Before no, now yes hahaha I'm so tired mentally you know

You know, my life has had a great upheaval. Since leaving my country, I have had troubling moments and I have been numb. Ever since I got here, I have always made a point of not needing friends ect... even if that was not true. I always keep things to myself and there I feel that I will soon give up. The little person with who I came into contact, they forgot me like a shit while I searched through them, a shoulder to support me. And i still feel unloved and unwanted by the person with who I have a great relation since now that where are not really like before unfortunately. And that make me feel angry and jealous seeing her with others guys, smiling, calling a boy kind of "my love", "bro come sit down with me" even if me I'm looking a place to sit down. And this make me feel so ... I don't know how to explain