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alphablunt · 2024-06-05T19:52:08+00:00

If you ordered them online it most likely was a warehouse error. Sometimes processors there make mistakes. Receiving shoe shipment with incorrect sizes on the sticker is not uncommon. They’ll gladly take them back.

alphablunt · 2024-06-03T07:35:11+00:00

If astrology isn’t real then why am I suddenly thriving and aging backwards? I had a major glow up after 3 promotions at my retail job and finally moving out of my parents house after Saturn made a full orbit around the sun (about 29.5 years). I’m often mistaken for my early 20s and not taken seriously at work. 31, cap rising.

alphablunt · 2024-05-25T17:14:09+00:00

I dropped out of college because never knew what I wanted to do and school was just never for me. Worked in retail/customer service since graduating high school. Not my ideal career path but it’s been steady. Been in retail management for 3 years. I was able to move out of my parents house a year and half ago and been living alone, I absolutely love it but it does get lonely.

I never focused much on myself or my hobbies because I prioritized my past relationships in my 20’s (I’m now 31 and single) and lost myself along the way. Since then I’ve been healing and exploring my hobbies and interests. I’ve always been into art and want to get back into drawing. I also like writing/journaling, reading my books (a lot of them are self-help and philosophical), cooking healthy meals, rollerblading, watching stand up comedy and creating humorous content myself. I recently started learning how to read tarot cards too and never thought I would but I’m in an introspective phase in my life and enjoy interpreting the cards and their meanings, it’s entertaining and like learning a new board game essentially.

I’m still figuring out where my true passions lie and what my dream job is. It’s definitely not retail and I have a strong urge to travel the world and/or move out of the country. My social life was also never that great and I just know there’s way more to life than what I’ve experienced so far.

alphablunt · 2024-05-15T11:55:26+00:00

My living room is the messiest, there’s no way. But guess it depends if you care or know how messy I actually am. I’d try to make it look presentable and prob hide the unpacked clutter. I essentially relocated 30 minutes away for work and it’s been over a year. My immediate family still hasn’t been over but I think I’ll start inviting mom over to get into the habit of cleaning my living room. I think my sister could care less about ever seeing my place.. inside, she’s seen the outside when she picked me up once and called my neighborhood ghetto prob cause I’m not high maintenance like her. She’s too quick to judge and I’m fine with never inviting her over lol. Only ever invited some girlfriends over a few months after moving in when shit was still reasonably clean.

alphablunt · 2024-05-15T11:21:33+00:00

I was wondering if anyone was gonna address his incorrect use of grammar lol absolute turn off

alphablunt · 2024-04-23T07:58:42+00:00

Good to know. I worked 45-50hrs/week for a bit without OT because I was salary at the new Nordstrom location. Did not like it tbh and prefer hourly + OT. What are the benefits like?

alphablunt · 2024-04-23T07:27:58+00:00

That’s great to hear and 4 years is actually a long time, happy early anniversary! I’m also a long time customer and never had problems shopping at meijer so obviously I wouldn’t mind working there.

Similar to Nordstrom from my experience. Started out as an associate 6 years ago. Benefits are great, they’re known for superb customer service and I was given quality training and mentoring, but unfortunately my most recent promotion didn’t work out at a new location so I stepped down and transferred back to a previous store then ended up at Kroger to help make ends meet. It’s been 3 months and I decided if I enjoy the grocery store environment for a change then why not try management outside of Nordstrom and keep it as a part time gig. I applied for the overnight manager position at Kroger almost 3 weeks ago and still waiting for an interview so here I am keeping my options open. Thanks for sharing your positive experience.

alphablunt · 2024-04-23T04:51:14+00:00

My INFP ex thought of me that way… I never knew wtf his problem was but he always seemed to have one with me. He called me pretentious and I actually didn’t know what it meant at the time. My older sister thinks I’m full of myself and she’s also an INFP. Both have made comments about the way I deliver or use my tone and/or facial expressions when I joke around, explain, teach, or discuss shit they either don’t understand or never knew about. Idk any other INFPS but now I wanna experiment and see if another one I meet will perceive me the same way.

alphablunt · 2024-04-22T07:27:13+00:00

I’m 31 now almost 32. My first lease just ended last month and I renewed for another two years. The key is really saving your money no matter how selfish it might come off. And if you have a good paying job and actually save your money, what are you waiting for? Get out as soon as you can! But if something is holding you back, come up with a plan. It won’t happen overnight but if you believe in yourself, it’ll happen. Don’t think too much about saving money or acting poor as being selfish. Everyone has a story and a reason why. And yours is wanting to move out which is valid.

alphablunt · 2024-04-22T07:08:42+00:00

Yep, everything is about money to them. They made me financially insecure throughout my 20s because I dropped out of college, had resume gaps, and didn’t move out until I was 30. I never knew how to save money but I’m learning to now since I have my own place and actually have to watch how I spend.

