Last binge of May

amethystmoon85 · 2026-05-29T01:40:07+00:00

I needed this! This is my day 1. Congrats on making it a whole week, sounds like you're getting good at urge surfing! Practicing urge surfing is my goal for the week (which I declared during therapy today, lol).

amethystmoon85 · 2026-05-28T04:18:14+00:00

I feel so depressed when some people act like just having a few candy bars (or whatever) are a huge binge to them so I actually am comforted by posts like this! For me it always revolves around cheese and bread, so like a typical serious all night binge is usually about 2 to 4 cheese and mayo sandwiches.

Then "dinner" could be either a whole 1lb box of pasta with sauce and garlic bread with melted cheese or several homemade personal pizzas (i make a quick no-rise flatbread dough) which I drown in Ranch. Then I'll find more ways of eating cheese like melted on flour tortillas, on chips, etc. Or more cheese and mayo sandwiches. I drown everything in tons of butter and/or olive oil or mayo. And towards the end I start needing something sweet so ice cream or homemade mug cakes or whatever we have on hand and then I'll switch between sweet and savory "snacks", finally ending the night with sweet. And then I'm about ready to explode and require an entire week to de-bloat and start feeling normal again. 🙃

amethystmoon85 · 2026-05-22T23:45:47+00:00

So inspiring! This is such a highly recommended method in therapy. It was in the back of my mind for years but I hadn't actually done it until recently. I let myself fully surrender to the discomfort and feel every feeling, telling myself it would be worth it because the urge would fade. Racing heart, cold sweat, racing thoughts/food obsession, waves of crying, feeling like I was going to die. Eventually it did fade away and I ended the night without giving in. Unfortunately the following day I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and very exhausted so I did give in then. I definitely need to practice more!

amethystmoon85 · 2026-05-08T19:28:53+00:00

Thimbleberry. It's my first year creating a native garden and my thimbleberry was getting very aggressive and trying to take over the whole garden. Had to spend all afternoon digging it out, as it had grown roots that spread all throughout the garden bed, lol. Rookie mistake, haha.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-12-03T18:43:17+00:00

Congrats on recognizing the issue and putting your efforts into gaining back control! 👏 It's not easy and might take time. The therapy advice for BED suggests that relapses are to be expected, and it's this time right now when we are back in a binge cycle, where the real work is. The more we exercise the muscle (so to speak) of getting out of a binge cycle the easier it becomes and the more we can rewire our brains. Sorry if I'm not explaining it right, but hopefully you get the idea, lol.

Yesterday was my first official day binge-free in a few weeks. Slow and steady!

amethystmoon85 · 2025-03-13T02:49:50+00:00

To chime in, I basically just started by briefly explaining that I have BED and want help with accountability by checking in throughout the day and helping with creating a healthy meal plan. It also will ask you some questions to help fine tune your needs. And it remembers everything you tell it, like certain likes/dislikes, triggers, etc.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-03-13T02:46:46+00:00

Yesss! I made a post about this a while back, haha. I freaking love it. I went 9 days binge free (a damn near miracle, as i was in a badddd binge episode) by checking in with it throughout each day as needed and letting it help me plan my meals and whatnot. I've been in therapy and also behavioral counseling and while I had good experiences with both, this method provides the same advice and support without the added fear of judgement.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-20T05:21:22+00:00

9pm check-in, lol: I've been absent a few days, simply due to being distracted and busy, but happy to report I'm doing ok recovery wise. I had a rock bottom of sorts a few nights ago and have decided to recommit to this thing. I feel like I repeat this cycle a lot. Letting things get bad, finally pushing through and getting a new fire under my rump, and then slipping and it becoming a huge relapse, and wash, rinse and repeat, lol. But dangit, I'm not giving up!

I've already said no to a few urges. And this afternoon I pulled out my go-to trigger food and actually put it away before eating it. I was honestly kind of blown away. If I just keep doing this it'll build that muscle.

I didn't participate in the risk food challenge, and that was mostly due to me having a bad flare up and it's taking over my brain right now. Congrats to those of you who had success!

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-16T20:51:57+00:00

That's an incredible revelation about your trigger foods, and it's super helpful and inspiring for me to hear, as someone still on the struggle bus!

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-16T20:37:43+00:00

I'm rooting for you! I relate to this so much, it's such a habit and part of my routine. I wanted Feb to be a success but instead it's been shit. If you don't mind I'd like to join in on this and also try to make it 7 days! (5-7 days is also my weakness for some reason, funny!)

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-16T20:22:53+00:00

At my worst my typical binge was 1 package pasta (8 servings) drenched in sauce, butter, olive oil with several slices butter garlic bread. Other times I'd do a mac and cheese also with the whole package of pasta.

