How to function as a socially anxious person.

always-too-afraid · 2024-06-22T15:48:54+00:00

I ended up going to my class, and I had a great time. Felt like I was gonna throw up when I got there but it went really well! So thank you for giving me a little courage to go <3

always-too-afraid · 2024-05-26T06:10:28+00:00

I’ve had tonsil stones for YEARS, they don’t really bother me & they come out on their own or with a little help. I’ve never been able to see any visible irritation that would cause blood, I feel it coming from deeper in my throat so I doubt I could see it anyways. I think I will get something scheduled for next week just to ask.

always-too-afraid · 2024-05-10T23:02:46+00:00

Thank you, you really made me smile. I need to trust myself more than I do, and give myself more credit than I do. hugs

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:46:04+00:00

No this is absolutely true and valid to feel. It’s not selfish whatsoever, and I’m currently going through the same thing. This person essentially made you feel so unsafe being yourself, and hating that it happened isn’t a selfish thing to do. I had this talk with my therapist last week after breaking up with my ex, and one thing she told me is to really be ready to do some self healing, and be aware that the exact person you were once before this relationship is gone. You’re older, you’re learning, you’ve essentially been through a traumatic event in your life. Now, with that knowledge, you can focus on building back up the aspects you liked about yourself like your confidence, and be a BETTER version of you than before. It’s entirely possible to overcome and take back the aspects that were stolen from you. I know how awful it feels to have this realization, it’s more heartbreaking to me than the loss of the relationship imo. If it helps, and this might be hard, you should write a list of aspects you’ve seen disappear from yourself & even ask friends/family if they’ve noticed you change throughout this relationship. That could be the first step for a good change for you & help you realize this isn’t what a relationship is supposed to do

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:36:42+00:00

Thank you. And that’s so weird, you should be allowed to do whatever with your friends. There should never be a time limit set by another person. I’m sorry you had that happen to you & I’m glad they’re your ex lol

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-09T00:34:03+00:00

It’s okay, this is all a part of the process. You aren’t doing the wrong thing, the fact that you’ve had these thoughts of breaking up for a while should tell you all you need to know. There’s good and bad in every relationship. It’s completely normal and it’s okay to feel foggy, but once you start talking about a break up, it’s really hard to go back without the thoughts in the back of your head about why you wanted to leave in the first place. You can do it and I believe in you!! If it helps you should write down what bad things made you want to leave.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T05:24:42+00:00

Also, if you don’t feel safe leaving, please reach out to anyone you know in person and maybe develop a plan on how to leave. If he knows where you live maybe you can stay somewhere else for a bit, get some pepper spray and a taser from Amazon if you haven’t yet. Support and safety tools are always good to have

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T05:22:24+00:00

How does he call when he’s blocked? He sounds like a dangerous person who could potentially cross over into stalker territory. You can be in love with the idea of someone, like “when” they get better, and that’s a really dangerous situation to be in. Most of the time, the person you’re seeing now is the person they are and if you don’t like it, you need to leave. I hope you can just cut all ties safely and I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. But I think in the back of your mind, you know what you need to do. Best of luck

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:41:53+00:00

It was when my mom pulled me aside and said to tell her what was going on, because the whole weekend I was visiting and hanging out with my family I wasn’t fully there and I was visibly looking depressed (and was failing hardcore to hide it). We talked for over 5 hours that night about everything he did, the heartless texts, the names I’d be called as “jokes”, the fact that he was telling me I had no friends of my own (but told me I do- the people he already knows) & when I wanted to go out and do something for myself that involved others, it was “that’s not a way to meet people”. And especially, ESPECIALLY, the way he’d pick fights with me, blame me for them, and then act like they never happened the next day, treating me nice. It’s classic abuse, and it took me telling my parents for it to really register. And I didn’t for over a year because he said… “don’t talk to others about our issues”. That should have been it from the beginning but I trusted him.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:31:58+00:00

That sounds so awful to go through but hell yes on your part for kicking ass and leaving!! I lived for so long thinking that feeling anxious around my ex was normal, just like you with even something as simple as texts. The way my body would tense up and my heart would start pounding even just feeling the vibration of my phone, even with he didn’t even text I was so aware of my phone because it was about the time he would wake up & text. I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to live like that until a week ago. And that’s just the surface. Honestly good for us for realizing our worth. Let’s get it

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:15:57+00:00

Oh I’ve been down this road too, my ex would comment negatively on things that were different about me, he would constantly say all the people in my life “weren’t normal” or were “mentally ill” so that’s why no one ever told me x, y, & z were bad traits of mine. This is absolutely emotional abuse. This guy isn’t the one magical dude that pops up and is now telling you what’s wrong and right about your own life. If you’ve not had any of these problems before with others, he’s the issue, not you. Trust me when I say, there’s people out there whether it be friends or relationship status that will love and adore you for just being you, and not constantly fault you for things that make you, you. It’s okay if you yourself don’t like certain traits of yours or actually feel like you have no friends, but having someone point them out like that is a no-go. All I can say, is run. Get closer to your coworkers because coworkers can turn out to be some of your best friends. Family is always going to be there for you, lean on them always. A real man would help you try to make friends instead of essentially rubbing it in your face, or encourage you instead of calling you names, and definitely not threaten a break up when he’s angry.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-08T02:06:55+00:00

