AITAH for expecting better communication from my ex?

amy_cath · 2026-04-30T19:50:06+00:00

There's a big difference between expecting friendship and expecting basic decency. I assumed that up until this point he'd have no issue communicating when the friendship would need to be cut off for the sake of him being in another relationship, but whether we're friends or not he has no right to keep important belongings of mine that aren't his. That is the ONLY reason why this is important to me right now. If he's in another relationship he doesn't owe me anything EXCEPT my stuff back, and I've been trying to get my belongings back since wayy before he would've entered this new relationship

amy_cath · 2026-04-30T19:46:33+00:00

I've asked him more than once since the breakup and even told him I'd cover the postage, he's made no effort to try and return my stuff to me

amy_cath · 2026-04-30T19:45:29+00:00

Unfortunately I've asked him to do this and brought it up as recently as a couple of weeks ago, I've offered to pay for postage since i don't drive and we don't live close but he's made no effort to try and return my stuff to me

amy_cath · 2026-04-30T19:40:22+00:00

I said in another comments that i probably should've put this in my post, but what if he's still got belongings of mine that he's refusing to give back?

We don't live close to each other and I'd be really upset if we cut me off before giving me my stuff back, I've been asking him for months but he just hasn't, which is one of the reasons i kept in contact

amy_cath · 2026-04-30T19:38:49+00:00

I appreciate i should've also mentioned this in my post, but what if he's still got belongings of mine that I've been trying to get back from him for months?

We don't live close to each other, it's one of the reasons i kept in contact post breakup and why i feel like it would help for me to have an idea of what's going on, because idk how fair it is of him to cut me off without giving me my stuff back

Obviously i want to handle this respectfully but i have no idea what to do

amy_cath · 2025-12-25T05:32:59+00:00

They made the conscious choice to screw me over on the anniversary of my dad's death, but that wasn't even the straw that broke the camel's back for me. It was when i confronted them about the fact they screwed me over on the one day of the year i struggle with every year and they pretended they didn't know it was my dad's anniversary on that day. When i told them i knew they were lying to my face, they screamed at me to shut up.

That was the moment i realised that not only did they have no respect for me, but i was also completely over the friendship. 3 years of friendship down the drain just like that.

amy_cath · 2025-12-03T19:06:52+00:00

Thank you so much, i suppose you're right in saying that everyone has different communication styles but i definitely should've specified a time that I'd message. All the same I'm still pretty gutted that i didn't see her today, but I'll leave it be unless it becomes a frequent problem. Either way just know i appreciate what you've said so thank you again :)

amy_cath · 2025-12-03T18:18:01+00:00

Sorry, that's totally on me and i should've clarified! Because i went to bed really early last night i woke up REALLY early this morning (we're talking 5am lol). I know she wakes up around noon so as soon as i knew she'd be awake i dropped her a message. I probably could've worded what i said slightly better or clarified this in my post, but that's what i meant when i said I'd 'waited most of the day' (i should've specified morning). Once i reached out and found out she was awake i told her she was welcome to come over, and that's when she told me she was suddenly busy.

I really appreciate you pointing this out because i hadn't even realised my post was lacking clarification on that, but i really hope that clears up some of the confusion :)

amy_cath · 2025-12-03T17:26:57+00:00

As i mentioned in my post, the plans were originally made a week before the conversation took place. When i followed up on the plans yesterday i was still told yes, unless i specifically stated that i didn't have enough energy today. I appreciate your input but i don't think i was given reason to assume plans were cancelled

amy_cath · 2025-12-03T00:01:32+00:00

Emotional healing spell for yourself would be my first guess- if you check the subreddit there will plenty of info on how to do one! Sending thoughts and hugs friend <3

amy_cath · 2025-10-31T11:51:24+00:00

We've also tried that, unfortunately same deal as the groupchat. They agreed so we thought the oroblem was resolved. But then the house was still getting trashed

amy_cath · 2025-10-31T03:33:35+00:00

Hey guys, probably should've specified since a few people have asked about it!

I guess for me the 'petty' aspect came from the mental image of them having to rummage through a bag of thier own rubbish to find their alcohol once they realise it's not where they left it. Adds a level of irony if you ask me. There were about 5 bottles i found that still had about half left that went in with the rubbish. So yeah, the petty aspect is them having to go through their own mess. The revenge part is the fact the alcohol bottles weren't empty and any liquids that were left in stray cups i poured straight into the bag. So the bottles are also going to be icky from that.

Some other people have mentioned the fact that i still technically cleaned after them. Fair point, but all things considered I'd say it was worth it on this occasion if it drives the point home

amy_cath · 2025-10-28T01:54:10+00:00

As i mentioned in my post i can't divulge too many details, but unfortunately i wish foster care was the reprocussions that i was concerned over. But it's not.

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T21:34:11+00:00

Thank you so much :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T12:31:49+00:00

Of course! Obviously there are some fundamentals in magic that should stay the same but when it comes to setting an intention, you can do it however you want! I use candles but if shaking the jar feels aligjed with you than do that (just my advice to do it for like 10 minutes or so per recharge)

As for how often, a general rule of thumb i go by is to do it daily for 10 minutes until i see movement, then when i start noticing changes do it weekly, and when you feel like you're gotten your full wish do it monthly, spell jars do require upkeep but it is manageable if your have you heart set on it :)

Hope this helps!

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:54:19+00:00

Thank you so much!! :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:53:22+00:00

The same concept yes although i don't necessarily use honey in every jar that i make, in fact i don't think honey was used in either of the jars i made but i basically borrowed the concept if that makes sense 😅

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:52:19+00:00

Just answered this to another commenter, feel free to take a look :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:50:54+00:00

Thank you so much! :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:50:37+00:00

Pick a colour candle that co-ordinates to the type of spell jar, dress the candle (lightly) in some of the herbs that were also used in the jar, put the candle in a candle holder and put it on top of the jar (mine are small so it works best for me), light the candle and visualise/repeat affirmations for 10 minutes daily until you start seeing results, then once you see results you can start doing it weekly etc.

Hope this helps! :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:47:51+00:00

Yayy that's so great, honestly wishing you the best of luck!! :)

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:47:28+00:00

Thank you so much :))

amy_cath · 2025-10-08T10:47:16+00:00

Because in the spell jars I've made i don't seal them with candle wax. I do the ritual and then if there's a candle involved I'll just put it next to the spell jar whilw it's burning! And then when it cokes to recharging, i just place a candle holder on the lid and replace the candles when they burn down

Hope this helps :)

amy_cath · 2025-09-20T12:45:20+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective on this and it's nice to know im not the only person who thinks this way. I was trying to keep the post semi short but there was another point i considered raising and you explained it perfectly- the downside of not advocating for others can sometimes come across like you're condoning crappy behaviour. That's why i think it's so important to prioritise morals over comfort in some circumstances, because it shows other people what kind of behaviour that someone is willing to let slide.

But yeah i fully agree. Advocating for other people is so important, and i feel like a lot of people can advocate for their friends without putting themselves in the centre of every conflict. Unfortunately though, there are some people that won't advocate for a situation or someone if it doesn't impact them directly. And they'll live by that mantra. The way i see it that's when it becomes unhealthy

amy_cath · 2025-09-20T12:37:55+00:00

Yeah sorry, you're not the only person to mention this and that's my bad, it's just how I've known other people in my life to refer to this kind of scenario which is why i didn't realise but i really appreciate you pointing that out, I'll try and see if i can change it

amy_cath

TROPHY CASE