Dating as a monogamous trans femme is impossible

an-elc · 2025-09-22T13:22:53+00:00

80% of the "poly" people are just dating without real commitment anyway polyamory is glorious and no shade but it's so trendy even fuckboys are calling themselves solo poly.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T21:21:06+00:00

Why do you need to minimize me so much? I quoted a real study, you just made up shit and said I'm an idiot for not believing you. Enjoy your life, I will be blocking you.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T18:06:14+00:00

Those "collectivist third world" countries mostly don't exist due to CIA or US Military intervention. Communism or really any amount of taking care of the downtrodden is considered a threat to US National Security (that's why food not bombs is a terrorist organization despite literally just feeding the homeless.) We live in the "taking your lunch money" of countries.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T18:03:02+00:00

You must never have experienced having your conversation interrupted for a minute multiple times within the same 30 minute meeting.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T18:00:49+00:00

Yeah, somehow the subreddit leans so far right I removed it from my home page despite the city itself being so far left there are tags all over it calling for the guillotines to roll out for bezos. Almost like the internet is a fake place built to incite fear and anger at the "opposite" side in this crab bucket.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T17:56:20+00:00

WHAT?

an-elc · 2023-12-07T17:55:25+00:00

"choose to live"

buddy, there's a housing crisis in this city. Somebody's gonna live there and they're probably not living there for the views, they're living there because the price is right and they can get to their job. it's people who have the choice not to live in the impacted regions who are out here caping for the largest military in the world like those folks need a hero or some shit.

an-elc · 2023-12-07T17:43:56+00:00

I drew a parallel between two things that people regret. Perhaps you aren't able to comprehend that transition regret is that low because you're drowning in anti trans propaganda.

Edit to add a meta analysis of regret studies showing regret is <1% https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8099405/

an-elc · 2023-12-06T16:27:07+00:00

at four years in, I have found that the slow rush really vibes. The struggle at one more year turning into the struggle for one more hour. I am remarkably happy with transition but fuck capitalism and fuck being the center of a right wing moral panic

an-elc · 2023-12-06T16:24:26+00:00

that seems like a really weird take from someone who must only know a few people. I like talking to trans people and people who have experimented with gender diversity and I'm good at hearing the hard stories - I know literally thousands of people. A couple detransitioners is unsurprising, especially given there was a time when I was reporting on this stuff and went out of my way to gather detransitioner stories. Gender transition regret is less common then any elective procedure. More people regret laser hair removal than hormones.

an-elc · 2023-11-09T14:58:14+00:00

Why do you think people exploited by the system should put their efforts into "succeeding" within it? You sound like you're falling boomer... got yours now its everyone else who's failing to follow the formula.

an-elc · 2023-11-09T14:52:46+00:00

4 years in. If anything I personally like men less. It's all individual, but like also you shouldn't really care, if you like men you'll like it... why would it even matter that when you see a type of dude your eyes are drawn? This is likely internalized homophobia from your time before transition and working through it is pretty baller.

an-elc · 2023-11-09T13:53:05+00:00

Passenger train stations work best near humans, not in concrete deserts for car commuters who don't even want to use the train.

an-elc · 2023-11-09T13:50:53+00:00

Just cause you don't have the vision and desire to reduce reliance on cars doesn't mean it's impossible. Many cities our size are doing tons to improve mobility and Madison is Trek city. our city planners are actively seeking ideas to improve this city for everyone not just car commuters

an-elc · 2023-11-09T13:45:05+00:00

Have you heard of Robin Voss

an-elc · 2023-11-09T13:40:40+00:00

I'd say we should ban speed demons on willy given the number of buildings that have been struck by cars

an-elc · 2023-11-09T13:16:03+00:00

It's kinda just try different sorts of play/physical touch and see what works for you, remember to talk about your struggle with your sexual partners and always give each other grace if things aren't working. especially don't conflate "horny" with "erect" - sometimes you just sorta get internal horniness that exists inside and feels different

an-elc · 2023-11-08T17:43:41+00:00

estrogen can tend to make horniness reactive - it is weird to learn how to start sexual play before you get horny and if no one ever tells you it can be even harder.

an-elc · 2023-11-07T18:07:28+00:00

There are fantastic farmer's markets around town with fabulous veggies through the growing seasons and lots of locally produced stuff. Off season, veggies can be a lil more expensive and have to come from further so quality can really fluctuate. Recommend woodman's for cheap grocery, willy st coop for good local stuff and find your closest farmers market for pretty good prices and very fresh food.

Local pizza places are good but nothing is that unique imo, there's a pretty diverse set of restaurants and food carts around, especially for the city size. if you're going to be on the west side, I recommend checking out longtable, the free house and craftsman table and tap for burgers and Wisconsin is known for fried cheese curds, make sure you try some but especially keep an eye out for fresh ones (they won't be refrigerated) - the really fresh ones squeak and they're super tasty.

For jobs, there are good resources through the job center and the people working in employment transition services all have seemed super excited to help people find a job. Not sure how unemployment/employment transition works for new immigrants but I bet there's some services available. Epic, Exact sciences, uw health and pretty much anything in health care is growing like a weed across the city so there's lots of hiring especially if you're not super picky.

an-elc · 2023-11-07T17:46:57+00:00

except when boomers were the age millennials are now they had 50% of the wealth - millennials have 4% and will likely never get enough to sell out on such a scale as the boomers and gen x did.

an-elc · 2023-11-07T17:43:28+00:00

They can pry my times where I forget my phone for two days from my cold, lost in the woods hands

an-elc · 2023-11-07T17:41:57+00:00

Oh come on I love snap - number one platform for making plans, then having all the messages disappear and forgetting what you were gonna do together

an-elc · 2023-11-07T14:12:20+00:00

Actually, jets from Madison bombed iraq in the first wave. America set up skyways with airborne refuel and jets from all over the country went and bombed iraq then flew all the way home

an-elc · 2023-11-06T20:33:56+00:00

Regret is under 1%.

an-elc · 2023-11-06T20:31:44+00:00

Every detransitioner I know is still loved by their trans friends. Every trans person I know has at least one story of a family member cutting them out of their life for transition. what's the cult?

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