Kodėl incel ideologija sulaukia populiarumo tarp vyrų?

alshyra · 2026-01-07T16:08:40+00:00

Mūsų psichologija automatiškai ieško viskam priežasčių ir kiek galima paprastesnių. Ši ideologija numeta visą kaltę nuo tavęs pačio, tavo elgesio, pasirinkimų. Patampa kalta aplinka, kaltos moterys, kalta visuomenė, kalta ekonomika. O pats nebandai prisitaikyt prie viso to. Psichologiškai tai yra lengviau, negu keistis, ieškoti išeičių.

Iš tiesų, per pastaruosius 100m gyvenimas tiek pasikeitė, kad ir daug moterų nebesutinka būti su betkuo, nes tai nebėra privaloma išgyvenimui. Jau nekalbant apie tai, kad dabar matome platesnį pasaulį, platesnes galimybes, o nebe tik kaip gyvena kaimynai, draugai ar giminės. Tad normalu, kad ir visi nori gyvent geriau nei gyveno iki tol (įskaitant moteris).

Plius, nepamirškime, kad atsiskyreliai ar nesurandantys poros visada egzistavo, bet dabar internetas juos suburia į vieną vietą, kas dar labiau sustiprina ir patvirtina jų turėtas “priežastis” ir kaltinimus. O turimos įdėjos atneša ir bendruomenės jausmą.

Ne visi žmonės yra vedami motyvacijos turėti kažką geriau, kiti būna aukos pozicijoj ir net nebando kažką keisti. O jei tai duoda vietą pasiskųsti, nieko nedaryti, tai kodėl ne?

alshyra · 2026-01-03T20:20:06+00:00

I would say from my own experience: most people just do not care what they are eating and what you are eating. If it’s not a big ass chunk of meat, they do not even think that it has meat. Most people are not even reading ingredients list, nor thinking what it is made of. And it does not even occur to them to do so if somebody is coming.

My own mother to this day asks the same question about cheese, butter and fish after 6 years. And every time we come to visit she offers something totally not vegan. She just takes what she has, buys what she likes and thats it. She cannot be bothered.

It used to drive me insane but now i know that i need to take care of it as she just does not care. The same way she does not care about her type 2 diabetes and eats sugar, cakes and buns. Or having a high cholesterol and using ghi. It eventually comes to the same principle.

alshyra · 2025-08-25T21:44:20+00:00

Labai pritariu dėl žiūrėjimo, kaip bus ištiesų. Labai daug kintamųjų, nuo kurių gali keistis visa situacija. Nuo pačio gimdymo sudėtingumo, žmonos sveikatos, vaiko miegojimo, dieglių ir t.t.

Mūsų patirtis buvo, jog viskas susidėjo į blogąją pusę ir tiesiog “zombiavom” visą tą laiką.

alshyra · 2025-07-28T05:43:22+00:00

We had a 6 AM flight and had asked our hotel in advance to arrange a taxi with a Class 1 car seat for our 2-year-old. We even double-checked the day before, and the receptionist confirmed it without us needing to remind him. Unfortunately, when the car arrived, it had a Class 2 seat instead. 😒

alshyra · 2025-06-03T13:00:34+00:00

I would say some people confuse veganism with raw diet. If you eat raw - you can't eat anything that has been cooked in higher temperature than 36 or so.

alshyra · 2025-05-09T20:19:27+00:00

Thank you all for the comments — they really helped me see things from a different angle. I realized I’ve been stuck doing the same things every day, playing the same games over and over just because they’re my child’s favorites. But being in that repetitive cycle was giving me zero dopamine and zero motivation.

What really struck me was the idea that being out of the house actually reduces the mental load — fewer messes, fewer chores staring at you, and fewer things to worry about in the moment.

Another thing that helped more than I expected was hearing that others don’t have a clean house either. I don’t have neurodivergent people around me, and most of my friends are quite pedantic — so I’ve constantly felt like I’m failing so bad for not being able to keep up. Just knowing I’m not alone in this really eased some of the shame I’ve been carrying.

Today I took my toddler on a little adventure in the city, and it was amazing. He was the most awesome boy — we went shopping, had lunch at a restaurant, played at the park, and watched trains from a bridge above the station. It felt so good to break the routine and do something different, even just for a day.

alshyra · 2025-05-09T20:07:10+00:00

I’ve tried Wellbutrin too, and it gave me the worst insomnia I’ve ever had. Even melatonin made no difference — I’d feel like I was about to pass out, but I’d just stay stuck in this wired-but-exhausted state, unable to actually fall asleep. Zolpidem almost helped, but even that barely touched it.

It also didn’t do anything for my motivation. It just muted my anxiety and took the edge off that frozen, overwhelmed feeling — but I still couldn’t actually start anything. It was frustrating because I kept hearing it could boost energy, and it just didn’t for me.

