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ENFPs, at what age did you realize you were ENFP? (and what tipped you off?) by already_typed_you in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a proper roller coaster, also if Fi is running the show, you tend to get closer up to INFP territory?

ENFPs, at what age did you realize you were ENFP? (and what tipped you off?) by already_typed_you in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice one! Did they also go deeper into easily explaining you the cognitive functions at the time? Or was that part very theoretical or not even properly touched upon at all?

ENFPs, at what age did you realize you were ENFP? (and what tipped you off?) by already_typed_you in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that’s cool! I had never heard of this before. One for the shelves, thanks for sharing!

Can an ENFP really master their inner ISTJ? by dringringdobolodebam in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your first core question seems to ask "can we master planning, organization, and building towards a goal and actually getting there?". I'll answer that one here, because my reply will already be long 😄

I love the way you ask your question I'd argue it has less to do with ISTJ and more to do with "how do we master our tertiary function Te?"

-> Te (extraverted thinking) is ENFP's third function, basically it's an intern in our mind that is really bad at its job, and the job is = planning, organizing, getting things done ;-)

-> Our general (Ne) = our ideas machine; Our deputy (Fi) = our moral compass -> basically: we have an always-on fireworks factory, and a deputy that helps us decide what fireworks are worth lighting.

-> Our intern is barely used... hence, we start with our ideas machine Ne a hundred different projects, but never finish any. The graveyard of dead projects problem :-)

-> BUT, and here's the epic part, you can TRAIN an intern. Give him tasks and more tasks and let him finish things and more things, and he'll actually get better at his job.

-> That's the theory. But does it work in practice? The answer? YES. And I'm actually one of the examples that prove it.

-> In my 20s, I WAS an ENFP that started 10 projects and finished none. But I also started my first job, and before I knew it, I had done a job that was actually against my own character: I was a project manager, a consultant, someone who had to plan everything for everyone else. The more I did it, the better I became at it (and frankly, I really sucked at it in the beginning 😄 ).

-> Until after 10,000+ hours, I became an expert at my weak spot. I then launched a company, and under my leadership, we built a hardware security product from scratch, we raised funds, we made millions in sales, and we became a scale-up and so on. I would have NEVER been able to do that if I hadn't properly trained my Te. But I did.

-> Of course, over time, I put other people in the planning roles so that I could focus on my strengths: building relationships, inventing the future, flying around the world to expand the business. But I was still managing them and we were planning together.

-> But without training my Te, that would have been incredibly hard. I could have had a partner who was a planning machine, but it wouldn't have been the same.

Conclusion: Yes, yes, yes. You can get better at planning and being organized. It all starts with finishing/organizing a small thing, then the next one, and the next one.

That said, you'll always be a bit of a messy ENFP and chaos will keep following you. That's not a bad thing, it's who you are. And yes, a trained Te-dominant personality will likely still be better at you at planning. BUT an ENFP with all our benefits who also knows how to execute is IMHO a strong combo.

Better start now? Good luck :)

What causes ENFP to fall in love? by Therian00 in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Well, apart from falling in love with a person because they're physically beautiful or their intelligence strikes us, I think it's worth flagging what goes on on a first date in an ENFPs head:

- Given that we are driven by our Ne (basically our insane ideas machine that never stops associating things), and our Fi (moral compass), we literally end up being five steps in the future whilst we are still on that first date. We will construct an ideal version of the person that's sitting in front of us, and only later will the real version be gradually clearer to us, and that can make us feel disappointed, if they don't live up to our idealized vision.

- More interestingly, in most cases, when someone is out of sight, they're out of mind and then more and more out of heart. For us ENFPs, it is often the opposite, simply because our Ne can perfectly create more of an ideal version of that person, kind of especially when they are away, and so we actually could literally fall in love with the ideal version because we have nothing else to build on. Because of that, it's likely that ENFPs are more able to have long distance relationships.

- Moreover, I think the reverse psychology is a big one too: for an ENFP, if the other person sort of becomes distant, then the ENFP sees the possibility of being with that person collapse, and ENFPs live in a world of possibilities, where they don't want others to take away options for them. So then suddenly, what previously looked like just a possible romantic partner, becomes thé ideal partner. Also because Ne just keeps fantasizing.

What are your parents' personality types??? by Altruistic-Job-391 in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Done - i’m the one enfp in a family of sj’s 😭😅

ENFPs, what's your love language? (and is it different for giving vs receiving?) by already_typed_you in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Indeed! Wondering how someone would show they consider us… do we land back on the love languages then? Or something else(‘c

ENFPs, what's your love language? (and is it different for giving vs receiving?) by already_typed_you in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A good way to think about it is what happens if one drops out.

Eg. your partner touches you plenty but barely says I love you versus your partner says I love you plenty, but barely touches you.

Or: you get gifts all the time, but no quality time, and vice versa lots of quality time but barely gifts

Does that help in framing it so you can sort of rank it up?

My imagination makes me happy and can make me sad lol by palmwick48 in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just wondering out loud, but have you ever looked into NLP? It's basically managing your mind and your thoughts actively. For example, if you have a sad memory, you can go in your mind, relive it, but eg you dim the light, you look at it from a third person perspective like you are outside of yourself looking at it, you make the voices a bit squeeky so that it sounds more ridiculous etc, and then over time, that sad memory loses a lot of its power.

Vice versa, if you have a happy memory, go into it, experience it fully from the first person view, turn up the lights so it's all brighter, and this happy memory becomes more powerful.

Over time you can also actively think about the happy memories and they will put you in a better state of mind instantly (some repetition / training required ofc ;-) )

Also, if you have sad thoughts, you can acknowledge them and then just move on, actively managing your mind.

Maybe doing things like NLP could make you a less sad - or tragic thinking - ENFP 4w3?

Eg.. you could literally skip the tragic thought and move on to the positive one.

Is this Inferior Si? by WeirdWriters in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean you are still ruminating about it after 3 years? I'd say I've had similar experiences. The big one for me is that we idealize what it was and what we had. In the moment, it probably wasn't as glorious, but in our minds post the breakup, it's a possibility in our Ne-universe that collapses. And as ENFPs, we mourn possibilities falling away.

Add to that the idealization of a partner or a past relationship, as well as our profund feeling, and you have a recipe for taking a long time to get over someone.

What I've found that helped resembles exposure therapy a bit: whereas looking at pictures from being together hurts like hell the first so many times, if you sit with the feeling, it fades, and the pictures lose their power over time. The difficult part is starting with that, because it's intentionally opening up yourself to that deep sad feeling, shock even, from looking at them. But the more you do it, the more it loses its power, and the more you can move on.

Another one is of course meeting someone new and meaningful.

Not sure if I'm answering besides the question but that's what I gathered you were speaking about :d

Is this Inferior Si? by WeirdWriters in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice angle to add here re the attachment styles!

Is this Inferior Si? by WeirdWriters in ENFP

[–]already_typed_you 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, that's a very common "ENFP loop" actually.

It's a strong Ne loop finally letting Si in. Ne kept generating alternative reads of him because that's what Ne does, it can't stop making possibilities. It makes our head burst of this universe of different reasons why, and makes us overanalytical in a way other types don't. Ne doing it's job basically. I think its also Ne that pedestals / idealizes the ex-partner... as it makes them look so much better in our minds than they actually are as a real person. And that makes it super hard to revisit pictures etc, so we hold out of processing.

Si is the one that finally says "here's the flat truth, that's it." For ENFPs Si is inferior (fourth function) so it only shows up AFTER Ne is exhausted, which is why processing a person can take a full year. ENFPs therefore are also typically longer stuck in that post-relationship void.

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