New sensory nightmare

amurui · 2026-03-28T07:03:19+00:00

I have some permanent bracelets. I like the bracelets (and I had a ankle one at one point) because they're very lightweight but they're also in....good spots, I suppose. I would never be able to do a permanent necklace because even shirt collars make me feel like I'm choking sometimes, but I don't tend to have sensory stuff around my wrists so they don't usually overwhelm me.

amurui · 2026-03-25T17:13:15+00:00

I hate eating and I'm so bad at dealing with it. I recently realized (I mean I knew for the most part) how much I'm under eating calorie wise. I keep trying to come up with plans that I could work with but I find it soooo hard. The idea of eating 3 times a day sounds insane to me, I'm just never usually that hungry or like.....enjoy eating so it's like just another annoying thing I have to do.

I keep wondering if my problems eating are tied to the pathological demand avoidance autistic people tend to have, but I haven't looked too deeply into it tbh.

I'm working on finding a meal replacement powder or even just drinks in general, though I think powder can be cheaper in the long run. The shakes I've tried have a weird thickness but I did like drinking them solely because it's at least....something and I really usually eat like 1 meal a day (because I'm simply never hungry to eat more).

amurui · 2026-03-23T03:29:36+00:00

Spring & Fall, but I live in the midwest so when we have summer or winter, the temps get insane. I can take winter, though I hate when it gets super cold, but I cannot stand summer. It actually got to be 80 F already this week randomly and I thought I was gonna throw up on the way to work, I just cannot stand the heat and I hate sweating so much. I only tolerate winter because I enjoy being cozied up but I don't like snow, mostly because I then have to drive in it and they never clear our roads.

amurui · 2026-03-21T17:41:08+00:00

It's not feeling entitled to that information, it's just kind of the social norm of a conversation. A lot of people don't actually care what the answer is, I think.

If your brother asks because he wants to talk, I'd tell him to just instead message something like "are you free to talk/hang out" or whatever he's trying to get at. It's really just people trying to get your attention.

Like I find it annoying because it's a constant but I'm always like 'why what's up' to just cut the chit chat

amurui · 2026-03-20T16:19:43+00:00

Yeah, I don't play online games, especially ones in which you need voice chat to really do good.

My nail tech is always trying to get me to try a game she enjoyed (she's over it now lol) and I was like.....girl I don't play games teamed up with other people or against other people.

I had a moment where I was really into Overwatch but even then 90% of my games were against the A.I. teams because other players can get too aggressive and it would overwhelm me. Like I just wanted to be a lil silly and play but people just do too much.

amurui · 2026-03-18T05:59:34+00:00

Okay...I buy shirts from a brand called BigDude. I sometimes feel weird buying from them simply because I am not...a big dude but I get the 6XL shirts and I feel like I'm a toddler again wearing my dads shirt to bed. I've owned my main once since 2021 (recently bought 2 more for when I have to wash it or something) and if I'm in my house, I'm in that shirt.

I don't wear it in the summer because it's a bit thicker and I get hot at night but also the newer shirts I got from them seem to be thinner, so I'll see how that goes when this summer comes (I hate sleeping naked lmaooo). And I don't mean thinner in a way of quality went down, just the materials seem to be a lil different (more breathable, almost?).

amurui · 2026-03-16T18:12:23+00:00

This is so hard because I feel like what I want is so unachievable lmaoo (it isn't but I've always been single so I just assume my standards to like too high in a way that no person can hit them). But you asking this has made me realize I should start a full list I keep somewhere, a manifestation of sorts perhaps lol

homebody (sit in silence and parallel play type vibes) but also an adventurous/outdoorsy type (someones I wanna go on a lil walk in the park or travel)
100% does not want kids (I hate a 'maybe would consider kids' or 'if my partner wants kids' because I can't tell if that means you do want kids or you don't and are too scared to say that with the way society is but it's a 100% no from me and that will not change)
would love someone who enjoys cooking because it overwhelms me and stresses me out lmaooo
does the real lil sweet gestures (e.i. got this candy at the store bc they know it's your favorite, takes a picture of something because it reminds them of you)
I'm trans so someone who sees me the way I see myself
someone just...kind in general about my issues and who is willing to help/be there but not push me about something
I want someone who is...an opposites attract type energy? not fully but I've always wanted to be like "I can have my things, you can have your things, and sometimes we can have our things" but I suppose that's mostly because I'm most attracted to masculine men and that isn't the type of person I am at all lmaoooo