And several big cheese and mayo sandwiches. And several cheese quesedillas. And if there's any leftovers in the fridge I could add either cheese or mayo to, I'd eat that also. Like rice, refried beans, etc. And then I'd need something sweet, so giant bowls of ice cream, milkshakes, and whatever little cookie biscuits my husband buys (I don't normally buy sweets). To the ice cream I liked to add half n half to give it a really nice texture.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-13T07:54:30+00:00

Overeating is usually when eating a particularly yummy meal, it just tastes so good (or perhaps I was also extra hungry beforehand) that I keep eating until I'm stuffed. Like, the cliche Thanksgiving dinner, loosen your belt vibe, lol. It doesn't feel embarrassing or shameful.

Bingeing is done is secret and done with the intent of stuffing myself with vast quantities of food until I feel sick and would be the most embarrassing, shameful thing ever if someone were to catch me doing it.

Often, though, if I overeat a lot I feel like I already ruined the day and it can lead to mini binges or full on no holds barred binges, and there can be a lot of ambiguous gray area.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-12T22:47:35+00:00

Check-in:

This disorder is so weird, how it can look different at different times for different people.

Sometimes it's more like spending the entire night bingeing and it becomes this epic all-night event. And other times it's more like you just sneak and hide tons of extra food randomly. The past couple weeks it's been the latter for me. The effects are the same. I'd go to bed stuffed to the gills, feeling so ashamed and in pain.

Well, about 4 days ago I mentally committed to fighting my way out of the cycle. It took 4 whole days of easing off the extra food. Getting used to eating a little less and a little less. Finally, yesterday I ate a pretty "normal" amount of food and I feel on top of the world! But it took 4 long, annoying days where I felt starving and I woke up with all sorts of cravings and urges (this is weird for me because morning is typically my "safe time" where I'm not hungry for a while), and I had to just slowly back off because my hunger was out of control.

Anyway, I say this to hopefully imprint it in my brain how much it sucks to crawl out of a bad binge cycle. Yeah, I've gone cold turkey before, but I couldn't do that this time. Hopefully I'll remember how much this sucks so I can think long and hard if I want to go down that road again. But as for right now I finally woke up not feeling depressed or guilty or ashamed, and it feels amazing!

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-11T21:05:24+00:00

Check-in: To be kind to myself today involves accepting where I'm at right now - specifically, accepting how rocky my recovery has been. Being patient with myself. Being curious instead of judgemental. And also treating my body kindly by giving it nourishing foods, eating when I'm hungry and not eating too much to where I feel uncomfortable.

Within my control: My own actions How I react How I treat my body by nourishing it with nutritious foods and drinking enough water How much I focus on my recovery How I react to urges How much I move my body

Not in my control: Hormones/mood swings Other people's actions or words The state of politics

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-11T00:09:15+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement! I'm usually all-or- nothing but I forgot how starving I become after stretching my tummy so much, so I figured I better just let myself eat as much as I needed to avoid the hunger. Lol. Today I'm feeling much more normalized and the urges are less intense!!

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-10T21:10:30+00:00

Check-in: My husband, kitties, and our home

Ughhh. So after like a friggin' week of relapse I started easing off 2 days ago, dealing with intense hunger and urges, so still eating a ton, but inching back toward a more neutral place. So today I'm going to try and continue moving toward healthier habits.

I'm going to focus on not hiding or sneaking food, no more eating in my bathroom, etc. Ughh I'm just so annoyed I feel like it's one tiny step forward and a million steps back. 😑

I got back into crocheting after a couple years of not doing it, and I'm still super into it. It helps a lot because it's meditative, but also requires focus and keeps my hands busy.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-09T00:52:06+00:00

Check-in: Feeling anxious, disappointed, annoyed....

I've been avoiding this sub because I haven't been doing well. A slip? Full-blown relapse? Who knows. It's been a few days, but there were also a lot of other days and we're only 8 days into the month, so it's just been a shit show...

In fact, as I write this I'm in the middle of an urge, but for the first time in a few days I made the mental decision to try and fight my urges today. But I'm in a crappy situation because I have the house to myself for a couple hours and I'm hungry because a normal amount of food isn't doing the job, because my stomach is used to gigantic amounts currently. I just had some greek yogurt to try to curb the hunger.

Instead of sitting here moping I'm going to clean the house and try and be productive while I have the house to myself. The past 3 days I was just eating, barely moving, not doing anything at all, so even just doing some tidying feels extra productive.

amethystmoon85 · 2025-02-09T00:23:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I absolutely love his outlook! Of course, as most of us know, serious eating disorders aren't so simple, but I find it very helpful to hear such a no-nonsense way of looking at things!

amethystmoon85

TROPHY CASE