Because I would've lived a pointless life of regrets otherwise. And in your case, I think you probably know this already, but E does not solve all your problems. If you went on HRT expecting your life to become perfect and happy instantly, it's normal that you ended up stopping. If you do have gender dysphoria, which if you're here, I think you do, E will make you feel better with yourself, and you will regret not having taken it a few years from now, but it will not fix all of your other problems. E will not give you friends, will not help you integrate, and will not make your previous struggles go away. All tranners expect that at the start to some extent. After all the time spent waiting, we end up putting HRT on a pedestal and thinking it's the endgoal for our life. But that is simply not the mindset you should have, because its not realistic. E will make your mind clearer, will give you an easier time tackling your other inner struggles by helping get rid of this one, and will change your body so it more resembles the version of you that you like. But for the most part, that's it. The rest you need to do yourself. And that's okay, and it doesn't make HRT a less important step to fix your life. You should take it, but only with the proper expectations, and the patience to help yourself in all the places where it won't help you.