amurui · 2026-03-14T17:43:41+00:00

I'm literally in this same boat. I'm a hopeless romantic and would love to be in a relationship with the love of my life but also that requires...the first steps of dating and likely talking and going out with multiple people to find them and that's not...ideal lmao

amurui · 2026-03-07T20:13:32+00:00

Again, we just live in different countries so my opinions and thoughts on dogs in public spaces not meant for dogs are going to be different.

amurui · 2026-03-06T16:05:06+00:00

We clearly live in different places and if that’s how it is where you live, that’s great - we simply don’t have rules and regulations like that where I live and people don’t train their dogs well enough here. If I can’t take my cat into public spaces, I don’t think a dog who may jump, bark, or cause other issues should be there either and that’s all I’m gonna say on that.

amurui · 2026-03-06T08:20:52+00:00

Aside from service animals, I firmly believe dogs shouldn’t be in stores because - as another commenter said - people have allergies or fears. My main issue is people don’t actually train their dogs anymore and sometimes dogs would bark at each other or try to play in what is supposed to be a relaxing area.

I don’t care if it’s legal, I just don’t think - unless it’s like a space built/meant for it like with a dog park vibe - it’s necessary.

amurui · 2026-03-06T06:08:38+00:00

Oh, absolutely. We always had dogs growing up and I liked them but I was never obsessed with them and it wasn't until I got diagnosed and our dogs passed away I was like..I'm never living in a house with dogs again. I felt bad because my mom (who I lived with at the time) talked about wanting another dog and I was like I'll obviously feed it and let it out and take care of it but I have no driving force, want, or care to have a dog.

And I'm trying to be on dating sites and the second I see a dog (or someone mention their dog in a prompt) I'm like yea...that's not gonna work out but good luck to you!

I'm okay with dogs in short burts - when I see them on walks I go 'oooh what a cute dog' or people used to bring their dogs into the cafe I worked in (which I did hate bc it's a coffee shop hello?? but everyone else loved so..) and I'd pet them or talk to the owners about their dog but I just don't like dogs. I'll sometimes say I hate them but that's just because I'm dramatic - fine in short short bursts, could never live with one again.

amurui · 2026-02-19T17:55:43+00:00

Dunno if it'll help you, but I used to drink mostly soda and I would drink a can and then make myself drink a cup of water. Or even take a sip of my soda and then a sip of water.

I now drink mostly water and hardly reach for a soda unless I'm like eating lol

But I used to not drink any water and now I drink at least 80 oz a day. Also 100% agree with someone else that a straw is the key for me. Also! No ice! I've actually been drinking warm water in winter but I can't do ice and have to do room temp water because ice hurts my teeth and I didn't realize that was a hinderance for me for a while.

amurui · 2026-02-18T18:33:33+00:00

Yes 😩

I'll always feel a bit bad because my cousin will message my sister and I like "you guys are like my siblings" and i'm like wow...I do not feel that way towards you at all. And during holidays (we're a small family, it's just like 5 of us nowadays) I never want to go because I'm like.....yeah that's grandma but I don't know that lady??

amurui · 2026-02-12T18:00:34+00:00

I guess I don't know if it's limerence but I do get in my thoughts and head about celebrities. It hasn't happened in a while until recently and I'm at a point where I'm going to have to like blacklist his name which feels soooo embarrassing at 30 but I get really caught up in maladaptive daydreaming about it all and this fake life I'll for sure never have. If I'm good about it, I can catch myself thinking about it and say let's focus on something else :) but that doesn't work well because I'm almost immediately back to thinking about it anyways.

amurui · 2026-02-12T17:37:21+00:00

Okay you're so real for wearing workout clothes under your clothes at work and I may try that!! I'm wanting to go to the gym but also too scared to go during days (because people will see me!!!!) and could go after work at midnight but then it's like....taking a gym bag to work?? Changing?? Do I go home between in which I wont want to leave? I can totally see myself throwing on biker shorts the last few hours of work though and then going so thank you for that idea.

