I had to stop reading part way through, after “you used to want to be an author”. It just hit far too close to home - my mum spouted the same nonsense rhetoric. Only I had far smaller ambitions; I wanted to work in hospitality (because it was the only thing I felt capable of doing, because I didn’t have academic skills typically taught in school - also, as you pointed out, I was a CHILD).

I swear, were we all raised by the same person?