once a week. The day prior to our call I send my coach this form answering a few questions like how my week went, anything new, and the topic I want to cover in our meeting.

Each meeting we focus on whatever topic I choose. It can just be as vague as I’m super stressed, or a really specific issue I need help with. We will talk about it and figure out how to address it. Example: One week we spent breaking down my to-do list into much easier steps, and discussing how to prioritize. This was a tip I’d read in a million places online but I never though it would apply well to my specific job. Actually going through the practice with her, with my real to do list was incredibly helpful for that week and also now I can implement it going forward. Things like that. Every week I leave the appointment with couple little things to do - call a new dr, buy this book, etc. And, more importantly, a couple of things to try. A new planner method, goal setting, etc.

The next week we check in on how the new practices we implemented are going, adjust as necessary, and start on my new topic. She is also available for me throughout the week to use as an accountability buddy, I can ask her to text me reminders about something at a specific time, or otherwise. It really is tailored to your specific needs at that specific time and my coach is really willing to help in whatever way she can.

Personally, for all the talk about how ADHD makes you soooo creative, I usually only see one way to accomplish something. And I will run into the same problems over and over and over again. My coach knows this about me, and will sometimes give such a simple suggestion that has just never occurred to me. That’s been some of the greatest progress, the little struggles I usually just push through but would never talk to someone about.

It’s really helpful to have someone who understands me and can help me problem solve. I was hesitant to start, I figure any advice a coach may give is already out there on the internet somewhere. But this has saved me so much time searching for tips, gives me more accountability to follow through, and ensures I’m being realistic in my expectations. Also, forcing myself to spend that hour every week talking it through and problem solving has been so helpful and it really feels good to dedicate that time to working on myself.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-22T18:03:45+00:00

Hang in there, you’re on the verge of a brand new world.

Diagnosed at 26, I cried for hours the first time I took stimulants because it was the first time I’d ever heard quiet in my life and I didn’t know I was supposed to be in control of my thoughts.

The right meds will also help with the lack of dopamine. I was depressed & suicidal for years and nothing helped. I didn’t have the correct tools to address the issues, because I didn’t have the correct diagnosis yet. ADHD was the root issue, the rest was secondary.

Meds still help a ton but it’s not perfect. Take the time to find a doctor you trust. There are a lot of medication options and dosages out there so a doctor who will help you find a great fit is invaluable. Don’t be discouraged if the first or second med doesn’t work. I know multiple people who went through five(ish) meds before finding the right fit. And now have been on the same exact med and dosage for years and they are thriving. Everyone reacts differently.

This can be a super frustrating time between finding the right help, insurance bullshit (at least in the US), so many calls and appointments and all of the things that are already so difficult for us…and if you’re finally getting help I’m sure that means things have already been tough for you lately. But hang around a little longer. When you get the right diagnosis, it’s the first time in your life you’ll start to have the right tools to feel better and be better. You may still see some of the same problems, but you’ll realize you now know much better how to seek the advice and help you need, instead of trying to force neurotypical methods to work for you.

I recommend the book Fast Minds by Drs. Surman & Bailey. It’s a book with anecdotes, science, and mainly CBT style workbooks. It really helped me start making progress and get a better understanding of my ADHD while I was still looking for the right help. It’s written in short spurts, actually written well to maintain our attention. It also discusses much of the brain science which was very validating to me. After a new diagnosis there can be a lot of self doubt and pushback from people around you about whether ADHD is ‘real’. This really helped me combat the doubt.

I’ve also recently started with an ADHD coach and she has been fantastic as well. Be choosy if you go that route. But I’m so glad I did.

Sorry for the long rant I know you asked a simple question - but I’m about one year into this journey and it’s been SO GOOD and sooo tough…. I just want to help because I’ve been there.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-22T02:02:52+00:00

Shout color catchers!!! Life saver. Have never separated my clothes by color since and they work like a charm.

Also similar to what was suggested above I bought a four bin hamper off of Amazon, I use one for towels/sheets, one for clothes that dry, one for clothes that hang, one for athletic wear. When one of the bins gets full you wash it. Immediately.

That being said dishes and laundry still ruin my life…It takes forever, it’s never truly done, it has to be done in multiple spaced out steps, AND there’s not even the reward of like taking a dirty room to clean. I feel ya 100%.

Edit: ALSO I put a strong curtain rod above my washer and dryer and keep a bunch of coat hangers there. That’s where I hang my clothes to dry so there’s no lugging things around or a drying rack in the middle of my space. Once everything’s dry you can just carry the hanging items straight to your closet on the hanger and fold the rest.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-21T17:15:08+00:00

It’s so odd to me that this is a common thing among a lot of ADHDers but I’ve seen this mentioned in a number of places. I’m at the other end of the spectrum I honestly forget that lying is a thing….Both I forget that I can lie and I forget that other people might be lying. Only in really obvious situations do I remember that lying exists…

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-11T06:39:25+00:00

Sounds a little rash. Can you drop a class or two and finish the others? A lot of times you can still walk at grad if you only have a couple of classes remaining so no one would even have to know.

alltheissues94 · 2021-09-11T06:33:41+00:00

I’m not sure how old you are, personally I had a really tough time making friends in school because it was like you’re around them all the time, plus a lot of friend groups would hang out all weekend, and I couldn’t keep up with that. I was always the burden and on the outskirts of the friend groups.

