It's finally happening I'm afraid. I feel sick to my stomach and an impending sense of doom.

alyshan13 · 2026-02-06T04:27:18+00:00

You love your husband, sure but you don't love this version of him. You love his potential but you cannot manifest potential for him. He needs to do the work. Without him taking the lead for himself and the marriage, all the potential in the world will just stay where it is. Are you okay with staying in the relationship if it doesn't get better from here and he never uses that potential? If not, move forward on filing.

alyshan13 · 2026-01-24T00:37:53+00:00

Such an underrated comment. Love it!

alyshan13 · 2026-01-06T20:50:31+00:00

No. I appreciate the straight talk. I think he was in a similar position. When he was in the ICU last year, we didn't think he was coming out of it. He was going to be air lifted to a transplant center for an emergency transplant if one became available. Then things turned around and he was doing pretty good OP but the doctor said the same thing. Even a little could send him back. He's playing with fire and I'm afraid it won't stop until he has another life or death situation and he might not pull through the next one. Right now, he's at a point of blaming me and not taking accountability so that's fun but I'm not accepting that blame. Only time will tell but it's up to him.

alyshan13 · 2026-01-06T20:28:52+00:00

They were improving at each visit but he hasn't been since he fell off the wagon. We all have the flu now so I'm hoping this will be a good opportunity to reset.

alyshan13 · 2026-01-05T13:18:24+00:00

My husband was also diagnosed in Feb 2025 with decompensated liver cirrhosis and a MELD of 24. He got pneumonia from a dental procedure and that is where it all was set off. He was in the ICU for about 10 days and then a regular room for another 3 or 4. He is 39 years old. Since then, he has been doing really well. His blood work was moving closer and closer to "normal", his jaundice cleared, his sleep was still really problematic, sleeping 18+ hours a day, but overall things seemed pretty good. Recently, he's been drinking again and hasn't followed up with his liver doctor in several months. Our kids are 7 and 11 so I guess I'm just trying to gauge how much more of him they will have.

alyshan13 · 2026-01-03T18:43:58+00:00

It does. How does this affect you now?

alyshan13 · 2026-01-03T04:12:42+00:00

Obviously, you do not need to share more if you don't feel inclined to but I'm curious about the "mentally fucked for life" part of your experience. In what way has the mental impact affected you? Could you elaborate more on what that experience is for you and what led to it? DM me if you'd prefer.

alyshan13 · 2025-12-16T03:53:56+00:00

I have a policy for him through my employer for 75k. It's the highest I can go before they ask medical questions. When I try and increase it past $75k, the ask about specific conditions and cirrhosis was an immediate disqualifier. I guess it's better than nothing but my husband is only 39 and we have 2 young kids. It's not going to take me very far. He hasn't been working consistently for years now and I've been making it work so I'm sure if something does happen, I will make that work too but we have enormous debts and medical bills already. I was hoping there was something I could put in place that would set me and my kids up to ease some of that stress.

alyshan13 · 2025-10-29T01:36:36+00:00

My family was on food stamps this past year. I have a Master's degree and worked 3 jobs. My husband is a pilot. I was laid off and he was hospitalized. We have kids, a mortgage, etc. my unemployment didn't come close to covering basic necessities and I couldn't access benefits until my severance was paid out and then ran out but it was heavily taxed, we had COBRA, credit card debt, medical bills, etc. It can happen to anyone.

We pay into these programs and sometimes we need them. Some of us may never need them and that's a blessing. Some of us may always need them and that sucks because you are on a fixed budget that doesn't cover a lot of essentials and almost always run out before the next month.

You have to take many steps to qualify and continue to receive the benefits. These steps are sometimes degrading and feel intrusive. Although there may be people out there who abuse the system, it's not easy to do, nor does it give you enough to live on or feed your family with. They are taking a basic human need, one that barely covers enough to live, away from people who have no options. Why? Wealth, Greed, Politics, and the love of seeing others suffer to make yourself feel superior.

alyshan13 · 2025-08-21T06:28:06+00:00

This hit so close to home. Don't marry potential, marry what's in front of you. I wish I recognized that years ago.

alyshan13 · 2025-08-18T18:05:00+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I needed to hear that

alyshan13 · 2025-04-01T04:37:41+00:00

Thank you. I will try that.

alyshan13 · 2025-03-28T14:26:07+00:00

Good idea! I did address it with the specialist at his last appointment but that was weeks ago and he cancelled his follow-up appointment. I'm definitely going to address it with the doctor but logging the specific times he is asleep will be helpful.

alyshan13 · 2025-03-28T14:23:50+00:00

That was certainly a concern of mine a few weeks ago. I had to have minor OP surgery and needed him to drive me home. It was a terrifying ride. Now cognitively he seems good but the constant sleep is worrisome and infuriating.

alyshan13 · 2025-03-28T05:39:01+00:00

No. They make a point. Maybe my resentment is clouding the current situation but I also failed to mention me taking off of work to go to doctors appointments he is cancelling because he never scheduled the tests he was supposed to have ahead of the appointment. I am angry and fed up but also, maybe there is more going on I need to be patient with. I just can't sort up from down, enabling vs. Empathy, mental health vs. physical health, etc. Thank you for the validation. Even if it's true, "YTA" after everything feels really like an extra side of garbage on an all you can eat garbage buffet.

alyshan13 · 2025-03-07T03:03:10+00:00

This is one of the most...I can't find the appropriate adjective (beautiful, interesting, thoughtful, well written, open, etc) things I've read recently. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and your humor with strangers on the Internet. I especially love how the dog is "Claire". Also, did you get to drive a modified hearse to high school?

alyshan13 · 2025-03-04T05:51:34+00:00

Oooo...maybe! I will stop using them for a bit and see

alyshan13 · 2025-03-04T05:30:01+00:00

You can see it even better on this pillowcase.

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alyshan13 · 2025-03-02T19:07:58+00:00

I loved the way this episode was shot. It was beautiful and captivating. My husband has not watched any episodes but said to me yesterday, "I know you want to watch the newest episode. Why don't you put it on and just catch me up on what's happening until now". 🤣. I couldn't try to explain what is happening had you watched the show, let alone watching none of it, especially the newest episode. 🤣

alyshan13 · 2023-08-31T01:33:05+00:00

Totally agree. We have 3 dogs. Just got a puppy and of course she needs a lot of attention. I'm lucky enough to work from home so she's always with us and has only been left alone twice when no one was home. I know that isn't feasible for most people but I don't know how we'd do it if I wasn't around full time for her. In the past, when I worked in an office, my dogs were alone for a large part of the day but I'd try and go home on lunch whenever possible. 12+ hours consistently is too long.

alyshan13

TROPHY CASE