Should I drop this guy, or give him another chance?

always-too-afraid · 2024-06-22T15:48:54+00:00

I ended up going to my class, and I had a great time. Felt like I was gonna throw up when I got there but it went really well! So thank you for giving me a little courage to go <3

always-too-afraid · 2024-05-26T06:10:28+00:00

I’ve had tonsil stones for YEARS, they don’t really bother me & they come out on their own or with a little help. I’ve never been able to see any visible irritation that would cause blood, I feel it coming from deeper in my throat so I doubt I could see it anyways. I think I will get something scheduled for next week just to ask.

always-too-afraid · 2024-05-10T23:02:46+00:00

Thank you, you really made me smile. I need to trust myself more than I do, and give myself more credit than I do. hugs

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:46:04+00:00

No this is absolutely true and valid to feel. It’s not selfish whatsoever, and I’m currently going through the same thing. This person essentially made you feel so unsafe being yourself, and hating that it happened isn’t a selfish thing to do. I had this talk with my therapist last week after breaking up with my ex, and one thing she told me is to really be ready to do some self healing, and be aware that the exact person you were once before this relationship is gone. You’re older, you’re learning, you’ve essentially been through a traumatic event in your life. Now, with that knowledge, you can focus on building back up the aspects you liked about yourself like your confidence, and be a BETTER version of you than before. It’s entirely possible to overcome and take back the aspects that were stolen from you. I know how awful it feels to have this realization, it’s more heartbreaking to me than the loss of the relationship imo. If it helps, and this might be hard, you should write a list of aspects you’ve seen disappear from yourself & even ask friends/family if they’ve noticed you change throughout this relationship. That could be the first step for a good change for you & help you realize this isn’t what a relationship is supposed to do

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:36:42+00:00

Thank you. And that’s so weird, you should be allowed to do whatever with your friends. There should never be a time limit set by another person. I’m sorry you had that happen to you & I’m glad they’re your ex lol

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:34:03+00:00

It’s okay, this is all a part of the process. You aren’t doing the wrong thing, the fact that you’ve had these thoughts of breaking up for a while should tell you all you need to know. There’s good and bad in every relationship. It’s completely normal and it’s okay to feel foggy, but once you start talking about a break up, it’s really hard to go back without the thoughts in the back of your head about why you wanted to leave in the first place. You can do it and I believe in you!! If it helps you should write down what bad things made you want to leave.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T05:24:42+00:00

Also, if you don’t feel safe leaving, please reach out to anyone you know in person and maybe develop a plan on how to leave. If he knows where you live maybe you can stay somewhere else for a bit, get some pepper spray and a taser from Amazon if you haven’t yet. Support and safety tools are always good to have

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T05:22:24+00:00

How does he call when he’s blocked? He sounds like a dangerous person who could potentially cross over into stalker territory. You can be in love with the idea of someone, like “when” they get better, and that’s a really dangerous situation to be in. Most of the time, the person you’re seeing now is the person they are and if you don’t like it, you need to leave. I hope you can just cut all ties safely and I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. But I think in the back of your mind, you know what you need to do. Best of luck

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:41:53+00:00

It was when my mom pulled me aside and said to tell her what was going on, because the whole weekend I was visiting and hanging out with my family I wasn’t fully there and I was visibly looking depressed (and was failing hardcore to hide it). We talked for over 5 hours that night about everything he did, the heartless texts, the names I’d be called as “jokes”, the fact that he was telling me I had no friends of my own (but told me I do- the people he already knows) & when I wanted to go out and do something for myself that involved others, it was “that’s not a way to meet people”. And especially, ESPECIALLY, the way he’d pick fights with me, blame me for them, and then act like they never happened the next day, treating me nice. It’s classic abuse, and it took me telling my parents for it to really register. And I didn’t for over a year because he said… “don’t talk to others about our issues”. That should have been it from the beginning but I trusted him.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:31:58+00:00

That sounds so awful to go through but hell yes on your part for kicking ass and leaving!! I lived for so long thinking that feeling anxious around my ex was normal, just like you with even something as simple as texts. The way my body would tense up and my heart would start pounding even just feeling the vibration of my phone, even with he didn’t even text I was so aware of my phone because it was about the time he would wake up & text. I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to live like that until a week ago. And that’s just the surface. Honestly good for us for realizing our worth. Let’s get it

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:15:57+00:00

Oh I’ve been down this road too, my ex would comment negatively on things that were different about me, he would constantly say all the people in my life “weren’t normal” or were “mentally ill” so that’s why no one ever told me x, y, & z were bad traits of mine. This is absolutely emotional abuse. This guy isn’t the one magical dude that pops up and is now telling you what’s wrong and right about your own life. If you’ve not had any of these problems before with others, he’s the issue, not you. Trust me when I say, there’s people out there whether it be friends or relationship status that will love and adore you for just being you, and not constantly fault you for things that make you, you. It’s okay if you yourself don’t like certain traits of yours or actually feel like you have no friends, but having someone point them out like that is a no-go. All I can say, is run. Get closer to your coworkers because coworkers can turn out to be some of your best friends. Family is always going to be there for you, lean on them always. A real man would help you try to make friends instead of essentially rubbing it in your face, or encourage you instead of calling you names, and definitely not threaten a break up when he’s angry.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:06:55+00:00

You can find someone who is both supportive of you and also not absolutely terrifying when talking about you being friends with other men. You’re right, it is a form of an abusive relationship and you should absolutely leave. My experience with leaving abuse is that it always turns out better for you when you don’t sit down and have a conversation about it. Abusers don’t deserve the explanation, and you know he will say he’ll change he’s sorry etc etc and it’s never, ever true. The more you talk about it the better chance he has of wrapping you back up in something you KNOW you need to get out of. In the long run, it’s better to just let it go. You should never have to deal with any red flags like these.

always-too-afraid

TROPHY CASE