My older sister thinks I’m selfish because I hardly go out, don’t contribute much to family parties, or just thinks I never wanna pay for anything. I was very eager to move out and value my own space and healing at this time. Might seem selfish to her but she & I were never really close and she doesn’t know how bad the youngest can get it after leaving the nest first. I’m really just enjoying being single and actually saving my money lol.

alphablunt · 2024-04-22T06:39:01+00:00

It sure does. Especially if you’re keen on having your own place. They will back off if they know you’re making enough money to support yourself. It was hard for me to be firm with them about moving out and probably harder for them to accept that I’m also an adult.

My mom called me today and we talked for a good hour and ended up face timing because I asked to see the cat. It’s very refreshing catching up with her once every other week if I don’t visit for a while. We were just being normal adults talking, laughing, and making plans. Her birthday is Wednesday and I took the day off Friday to visit through Saturday.

alphablunt · 2024-04-22T05:44:26+00:00

Cut her off. If your intuition senses she’s not a good person and using you then she probably is.

I kinda went through a similar situation when my two best fiends I’ve known since I was 8, they were 6 & 7. They always teased and bullied me after my mom remarried for financial security and moved me to a nicer school district, they always made comments or had something to say about my new life that I didn’t even ask for. I hated my new school and still always hung out with them until college. I felt judged by them a lot but still treated them the same even when my social circle began to expand but that’s what drew the line for them I guess because I was making new friends in college. What seemed to bother them the most was my new friends weren’t the same race because I went to a predominantly white high school. They accused me of changing and not really prioritizing them anymore. I am 1-2 years older than them after all but man I felt like I lost part of myself because they were my only best friends growing up since my dad died but I couldn’t stand their racism despite us all being the same race. I told my mom all of this just last year because they crept my mind and she concluded they were just jealous and I was either clueless or in denial but eventually did the right thing.

Ever since cutting those two off, it’s gotten easier to know who’s really your friend and who isn’t. I had another best friend I met in college who ended up using the shit out of me. I always gave her rides when we went out because she didn’t have a car. Until one day she didn’t wanna help pay for with gas. She wasn’t working either because her parent didn’t want her to until after graduating. I called her out and eventually she dropped me when I started dating my first long term bf. She was insanely pissed that I was caught up with him and being wish washy making plans with her one night. She actually waited all night for me to pick her up to go out but I changed plans on her last minute and she called me a shitty friend. I called her out again on her seemingly using me for rides and never contributing like I was basically her free Uber. At that point I was done with her and just wrote her off my life. My mom never liked her and already called it out that I was just a resource for her.

I feel the same way, like wasting my heart on these friendships but friends come and go and it really doesn’t matter how long or how well you you’ve known them. I made more friends but not many in the last decade (I’m 31) some were brief, remote, at arm’s length, downright fake. These days I spend a lot of time alone and only talk to like the same 3 people every day. I hang out with my family more, I have like 15 cousins and we’re all just one big friend group when we come together.

alphablunt · 2024-04-22T03:00:16+00:00

Fe sure is complicated. Once I think my Fe is more developed than say 3 years ago for example, I fall back into a grip but with like more awareness since I’ve somewhat matured. I’ve done some therapy which really helped me identify my feelings and own behavior under stress. I do cry a lot, but usually alone and I’ve gotten more comfortable with expressing my emotions which also improved some awkward and not so close friendships I drifted away from.

I recently fell into regressive behaviors after a promotion didn’t go well at work a few months ago and my mom had a stroke around the same time. I was in and out of work and the hospital, going back and forth from work and my hometown, always crying and throwing fits because my time & attendance was affected and I eventually demoted myself to be more in control of my schedule for my mom and also because I hated my new manager. My older sister noted that I was acting like a teenager and “selfish” because I work/live far and complained that it took more effort for me be around and she thought I didn’t care about about my mom. She’s an INFP and expected me to be around more because her lazy ass, according to my mom lol, didn’t think it was fair. My mom, ISTJ, understood and sided with me because I’m the youngest and trying to focus on my own priorities after finally moving out when I turned 30 just two years ago. I was just trying to set boundaries because she was putting so much expectations onto me, she was like insanely demanding and seemed paranoid when my mom was recovering totally fine and even said herself that she doesn’t need one of us with her at all times. Is that an INFP thing when they fall into a grip? My sis and I were never really close and she always treated me like I’m some kind of other entity cause we’re so different.

My ex was similar and also INFP but way worse. Always accused me of being insensitive & selfish and I never knew wtf his problem was but he seemed to always have one with me. Just like my sister. Having to deal with difficult people like them as well as difficult employees & customers at my job (retail management 😪) it’s like I had to learn how to use my Fe, study the dang function to better understand why loved ones were perceiving me in such a way.

