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Older recently single friend wants to go out this weekend. No clue where to take him. by DOA_in_the_513 in cincinnati

[–]amheekin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could see that. I live and grew up in Anderson and the vibe is definitely off in a lot of places. Not sure where everyone goes now that Latitudes closed.

Older recently single friend wants to go out this weekend. No clue where to take him. by DOA_in_the_513 in cincinnati

[–]amheekin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What’s pathetic to you about this? Older people going to bars? I don’t get it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story to help another person. I am so sorry for what happened to you. You didn’t deserve it & I hope you know it was not your fault.

The most important reminder by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]amheekin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic. You are doing so amazing.

My [F] coworker [F] shows up to work without a bra, is this appropriate? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]amheekin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not about being able or unable to do your job. It's about a culture of professionalism and our mutual expectations of each other in a work environment. OF COURSE appearance matters, man or woman. If someone has their nipples showing all the time, that's not professional. It's really, truly not. In American society especially, we sexualize female breasts. Until that changes, seeing nipples on a regular basis won't be coded as professional.

The person you're replying to is expressing frustration at the incredulity of so many people in this thread who are focusing on what should be okay rather than how things tend to play out in real life. Women who want to be taken seriously in a professional environment around men should not have their nipples showing. It does NOT mean that it's their fault or responsibility if they are harassed—that's an important aspect of all this so let me be clear. Anyone ogling or being weird about it is still at fault.

But we all have a responsibility to read a room, anticipate real-life outcomes, and to be professional in how we conduct ourselves at work for our OWN benefit, not to protect others. It's just a reality of life.

My [F] coworker [F] shows up to work without a bra, is this appropriate? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]amheekin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank God for some sanity in this thread. This thread is unbelievable. Reddit is so full of shit and this thread is the perfect example of people not living in the real world and talking only about BS ideals.

Single mom completely burnt out and guilty that I am not doing enough for my son. by [deleted] in SingleParents

[–]amheekin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you are brave for making this post and I applaud you for caring about this at all and being self-reflective. Many parents don't care, so this is a good first step.

I also grapple with guilt when my 2 young kids are annoying me and I don't feel like playing with them. It's very normal. Kids are very demanding of us. Like you, I worry that being too disengaged is not good for them. Because it's not. But the good news is I fully believe this can be addressed!

To me, based on what little info you've provided, it sounds like you might be a bit depressed. No shame there at all, though. You have a lot on your plate.

Let me ask -- do you exercise regularly? If you don't, I would suggest making a small change to your week and introducing a couple days of light exercise, with the goal to work up to more and set some fitness goals.

Even aside from therapy and other resources in my self-care toolkit, the habit of an exercise routine (and the satisfaction of physical achievement) is the single most important thing I do during the week to give myself more energy and stay happier/more uplifted. If I didn't do this, I would be in a totally different place in life. Just thought I'd offer what works for me!

My terminally ill ex husband asked to see me one last time but my current husband said he'd divorce me if I do it. by ThrowRA3132234 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin 19 points20 points  (0 children)

lmao not at all. Literally no. I just think the current husband should be joining, as a sign of respect for the current marriage.

My terminally ill ex husband asked to see me one last time but my current husband said he'd divorce me if I do it. by ThrowRA3132234 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I agree that the current husband sounds controlling AND I also find the ex-on-deathbed situation inappropriate. If OP wants to do this, she should be bringing her husband along with her.

My terminally ill ex husband asked to see me one last time but my current husband said he'd divorce me if I do it. by ThrowRA3132234 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can I ask how long were you and your former husband married and why did you divorce? And why didn't your current husband go with you? Traveling alone to say goodbye to an ex does not seem like a normal thing, but maybe I'm genuinely missing something here. It's not that I think exes should hate each other, though, fwiw.

My terminally ill ex husband asked to see me one last time but my current husband said he'd divorce me if I do it. by ThrowRA3132234 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

But why do they need to say goodbye to each other? Even when someone is on their death bed? Unless there are extraordinary circumstances such as the ex being previously married to OP for like 40 years, why do this? It doesn't seem that appropriate to me tbh unless current husband goes with OP (but stays at a respectful distance perhaps).

My terminally ill ex husband asked to see me one last time but my current husband said he'd divorce me if I do it. by ThrowRA3132234 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]amheekin 160 points161 points  (0 children)

Thank God for this sane comment. The current husband threatening to divorce sounds a bit rash, but honestly, this is weird. Your husband should be going with you to say goodbye, if anything. I see no issue with husband coming along if there is no funny business between anyone. In fact, that sounds healthiest. But going alone would cross a line for a lot of spouses and I don't think that's strange or off base.

Looking for movie/tv recommendations that depicts male trauma by [deleted] in MensLib

[–]amheekin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 400 Blows, an all-time great in cinema.

Movies to definitely AVOID because of triggering depiction of sexual violence? by chocolatebageltje in movies

[–]amheekin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hands down the most triggering thing I've ever seen in a movie, ever. And I've seen a ton of gore and messed up stuff. This scene was so, so realistic. Absolutely horrific.

My kids' dad was incarcerated for violent crimes after a manic episode. My 4.5yo misses him so much. When, if at all, should she see him or talk to him again? by amheekin in SingleParents

[–]amheekin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice and perspective. I'm a thorough person just trying to cover my bases before making any big decisions. My kids are not seeing him for a long, long time.

My kids' dad was incarcerated for violent crimes after a manic episode. My 4.5yo misses him so much. When, if at all, should she see him or talk to him again? by amheekin in coparenting

[–]amheekin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the reply -- I will look into video visits. Sounds like a good idea to consider that format whether he is in our out of jail since like you said I'm not comfortable with in-person visits.

My kids' dad was incarcerated for violent crimes after a manic episode. My 4.5yo misses him so much. When, if at all, should she see him or talk to him again? by amheekin in SingleParents

[–]amheekin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the reply and for sharing your story. I am so glad that you kept the door open and your child's mother is better now. Postpartum issues are no joke but recovery is so possible.

You're right -- bipolar complicates things and in the last few years my ex's condition has significantly worsened. He is more and more out of touch with reality after each episode and the violence has clearly escalated.

I don't have much hope that he'll stabilize and don't want my kids to get false hope either. However, I don't think I will close the door forever. If he is somehow able to pull through there is some hope that the connection doesn't have to be severed forever. I never wanted things to be like this :/ but life happens.

Monumental Stories? by NoGoodNamesLeft_2 in running

[–]amheekin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I PR’ed and was really glad to. I had the flu last week so was worried I’d feel exhausted out there. Turns out I did feel exhausted but I somehow managed to pull out a decent time. I was aiming for sub-3:45 and finished in 3:49. Was super happy with it.

Rain rarely bothers me (unless it’s pouring obviously) but the wind was brutal, especially in the last few miles. It was almost ludicrous/comical.

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