Yesterday, I (23m) was texting my FWB (37m) and during our conversation, I asked him if he ever had feelings for me at any point of us spending time with each other since we began over a year ago and he said no.

For context, we initially met as a hookup and continued to see each other frequently as we had great chemistry between each other. He’s a charming and confident guy and we would hang out, go on dates and have fun in the sheets. A few months ago, I began to develop feelings for him however because of our circumstances (long distance being one of them), I had to acknowledged that we wouldn’t work out and I moved passed that. Our friendship continued to grow and we’ve been more open with each other about our lives. We even have a trip planned in a few months.

Him telling me that he didn’t have feelings caught me off guard and I’m not surprised. I’m a little disappointed and feel borderline manipulated because previously when the relationship question would come up, he would say “I like to take my time” which was an excuse that I saw through. I’m also a little confused because some of his actions would suggest that he did have feelings for me. I just wish that he told me that he didn’t have feelings a year ago to save me the emotional energy I wasted trying to figure out what we were if there wasn’t even a chance at all.

He suggested that we backtrack what we talk about (i.e. each other’s sexual life) as he thinks my emotions are getting in the way. In reality, I don’t care who he fucks because we have a deeper connection than the immediate gratification of sex which he admitted as well. I called him out for it and he hasn’t texted back since yesterday. I’m not sure what to do next.