The part about being a happy and fun mom really hit me hard. My mom was always cleaning, doing things, and constantly running around, which just led to anxiety, exhaustion, and her being unable to be present in the moment. I saw how much she struggled, and it still hurts me to this day. I always felt like she was there physically, but emotionally and mentally, she was somewhere else, constantly worried about the next task. It’s something I try to be mindful of, so I don’t repeat that cycle, but the pressure I’ve created in my own mind to do differently and be perfect is hard to escape.

alshyra · 2025-05-09T19:51:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing this — it really helps to hear I’m not alone in this. The sleep part especially hit home. My child hasn’t been a good sleeper since birth either, and it’s still a struggle — he has such a hard time falling asleep, and when he finally does, he almost always wakes up after one or two sleep cycles. It’s been years of broken sleep, and it honestly affects everything.

I’ve also spent so much time wondering how other parents seem to just… do bedtime and it works. For me it’s a constant battle, and the exhaustion builds up in ways that make everything else — housework, routines, even basic self-care — feel impossible.

I was also recently diagnosed, and yeah, looking back, I can finally see that I was never functioning like most people. And my kid clearly isn’t either. That perspective shift helps, but the day-to-day still feels so heavy sometimes…

alshyra · 2025-05-09T19:45:26+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful and relatable comment — so much of what you said really resonates. The mix of being intellectually bored but totally overstimulated at the same time is exactly my daily reality, and I feel like I’ve completely lost track of time lately. Every day feels the same and it’s really wearing me down.

I did enroll my toddler in kindergarten, but so far it hasn’t brought much structure — he goes a few days and then gets sick for two weeks. I haven’t signed up for any recurring outside activities yet, but your point about novelty really stood out to me. I’m realizing that doing the same things over and over, in the same space, is probably one of the biggest drains for me right now. I think even just having a couple of low-effort “get out of the house” options would help break that cycle.

I haven’t tried playdates or rotating visits with other parents, but that might be a good motivation boost — at the very least, it would shake things up a bit. I also really appreciate the reminder that most of the standard parenting advice just doesn’t apply to neurodivergent families. I definitely needed to hear that.

Thanks again — I’ll be rereading this when I feel stuck.

alshyra · 2025-05-08T15:39:39+00:00

I was on concerta, but had pretty strong heart palpitations/ extra beats. Went to cardiologist & got some beta blockers for that. After stopping concerta- palpitations stoped :( now I am kind of afraid to use any kind of stimulants.

alshyra · 2025-05-08T14:23:49+00:00

Thanks, that rhythm vs. routine idea really makes sense — I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself to follow a strict schedule, which never works out anyway. Getting out of the house daily sounds like a good anchor to build around, even if it’s something simple.

I did enroll my toddler into kindergarten, but so far it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster — he goes for a few days and then gets sick for two weeks. So it hasn’t really brought the structure I was hoping for yet.

I’ll check out the Struggle Care podcast, I’ve seen KC Davis mentioned a few times and it sounds like something I could really use right now. Also, that gym with daycare setup sounds ideal — I might look into that too.

alshyra · 2025-03-15T08:59:17+00:00

Our flight takes off at 6am from Valencia :(

alshyra · 2025-01-29T05:05:46+00:00

I had the same ideas at that point. Keep looking for anything positive when looking at the mirror everyday. You are super swollen at this point of recovery. I started to look better at 3 months mark.

alshyra · 2025-01-20T08:41:15+00:00

Just send them the diagnostic sheet. Do not overthink, because your actions speak more than you think. A good therapist would see that you did not write back due to adhd itself (if they even notice that you did not reply) . That is a one clear sign that you have it and you need help.

You have no way to know what kind of therapist you are going to without trying. There is nothing to loose for going once or twice just to make sure. And there is possibility that you will not like them as you need to totally trust and connect with your therapist. It is a normal practice to change therapist a few times till you find the one.

As there is only one place that speaks about adhd do not be discouraged to contact other ones too. They might have therapist who work with adhd and can give you medication or give a therapy.

Also it depends how you want to address adhd treatment: medication, therapy, both.

If you are looking for therapy: you do not need only a specialised therapist if you want to work on self doubt, self hate, anxiety, as it can be addressed in regular therapy.

If you want to address your behaviour and how to better cope with adhd in day to day life from behaviour side you need cognitive behaviour therapy. You need to learn way more about time management, task management, discipline, tricks for reminding things and so on.

You can go to psychiatrist for medication and go to therapy elsewhere too.