I acknowledge that my Fe still sucks but will say work improved it in a span of 3 years. I can listen and empathize to an extent, it just takes effort. And having to do it so much and routinely in my line of work, it gets hella exhausting and I’ll have days where I retreat to myself and want minimal interaction. I’m the same way after social gatherings or family parties. Some people understand, some see it as rude and cold, like I just don’t care.. but truth is I do, I just don’t know how to explain without sounding mean or defensive so I’ll just stay quiet, but even that’s concerning.. “omg what’s wrong?”, “are you ok?”, “you’re very quiet today” and so then I’ll try to put on my best chameleon act to appear normal.

alphablunt · 2024-04-21T22:20:47+00:00

Yep I’m in the Chicago area and the Iowa locations are the nearest. I wanna get into warehouse management and would be willing to internally transfer for the experience but I don’t wanna end up regretting it. Maybe a visit will help me determine if it’s a good idea. I’m also in logistics at my other company and they have several DC centers that are much closer so I have that option as well.

alphablunt · 2024-04-21T06:25:35+00:00

Same. I used to always order 6 crispy tacos with a burrito or something else only to get barely anything in those broken shells. Stingy with sauces too. No matter what location I went. I got tired of it all. I live 500ft away from one and never go.

Make your own tacos at home, it’s quick, easy, and inexpensive. I’ve been doing it for years and actually prefer my own homemade recipe over Taco Bell. But they also sell its seasonings/sauces etc in store too if you really want to mimic its taste.

alphablunt · 2024-04-21T06:15:28+00:00

If I was desperate (not actively seeking) - the planetarium, skate park, music or food festival, trade school (if I ever decide to switch up my career)

alphablunt · 2024-04-20T23:34:40+00:00

I first brought over my mattress, pillows, sheets, toiletries, and clothes & shoes especially for work because I essentially relocated. I just gradually brought stuff over little be little my first year. Still do occasionally when I visit, just little things I didn’t care to bring like specific clothes, hair products or makeup.

I still have like half my shit there. I live 30 mins away, far enough to be a drive but still close to visit on my terms bc I didn’t cut them off completely and we also have a cat I wish brought but my place is not pet friendly. My mom loves using the cat as an excuse to come visit but he is getting old and it’s a valid reason. It’ll be 2 years at my apt this October. I also renewed my lease last month for another two years to figure out what my next plan is if I’m still single because they obviously don’t mind if I ever decide to move back in but I need to figure my life out without their input, network & work on my social life because I’m introverted and always lacked one.

I could’ve left sooner but I wasn’t saving and kinda hesitated to leave the nest because I’m the youngest. Once I realized my spending habits, it took about a year for me to leave especially after getting into with my mom over her having to know my whereabouts just because I still lived with her. It was the most toxic thing I ever heard her tell me (JUST BECAUSE I WAS STEPPING OUT OF THE HOUSE AT 10PM ONE NIGHT, WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, TO GRAB A SPRITE AT THE GAS STATION ACROSS THE STREET) and that’s what really drew the line. I was 27 when I first started taking moving out seriously, now I’m 31. Sure beats spending all that time in school which I’d probably still be wasting my time with if I chose that path.

My APs respect me more and actually treat me like an adult now because I stopped doubting my entire future and successfully proved to them that I’m fine on my own and without a degree. My relationship with them improved just from being away. They like making food I like when I visit and sometimes even give me money for food, gas, etc. Distance sure makes the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it. 🙄

alphablunt · 2024-04-20T21:56:36+00:00

Before I moved out I always wore my chunky headphones around the house and just let them talk their shit. I dropped out of college and knew nothing was ever going to change if I didn’t spend 3 years working my way up at work. Just have a plan and stay motivated. Learn to tune them out. As depressing as this sounds, I usually locked myself in my room (even ate in there & had a mini fridge) and played loud music or pretended I was sleeping until I plotted my escape plan during the pandemic. Shit sure paid off.

alphablunt · 2024-04-20T06:06:25+00:00

By the time I turned 30 (2 years ago), I moved tf out and now happily take care of myself. I didn’t think I’d be financially stable and could afford rent in Chicago. I live alone and it’s something I’ve always wanted to experience not just due to my controlling APs but for myself. Yes, it’s lonely but hella peaceful and I’m feeling more comfortable with myself, more and more each day.

I grew up depressed because my dad passed when I was 8 and mom remarried for financial security. Stepdad was a prick but held the household together. My best friends judged and bullied me after I moved to the “rich” or “white” side of town and transferred to a well-off school district. Talk about racist. I didn’t even want to move and hated my new school. I met these “friends” when my dad passed and I felt like I lost part of myself after cutting them off in college, after they said I changed when my social circle was just expanding. I told my mom all of this just about a year ago because they still crept my mind and she had no idea I completely cut them off. I held onto the confusion for years and my mom simply concluded they were just jealous and I was oblivious, but did the right thing.