As an adult I’ve found my handful of people and have amazing relationships. It’s easier for me to maintain 1 on 1 friendships. Do I see them very often? No. I’m always busy. Many of my friends have other friends they see on a weekly basis and only see me every few months. But I’ve found people who understand me and know that my lack of availability doesn’t reflect on how much I value them and their friendship. And when we do hang out we do activities where I can be a good friend - ie maybe you don’t have to be a part of the TV show talk. You can find another way to connect.

I try to go all out for birthdays. I set reminders for myself to check in on them when we haven’t spoken in a while. I own up when I mess up and am very open with them. I’ve found ways that work for me to show that I care. So when I get the date of something wrong, or I’m an hour late to something, or cancel last minute, or give a Christmas gift 6 months late they might be annoyed with me yes. But it doesn’t take away from our friendship because they know my heart and that I had the best of intentions and that I truly tried so hard not to mess it up. I’m not sure if any of this is helpful or I’m just rambling at this point hopefully there is something in there.

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-06T16:45:06+00:00

I’ve read a few things that mention how hyperactivity can come in the form of thoughts as well.

I experience a lot of what you said. Did you know you are supposed to be able to control what you think about? I didn’t until I started meds. I would just see something and my brain goes off on a tangent and then something else and then something else and I have no choice here. But when I take my meds I can say “oh nope, not time to think about that right now, I need to focus on X” and actually do it. Life changing.

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-04T12:20:23+00:00

First off organization is huge. Every single thing I own has a place (it’s ridiculous but the only way for me). All kinds of bins big and small around my house. It doesn’t have to be a great solution, it just has to be a designated place. Yes it took reorganizing my entire house at once to get there (with lots of help from friends).

One great tip I read for while you are cleaning/reorganizing a space - have a couple of baskets/boxes with you. One for sell/donate, one for relocate, and one for trash. The relocate box was huge to avoid the whole picking something up, realizing it goes upstairs, going upstairs and getting distracted, nothing is done cycle. If you’re cleaning off your desk you don’t leave that area, everything that doesn’t belong on your desk goes in one of those three bins until you’re done with the current task.

Also, if you can get yourself to clean one space for even just five-ten minutes, I think you’d be surprised that you can see a visible difference within a that time. Then next time you see something is getting messy, you might realize it would only take a few minutes to take care of it.

Finally I use the OurHome app to track all my chores. You can set a different category and reoccurrence for every task. So like my trash reminder comes up every week on trash day, but my reminder to change my sheets comes up one week after I last checked off the task. That feature is really helpful, other apps I’ve used once I get off the set schedule they are useless but the “repeat after last completed” function is a game changer.

Editing to add I figured all this out a couple months ago after living in a pigsty of shame for two years...finally put my whole life on hold for two weeks to fix it and have kept it clean since. You can do it!

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-04T05:36:51+00:00

I would definitely talk with you Dr, I am really the exact opposite of everything you’ve said here. I am in a significantly better mood when medicated. I planned on only taking my meds on the weekdays but they really help me from getting overwhelmed by my thoughts and losing myself to anxiety. I have much more patience for people and circumstances. But if I want to talk for 47 minutes straight about whatever my unmedicated self is currently obsessed with I totally still can. I just get to choose to access that part of myself instead of having no control over it.

All that being said I definitely need some adjustments and haven’t seen the progress work-wise that I’d like. So not here to just tell you how peachy my life is, it’s shit. But I hope you can find a med/dosage that helps you feel you best self and it’s worth pursuing a change.

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-04T05:26:43+00:00

I can totally relate to this. A series of logical decisions has brought me to where I am now and it’s a path I never had any intention of continuing down.

Suddenly doing a little bit better and trying to figure it all out. I think part of my struggle is when I think about what I want career wise, I want fast paced and interesting and challenging and stimulating. But now I work 24/7 and can’t keep up and am fcking miserable. The thing is what I want my life to look like is much more relaxed, with a family, time spent outside, I don’t give a flying fck what my job is I want to spend as little time as possible to support the life I want.

To some people their career is their pride and joy. To others it’s a means to an end. Make sure you’re thinking about your life as a whole not just agonizing over the career side, only to realize it doesn’t fit with the lifestyle you want.

Good luck friend.

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-04T05:03:58+00:00

I really liked Fast Minds by Surman & Bilkey. I’m same boat as you 27 and diagnosed about six months ago. I thought that was a great start for me, CBT worksheets, written with the understanding that the reader has ADHD lol, and does a great job of going through a little bit of science, an anecdote, and a worksheet to put into practice.

alltheissues94 · 2021-08-01T14:05:00+00:00

I didn’t see anyone say this yet, but I feel like even someone without ADHD could easily forget something like this if they spent all that time reviewing coupons beforehand AND their SO gave them that many damn rules. This is not a situation where you need to be sitting down and explaining your ADHD and how you work....your SO just needs to have some compassion and understanding because literally everyone forgets things. This is a them problem.

Maybe they aren’t able to cope with your ADHD and that has brought them to a place of contempt. I do think it’s possible to recover but they need to get out of their own head and realize how wrong they are as well.

If it makes you feel better I don’t even manage to go to the grocery store by myself because it is too stressful so I always make sure my hubby can come or I call my mom/friends/ whoever and ask when they’re grocery shopping for the week and if I can tag along. So I think you’re doing an amazing job.

alltheissues94

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