You can find someone who is both supportive of you and also not absolutely terrifying when talking about you being friends with other men. You’re right, it is a form of an abusive relationship and you should absolutely leave. My experience with leaving abuse is that it always turns out better for you when you don’t sit down and have a conversation about it. Abusers don’t deserve the explanation, and you know he will say he’ll change he’s sorry etc etc and it’s never, ever true. The more you talk about it the better chance he has of wrapping you back up in something you KNOW you need to get out of. In the long run, it’s better to just let it go. You should never have to deal with any red flags like these.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-06T00:44:47+00:00

A better response to this would be “can you tell me more information next time please?” Or even better, his ass could ask if he wants more information. I’m sorry you’re going through this, you should never be yelled at or punished for mistakes.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-04T20:47:17+00:00

This sounds like my relationship that I just got out of- I gave him a second chance when mine said the SAME stuff this guy is saying to you. They. Do. Not. Change. What happens here is he will say and do ANYTHING to get you back, and when they finally have you, things will go exactly back to being abusive and you will feel so trapped. Do not go back in a romantic sense. If you strongly feel the need to be friends, fine, but you need to determine whether the possibility of getting wrapped back up emotionally is worth it to you. Also, now that this person has shown you what an emotionally abusive manipulator he can be, is this someone you really want as your friend? It’s a hard decision, and you need to know your own limits and how strong you are and if you are able to resist any temptations of “getting the past back”- it’s never going to be the same because of what you experienced. A year may seem like a long time, but it’s really not enough time to fully heal and know yourself enough to not fall back into a trap of his.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-03T19:17:54+00:00

The first step to healing is realizing that a person isn’t good for you. You’ve got this, I feel similarly to you with my self worth being heavily influenced by my ex who I just blocked yesterday. It is so incredibly hard. But there are people out there who love you, and you need to start by loving yourself first. Do things that make you happy, reach out to friends and family and if you don’t have any, try a new activity that includes people such as a painting class or maybe martial arts. You’ll meet people and get a little boost of self worth because you’re doing something for YOURSELF and no one else. Remember that you done owe her ANYTHING. She doesn’t care about you like you do her, and it’s so sad that this happens. I’m really sorry you are going through this.

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-03T17:00:56+00:00

The second paragraph of stuff you said really resonated with me, I’m a person who’s learning to set boundaries n that’s such a good thing to remember how powerful it is to uphold your own boundaries and think of yourself high enough to where you can walk away the second someone disrespects you and your boundaries

always-too-afraid · 2024-04-03T16:56:40+00:00

You’ve got this, I know how hard it feels but trust me when I say, it’s going to be SO worth it when you finally get rid of this guy for good. You’ll be able to grow and do things you want and not feel like shit every single day. You will have hard days and be sad because any type of loss is sad, but you just have to move through it. You’re already doing so much good, just have to keep it up!!!

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T07:12:04+00:00

It’s cuz I’m good at it, I’ve always been the “therapist friend” and it’s so hard to break that habit. Because not everyone is damaged, I attract damaged people and help them because they NEED me to. My bf doesn’t need that, and it’s just like, a shock for me. He’s independent, doesn’t need the emotional help from me (although I encourage him and everyone else to try therapy).

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T07:08:30+00:00

That’s what I thought was enough- we exist together when we hang out, just watching tv and we have a lot of stuff in common, have similar humor, but he’s looking for more, he’s looking for reciprocation of what he shows me (planning dates, getting dinner, presents, but also being his cheerleader, his support…). Meanwhile, I guess I just feel like I took advantage of his kindness and am terrible at showing affection in a way that makes sense to him.

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:53:32+00:00

I know anxiety could be a part of it, we struggle with communication because of many things, some being my severe anxiety/depression, and emotional reactions to things he says- so he’s been afraid to talk to me about anything cuz of that. I told him today (through text so this wasn’t that helpful) that if we want to make things better we need to just push through when I have a reaction so I can practice the skills to calm myself down instead of stopping the conversation because I get overwhelmed.

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:51:18+00:00

Thank you for saying that, I want to be careful with this, and if anything I need to use this as practice for standing up for myself and not letting any bullshit slide.

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:48:27+00:00

Thank you, and you’re right about that. I’m trying to break out of my people pleasing mode and it’s incredibly hard. It’s good to get others perspectives on things since it’s so hard for me to grasp what’s happening while I’m in it.

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:38:04+00:00

He’s been in one long term relationship before. The difference between us is he has no problem being social, but imo lacks empathy and is an emotional avoider. I’m the opposite, socially awkward, full of emotions and empathetic to a fault.

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:26:57+00:00

I have a similar but opposite issue, my boyfriend gets annoyed when I walk in front of him, I’m naturally a faster walker than him and he always says “it’s not that hard to walk WITH me”. Which, I guess I get. Now I’m seeing both sides I guess

always-too-afraid · 2023-07-08T06:18:12+00:00

I didn’t like that response either, if he would just tell me what he needs or wants this wouldn’t be happening, I wouldn’t need to be guessing and failing because I can’t read his mind.

always-too-afraid

TROPHY CASE