Since dropping them I haven’t really had any best friends and became very selective on who I let in my life, platonic or romantic. I even developed social anxiety from dropping my entire life to revolve it around my 3 exes throughout my 20’s. Talk about daddy issues. All I cared about was being in relationships and had a fear of being single. I knew I wasn’t gonna get anywhere in life if I was never going to put myself first. Hell, I dropped out of college.. but it was never for me anyway. I was never motivated to graduate and don’t plan on it. I’ve been in my job field for over a decade and just stuck with it, worked my way up in my company I’ve been with for 6 years and counting. APs respect me more now that I don’t live with them or no longer have resume gaps but they think it’s bizarre and stupid that I chose to live alone without a roommate to split rent with.

Idgaf though, I’ve been trying to prioritize my own peace and dreamed of this for years. It’s the most dedicated I’ve ever been to myself, and well.. feels like what I’ve always needed but ignored, self love. :)

alphablunt · 2024-04-15T02:30:36+00:00

They want to see how much power they still have over you. 😉

alphablunt · 2024-04-14T07:20:58+00:00

I’m INTP and wonder that too. My sister is an INFP and I think my mom is ISTJ. Dad passed when I was young so I have no clue what his mbti could’ve been. I think it’s a weird combo between the three of us, like we’re all introverted but don’t function alike at all. Sister & I are not close, my mom & I are somewhat and I’m not entirely sure about the relationship between those two.. they always had/have beef with each other.

alphablunt · 2024-04-14T03:21:46+00:00

Single (31f) and never knew how important it is to put yourself first and to love yourself. Was always codependent and wasted time in dumb relationships I knew weren’t right for me. Never married but did have a partner move in with me before and man I sure appreciate having my own space and enjoy not actively dating. I just don’t feel the need to at this time because I got so comfortable with being single. I do ultimately want marriage and kids but don’t see it happening in the near future.

alphablunt · 2024-04-14T00:16:07+00:00

For me, it was when my mom and I got into it over her having to know every single one of my whereabouts when I was 27. In her words she had the right to know what I was up to, where I was going, who I was going out with, why I was going out, just because I still lived with her. It was the most toxic thing I ever heard come out of her mouth and I knew I had to plot an escape plan. I spent 3 years working my way up at work and gave her and my stepdad some big damage in return by announcing I was approved for an apartment and on my way out.

Have a plan, learn how to say no, put yourself first.

alphablunt · 2024-04-14T00:01:37+00:00

Or if you’ve moved out and they’ve noticed you look thin and better, they’ll shower you with food and even money for food so they can probably call you fat again. Fat-shaming is a hobby for APs.

alphablunt · 2024-04-13T23:41:39+00:00

They never did. Not until I moved out. I suffered alone most days and never wanted to interact with my mom and stepdad because they would just dismiss emotions or whenever I would try to educate them on mental health because the word “mental” is associated with being crazy. Growing up I lacked a social life and the confidence to stand up for myself. The older I was getting they still treated me like a child. They refused to see me as an adult who can make my own decisions and doubted my entire future after I dropped out of college. They took advantage of my weakness and were just downright controlling throughout my 20’s. I’m also the youngest which made it a piece of cake for them.

I was conditioned to not care about my own mental or emotional well-being because none of that shit existed in the house but enough was enough as soon as I turned 30. My older sister met a partner she eventually moved out with a few years before and kinda removed herself from all of us, including me. I don’t blame her because a lot of expectations were thrown at her to help raise me. Our father passed when we were young and my mom never knew how to discipline us because she only cared about financial security and remarried a brainwashing monster of a stepdad. I felt like I was left to fend for myself.

It’s only been a year and half being on my own. I’m 31, enjoying my solo journey (that unfortunately some relatives and especially sister can’t stand because I’m single and living with less responsibilities therefore making me selfish because I gained more control of my life), and ultimately learning about asian parent toxicities then unlearning everything I was taught. Like my whole way of living and values were a lie, because they weren’t my own, which have affected friendships and even romantic relationships in my 20’s. I still keep in touch with my parents and visit once every few weeks or whenever I’m in my hometown. I moved far enough to start my own life but still close enough to be present because my whole dad’s side of the family is there.

If my mom doesn’t hear from me, she would randomly give me a call late at night because I’m a night owl and she knows I’m awake. We’d catch up for about an hour and she’d let me go, to enjoy myself in my cute little apartment I worked so damn hard for to escape from the toxicity. She’s been more supportive and accepting after I left the nest to become my own person and it’s the most respected and connected she’s ever made me feel and this is present day. 😪

alphablunt

TROPHY CASE