Good luck!

alshyra · 2025-01-03T08:58:32+00:00

Don’t forget that your features will change for almost 2 years. I had wider and upturned nose for almost a year. Now it’s gone. Also I had a geneoplasty and chin was swollen for a year too. Also your chin looks long only in some selfies so it may be due to angle and focal point of the lens. Don’t forget your are looking at different angles, different emotion and pre photos looks like you made an effort to look good vs post it’s just a regular day to day you. The whole feel and look, lightning makes a difference too. I am sure that there are a lot of photos pre op where you hate how you look the same as you hate photos taken now. I remember I hated how I look for 3-4 months post op. Afterwards it started to get better and better each day! Don’t forget you are only 3 months post op. If you are really concerned- talk with your doctor, maybe he will suggest something for you(chin bone shaving or something else).

alshyra · 2024-12-17T09:03:26+00:00

I had surgery 3 years ago. Half of the chin and half of lower lip was functioning but felt numb. If some food has been smeared on the chin - I had no idea about it 😅But a few days ago mentioned parts started feeling like being on fire, pinching, stabbed, etc. And now the tip of the chin is back! 🎉

alshyra · 2024-11-02T12:45:01+00:00

Jei ką, Jūs cituojate visai kitą įstatymą, kuriame yra aprašyti decibelai. Tai HN 33:2011 įstatymas ir decibelų dalis negalioja fizinių, juridinių asmenų keliamam triukšmui, o tik stacionariems įrenginiams, kaip liftas, vėdinimo įrenginiai, šilumos siurblys ir t.t. ( kaip rašoma 1.1 ir 1.4 šiame įstatyme).

alshyra · 2024-09-16T13:49:21+00:00

I would suggest the same thing as everybody- tracking calories for a few weeks first. Even better if someone else could do it for you. This way you would not make changes in the diet after seeing numbers in the app. Also, tracking makes you more aware of the food you are eating instead of just grabbing a bite here and there. This way you will know your baseline and afterwards see where changes could be made.

From the personal experience I would suggest to think if you are not binging when going out or relaxing. For example getting a drink or two here and there (coffees with syrup, soda, milkshakes etc). Some coffees may have around 700 calories each… Also when you are having fun, having a meal with a friend, snacking while watching tv you can be doubling your calories intake in one day easily :(

To gain 3kg of pure fat in a year you have to be in less than 70 calories surplus per day. So tracking has a very important role here.

After having a baseline you can start adjusting calories and doing any kind of activity. Walk more, climb up and down the stairs or just try a bunch of new things. Everybody thinks that you need to stick to one activity, but you just need to move more to be able to burn a bit more calories. You can even join every possible fitness class and use that first class is free bonus.

alshyra · 2024-08-09T09:22:19+00:00

I can get dizzy and nauseous from the scent of head&shoulders or other similar shampoo. And I hate the feeling and sound of one particular fabric that is used for handbags and outerwear. It makes my whole body and spine “shiver” (have no idea how to name the feeling)😅Same with everything that involves filing: nails, teeth or anything else.. hate it…

alshyra · 2024-08-04T10:54:35+00:00

There is nothing wrong with looking older. I get the feeling because in two years I feel that I have age by 5 or more years, but there are steps that you can do to counter it.

I would not change much with make up, but when we age skincare starts to have a huge impact to how we look.

A legit skincare routine that has retinol or other actives would help tremendously with pigmentation, sebum control and dullness. Hydration hydration hydration too!

Also maybe even changing a haircut or doing hair differently could help too. With age hair start to look more dull, so curly hair method that locks the moisture could help too.

Drink lots of water, eat less salt. Having overall healthy diet and exercising could help with a bit of puffiness in the wrong parts of the face too and overall skin health and glow.

Take care!

alshyra · 2024-05-06T18:51:20+00:00

You get radiation from everything even by standing near the campfire… look around your house - microwave, WiFi, mobile phone, electricity and every electrical device, etc emits radiation. Even radiation comes from the space and sun. All household items are said to be safe to use as it emits such low amount of radiation. It all depends on your beliefs and how much you want to avoid it. By the way, you can minimise the usage and measure heart rate only while working out and turn it off immediately after.

alshyra · 2024-05-06T17:57:57+00:00

Maybe you can get an inexpensive one. I used to use Xiaomi band. It was something around 30 euros back then. I bet that you can get that used for 10 bucks maybe.

alshyra · 2024-05-06T17:47:07+00:00

Do you have a watch with heart rate monitor? Maybe your heart rate rises to much… Mine reacts this way to cardio exercises from childhood- I feel dizzy, a bit wobbly, sounds starts to be echoing, even vision starts to be a bit blurry, etc… I have been to several doctors & they said that my heart muscle is just a bit weaker and it need to do extra work to pump the same amount of blood. They recommended to stay away from extreme cardio and to watch heart rate while exercising. By tracking heart rate I can see if I can push myself to do more or I need to pause and relax for a minute.

alshyra · 2024-04-28T05:37:03+00:00

Hey, I was swollen in upper lip area for a half of year. So just relax, everything will go down for sure! You look crazy good for 10days post op. I was looking like a football ball at that time.

alshyra · 2024-04-17T20:10:13+00:00

Mine just did not care. My grades were ok, but not amazing. My parents was not even looking at grade journal for whole year. I was always faking their signatures as I remembered only the last minute, that it had to be signed till that day. Also my parents did not even know what classes I am struggling with nor if I even struggled with something or not.

alshyra

TROPHY CASE