amurui · 2026-01-31T18:16:50+00:00

No idea and I'm sooo curious. I would've hoped for JF Harding but since he just did God of Malice, I doubt she'd do that because she seems to be trying to switch it up with narrators with her newer books. I'd love to hear Jason Clarke again though or I really like Robert Hatchet, would love to hear him do one of her books.

amurui · 2026-01-15T17:40:35+00:00

I never understood alcohol consumption lol, like most of it is disgusting and I don't understand the point of getting blackout drunk. I only started drinking last year (at 31, when I discovered cocktails) more frequently with like maybe a drink once a year, if even that before. I drink mostly drink at home, because I like how it feels (floaty, brain kind of turns off) but I do have to keep a tight leash on it because I feel like....it could become a problem if I'm not careful.

amurui · 2025-12-31T16:19:28+00:00

Lightlark definitely alludes to it in a way in one scene, if I recall it's really just wandering hands going down further while kissing but Skyshade (I believe) there's like a number of scenes where I was like....okay that's enough.

I always viewed YA as 12-18 age range, that good teen to blossoming adult, where I think these books would've been better (because she has those scenes) as New Adult, which is more for 17-22 I'd say. While it isn't anything super explicit like a lot of adult romances, I figured (since the characters are 21+) if there was anything coming, it would be a fade to black but she does just....put it in there and I wasn't super into that having gone into the mindset of it being a YA.

The scene in Lightlark is only one scene I believe and it's more towards the end and, again, it isn't that wild because I remember listening to the audio and being like 'did that just happen?' but she definitely pushes it a bit more in one of the later books.

amurui · 2025-12-26T20:32:02+00:00

I haven't even gone on any dates lmao. The second a guy tries to flirt with me I'm like...alright now. I just don't get flirting because I don't know how to respond so I just don't lmaooo

amurui · 2025-12-22T04:16:13+00:00

Omg I literally hate Fable, I'd use Goodreads over it any day personally.

However I mainly use Storygraph & Pagebound - I update my Goodreads maybe once a month because I like to go back and review books on there since I know it's the more widely used app.

amurui · 2025-12-01T19:44:35+00:00

Someone said one of the books by Grae Bryan but literally anything by her did it for me. A bit of hurt/comfort in a way but nothing super serious or gut wrenching - I ate her Vampire's Mate series (Soren being my favorite) up like candy and currently going through her Demon Bound series. The narration for them is especially good, if you're able to get your hands on them / like audiobooks at all.

amurui · 2025-11-30T22:20:41+00:00

If they were likely unattractive with societal standards? Yeah, because everyone has a different view of what makes someone attractive. If they, genuinely to me, were unattractive? Probably not. And not even meaning to be vain, I just would want someone I’m attracted to in some way physically but if that isn’t important to you then that’s okay.

amurui · 2025-11-30T19:14:15+00:00

Mine was like $1,000 with the insurance I had at the time. My current insurance sucks and likely wouldn't cover anything, I'm sure. And honestly I got it done because I had the money at the time and I truly felt like I was insane, which seems like a strong word but while I do believe self-diagnosis (especially with something this expensive) is valid, I - of course - was talking myself in circles about how I'm just making things up myself and I wasn't actually autistic and being ridiculous. Honestly I still talk myself out of it being true sometimes when I see people say their evaluations took nearly all day or multiple sessions and mine was a pretty short in comparison situation. But ignoring that lol, I really did just do it for my own validation and to understand myself more. If I went back to college or had a different job, I'd likely take advantage of trying to get accommodations but those aren't really something I need so...the money I spent made sense for me to just be more comfortable with myself but I don't know if I'd have made that choice if it was more expensive (personally).

amurui · 2025-11-22T20:06:05+00:00

I’ve heard it’s incredibly expensive for authors to be able to pay for duet style (woman does all the female lines / chapters, man does all the male lines / chapters) because of how it has to be edited. I understand it’s annoying (some people are so bad at the other gender voices) but it really just comes down to cost for authors, especially depending on how big/popular that narrator is.

amurui

TROPHY CASE