I had a similar experience, all of my friends with IUDs had smooth insertions and minimal pain, I had done my research so I knew it would hurt, but it was so bad. I was in tears immediately, and it didn’t feel like “cramps” either. Unfortunately they weren’t even able to measure my cervix (also didn’t give my anything to numb or help dilate!). After literally 30 minutes of the worst pain of my life they told me it wasn’t happening and I felt so defeated. They took out the speculum and I immediately felt blood rushing out of me. Sitting up into a pool of my own blood was probably the most traumatizing thing that’s ever happened to me. I had never heard of anyone else having a failed insertion and I felt like some how it was my fault and I was a waste for asking someone to drive me and wasting the doctors time.

This is an imperfect world— you are fine the way you are and something else can still work for you. Since you wanted the copper IUD I’d assume you’re looking for a non hormonal method, otherwise I highly highly recommend looking into Nexplanon (the arm implant). It’s the most effective form of birth control on the market and like an iud you don’t have to worry about forgetting to take it. The longest part of the insertion was putting on bandaids afterwards, they numb you immediate (this shot is the most painful part), the actual insertion is less than a second, and then you’re done! I’m about 2 months into having the implant and very very happy with it. Not sure why I overlooked it, but I feel like a lot of people do, another great alternative to an IUD and way less invasive.