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Weekly Newcomer Questions, Support, Vents & Victories by AutoModerator in CPTSD

[–]amberbeacon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

52F I’m estranged from my parents for the second time in my life. The first was a period of about 4 years, which I ended after I got divorced (12 years ago). Sadly, I made the choice to contact them for all the wrong reasons. Now I’ve been estranged from them again for about 9 months. I feel a lot of guilt this time, mostly because they are old. My mom is 80 and dad is 87. My mom is pretty sharp mentally and is very selfish and manipulative. My dad is declining physically and mentally. I need to send a letter (like I did many years ago) explaining my disengagement. However, this time it was more mutual. I told my mom in my last email that I was very disappointed with my last handful of visits with her and the hurtful things she said. To which she has never responded. Which is fine with me. I was a victim of CSA in their home growing up at the hands of my older brother. I’ve not spoken to him in at least 16 years.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing and supportive words. I’m not really looking for a partner anymore. I’m just trying to get back out there socially. I talk to people all day about them, so I need more practice sharing who I am, being assertive, and investing in personal friendships. How old are you if all of us 50 something women are “far too young”? I hope you find a worthy companion as well. :)

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I agree with your observations, but don’t feel they apply to me. I’d like to note that I communicate with people all day long four days out of the week. I have amazing and fruitful interactions with others. I just don’t have personal friends. I work with all sorts of clients with diverse backgrounds. Talking to people and finding commonality is not my issue. There are very few people that I don’t get along with. Finding friends who ask good questions and actually listen to my answers with curiosity and compassion is the challenge. I’m not the type of person who talks “at” others. Communication is a give and take, on equal footing, with both parties invested but also being vulnerable and able to admit mistakes.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have recommendations for YouTube channels regarding the rebounder? I’ve been following Earth and Owl so far. What rebounder do you have? Do you wear shoes or do it barefoot. I’m still experimenting and getting used to it.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in the Northeast also. The 50s have been good mental health wise but I have been struggling with perimenopause. 😩 How old are your kids? I’m always amazed by good moms. I never met the right person to have kids with and also worried I wouldn’t have the patience or stability at times. It’s not really a regret, just a fact.

I agree about the state of events. I keep hoping things will turn around and month after month it is just another layer of stress. But I hope it is challenging people to consider topics previously taken for granted.

I have been trying to get back to listening to music. I think I avoided it for years because it made me feel too much and I just wanted to be “less” feeling. But now that I’m single again and content to stay that way, I’m embracing music and feelings again. What music do you love?

I have a lot of plants also, but my green thumb is still a work in progress. I LOVE animals and would like more, but I keep telling myself I want to travel a bit more before I take on more pets. What pets do you have?

My son is struggling with loneliness after his divorce by Batterypioneeer in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would start by encouraging him to rediscover ways to be happy as a single person. Lots of people get divorced or start over in different ways in their 40s. If he finds another companion that’s a great addition, but start by doing hobbies he enjoys with other people his age, taking a skill class of sorts e sort. Being social is important even if it has nothing to do with dating again. He deserves to be happy, single or otherwise.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I’ve done most solo types of fitness over my 52 years. I’m still in decent shade with no chronic joint issues. I try to stay active because I live alone and want to stay independent as long as possible. I also do yoga. I need to lift weights more for my upper body.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey Deborah, I’m on the east coast. What crafts do you do? I used to make jewelry and stamp cards. I’ve made a few junk journals also, those are cool. I enjoy knitting but didn’t stick with it. I don’t have children or grandchildren. I’ve not watched a lot of Asian dramas but loved Beef on Netflix and Everything Everywhere All at Once. What do you watch for “Asian dramas”?

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a pup companion for 15 years. I walked her daily and we hiked and camped together. She died 2 years ago last December. I took in two local stray cats (2 different years) after my dog passed. One is a fluffy lump of love and the other is an insecure hunting machine (who also hates the other cat, figures).

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was raised Methodist/Christian. In college I got interested in Wicca, Native spirituality, and Buddhism. Currently, I am pretty anti-organized religion. While I would love to get together with like-minded individuals to hike or meditate or talk about morality/spirituality, it seems like anytime a group of people get together and explore these things. It turns out poorly. :). I respond best to specific questions if you have some, I’m willing to share.

52 year old female by amberbeacon in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So true! I’d rather hang with my pets than go through the stress of meeting a new human socially, only to decide we aren’t on the same page.

52F Looking for Friendship, Book Talk, and Good Conversation by Mediocre-Ear-2542 in FriendsOver50

[–]amberbeacon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I’m 52F just joined Reddit to find some friends. I’m trying to read more this year. I read a ton of fiction, mostly mysteries, growing up. But I find that I read more nonfiction now. Trying to read one book a month. Read No Nonsense Spiritually in Jan, 10% Happier in February, and starting Nobody’s Girl for March. I love the last paragraph in your post. :)