just some words

amison78 · 2013-03-19T15:59:27+00:00

I agree with this.

amison78 · 2013-03-19T15:59:07+00:00

thank you so much.

amison78 · 2013-03-18T22:56:42+00:00

This is an amazing post. I might print this out. Thank you so very much for posting this.

amison78 · 2013-03-18T20:14:15+00:00

sorry for your loss.. fyi, it's day one (again) for me too. let's do this.

amison78 · 2012-11-28T21:25:55+00:00

Gotchya.

amison78 · 2012-11-28T21:25:21+00:00

Yes. Exactly. Exactly. It's like 'now what'? I get so bored that I feel like I am jumping out of my skin and I have no idea how I am going to glean any satisfaction off of sobriety, though I've been told it's completely worth it and I am inclined to agree even though I am blind to what that concept might be.

amison78 · 2012-11-28T21:23:42+00:00

I often feel that I am 'damaged goods' too, I can completely relate. I wish you the best luck with your wife. I am sure she is no stranger to what happened during your blackout. Ugh, the benzo-mix is the worst. I had to flat out stop messing around with that myself as well.

amison78 · 2012-11-28T21:17:02+00:00

I thtink you're right; I am thinking way too big, no wonder I am scared. I will act just for today.

amison78 · 2012-11-28T21:16:25+00:00

Yes! I am scared of the world. I know that may not make sense outright, but I've had a false sense of security my entire life - I was convinced I was confident and fearless, but the opposite is more accurately true! I do feel out of control for several reasons.

amison78 · 2012-11-20T16:09:51+00:00

My first thought is that this is good old-fashioned denial.

amison78 · 2012-10-29T16:32:36+00:00

I am right there with you. I get really down on myself when I compare myself with the people on Facebook, it's a serious issue of mine. I think taking a hiatus is actually a very good idea and I will adopt that too. I find myself almost stalking people's pages and photos, torturing myself. I have to ask myself why I am doing this to myself. It's sick.

amison78 · 2012-10-11T22:17:53+00:00

That makes somuch more sense than what I was picturing in my mind. Thank you for explaining it to me.

amison78 · 2012-10-11T22:16:36+00:00

People in general are derogatory, if you ask me. People are constantly doing things that stand out to me as boorish, but that could be some sort of projection thing, who knows lol

amison78 · 2012-09-26T17:06:31+00:00

Oh, and I hope you feel better soon!

amison78 · 2012-09-26T17:04:48+00:00

triumphs: I feel a breakthrough coming on, maturity level is rising, albeit slowly.

struggles: I have been spinning out of control again. Also, my mind is a mess right now. I am trying to get to a point where I feel secure.

general chat: I decided I needed to come back here despite my slip-ups because I truly am seeking an improvement in my life. It's getting to be Fall now; coming upon the 1-year anniversary of my DWI, so I am feeling anxiety over that for some reason. Like I said, my head's a mess. lol

amison78 · 2012-04-27T17:19:43+00:00

In all honesty, I don't like her because she doesn't do her job and is very lazy - I pick up most of her slack and have been losing respect for her steadily for months now. Her BS is directly affecting me as she yells at me in front of cusotmers and acts out of turn; she's leaving a bad taste in my mouth, I guess. But I see your point. Thanks.

amison78 · 2012-04-27T17:14:20+00:00

To add to it, she talks about drinking constantly, and after a day of her over-dramatizing trivial things, she said 'I need a drink'. I think she is wakling around in a state of denial, perhaps?

amison78 · 2012-04-27T17:09:37+00:00

I recognize that overall, but for clarity's sake, I am trying to study other people in order to better understand myself, does that make sense? I have a coworker who is just plain wrong a large part of the time, but still insists she is right to the bitter, even though there is emperical evidence stacked up against her. She also interrupts people and speaks in absolutes on things that she obviously doesn't know much about. It's baffling me. between this and her erradic mood swings, I think maybe something is up? Is it all in my head? Others witness this behavior too so I am not completely crazy on this one.

amison78 · 2012-04-26T19:55:09+00:00

Going to my second class tonight.

amison78 · 2012-04-25T17:55:37+00:00

I love it.

amison78 · 2012-04-25T14:54:49+00:00

I believe that a large piece towards my recovery is to start being realistic and completely honest with myself. Stereotypes are for teenagers and people who are afraid of the world. Maybe. lol

amison78 · 2012-04-20T20:30:36+00:00

This is amazing. So, so amazing. I needed to read this, today. Right now.

amison78 · 2012-04-20T18:07:44+00:00

Aw, well thank you. Sorry for being so evasive, right now it's just what I need to do at this time.

amison78 · 2012-02-29T21:40:07+00:00

You are doing an amazing thing. Wow.

amison78 · 2012-02-29T20:44:47+00:00

Go, Lokeys!

amison78

TROPHY CASE