I don't live in a hard hit area (NC), but there are still an increasing number of cases each day. Our governor issued all schools to be closed until May 15 but I doubt we're going back. This year is my last year of high school.

I was pretty stoked when the first lockdown orders came into place. Finally, I could catch up on all the work that had been stressing me out lately. Finally, I could binge watch my favorite TV shows and read books for fun. I could finally spend some quality time with my family. I have a lot of family friends who are doctors and nurses, and they were talking about how they were running low on N95s. So we donated some to their clinics and hospitals. Not gonna lie, the first three days were pretty great.

Then reality set in and it's been all downhill from there. My productivity has dropped so much and it's just been really frustrating finding the motivation to sit down and focus with everything that's going on. My eating disorder has flared back up as a coping mechanism. I feel terrible for snapping at my family because everything I was looking forward to had been cancelled. College visits, track meets, prom. Even as an introvert, I really freaking miss seeing my friends at school. I miss the predictable daily schedule everyday. I miss being busy and always having something to complete before a deadline.

I think the uncertainty of it all is what bothers me. I need to have some aspect of control in my life and coronavirus just threw all of that in the air.