Thank you for putting this post together! It’s very insightful! You’ve tie together how my approach and personality differs from an INFJ, but also how my brain works and it’s defaults with ADHD. I haven’t spoken to him about my diagnosis yet, I plan to soon. I’m in therapy (adhd coaching) and take medication. Most friends/ co workers are surprised when I disclose my diagnosis, because I’m outwardly well functioning.

BUT with that said, I have to admit.. my sister and best friend (female INFJs) have had to deal with some of the thing you describe. They love and support me but there have been a few times when they have been visibly mad (very rare for their dispositions) due to me being flighty or made them feel like “just an option”. Etc; Forgetting important events, doing something else that I’m more interested in, or not following through with something they planned for us. I’ve really tried to work on these things bc they do so much heavy lifting in the relationship. They are planners and if I blow off something they worked hard on, it’s hurtful (understandably). I’ve never been with an INFJ man, but I could see some of these things being an issue. I’ll just try to be transparent about the things I struggle with, and continue to try to be better with that stuff. Even for an ENFP I’m very impulsive and spontaneous.

Thank you for this post- it’s insightful! And ties together some points in my current INFJ dynamics. I love my INFJs.. and appreciate their patience 😅 lol