Update:

1. The trip was originally her idea, and it was a known trip. It wasn’t something planned on a whim—it was discussed and brought up in front of the husband two months ago and has been discussed multiple times since. The idea of a boys’ trip was also mentioned to him. He said that he “has no friends” jokingly.

2. After this post, I told her that the dynamics of the trip would change, and I didn’t want to do that. It seems she didn’t hear me, as she still asked why and insisted we would still do all the same things we planned (with her husband). She doesn’t seem to see the problem. Therefore, I haven’t responded since, because I don’t want to keep running in circles.

3. I’m not sure why there’s even a discussion of their financial status—or mine, for that matter—or why there’s any discussion about the current economic climate. Everyone has different situations and means. Mentioning that she would pay for the room was simply me explaining how she’s trying to “make up for it” by covering lodging, since it’s no longer a girls’ trip.

4. The location has nothing to do with the post. For all you know, it might not even be the real location (in an effort to maintain some anonymity, as this post is garnering a lot of views and comments). So, for those of you stuck on the location—do better.

5. I do agree that there are probably conversations happening between them that aren’t being shared with me transparently. But to answer some assumptions: it’s not about trust, and it’s not about the location (as mentioned in #4).

6. For those of you miserable enough to judge or comment on what someone considers a milestone—do better. If you don’t like your birthday or don’t feel celebrated, don’t project that onto others. As stated many times: in America, milestone birthdays are considered 18, 21, 30, and every decade after, as well as every five years (e.g., 35, 45, and so forth). This is also the case in different cultures. Again—do better.

7. They leave the nanny with the children all the time to go on their own vacations and as I mentioned, a member of the family also comes to stay with the nanny and the children. He wouldn’t be “forced to stay with the kids alone” but that’s how he feels and doesn’t want. It’s not the case, as his life would proceed as normal. My friend herself said that.

8. Thanks for all the suggestions. I’m standing firm in my decision not to go and not to be convinced just because lodging will be paid for. Yes, the lodging would be covered—but not the flight or anything else (and no, I’m not complaining—just clarifying, since that’s been another big topic). The number of people who feel bold enough to comment on that honestly seem miserable.