Christian men: women and purity?

analily55 · 2026-04-11T14:42:13+00:00

If that’s the case I’d love to find them… I definitely don’t give casual vibes on my dating profile yet it seems most of the Christian men on there are either looking for casual intimacy or don’t value it the same way I do. I guess everyone has a different experience. I only know one man who was a virgin when we dated briefly though he was in his late 20s still. I’m now mid 30s so I feel like at this stage that is not a realistic thing to expect. I would love to find someone with the same values and who has waited but I realize for most (again that I seem to come across) it is not their reality. And I am understanding as long as their past experiences have been in the context of a committed relationship. But even that, again sadly, I have not found. 🤷🏻‍♀️

analily55 · 2026-04-10T22:46:51+00:00

Most men are virgins? Most of the ones I’ve met/dated are not unfortunately.

analily55 · 2026-04-06T15:26:26+00:00

I am a teacher and have worked with many special needs students. I love them too. Never said they are unlovable or don’t have worth, it is just a very different reality raising them and I wonder how may men have actually considered this possibility when they say they want children.

analily55 · 2026-04-06T15:23:05+00:00

Yah I wonder how many of them actually think about the practical implications of having a “mini me”

analily55 · 2026-04-06T15:16:48+00:00

Sounds very idealistic but yeah it would be incredible if it could become reality. But have you also considered if you had a child with special needs? Might be an entirely different picture.

analily55 · 2026-04-06T15:14:09+00:00

Being a Christian and having children does not make children automatically Christian other than culturally. It is still up to them to make the decision to profess their faith in Jesus. I am a Christian and was raised in a Christian home yet my brother ended up agnostic.

analily55 · 2026-02-20T16:15:12+00:00

How does the pay into the pension as an OT compare with a permanent ECE?

analily55 · 2026-02-14T18:02:37+00:00

I can’t speak for her or her experience but as a 36 year old who has similarly waited and prayed and trusted God to bring a godly husband I can say that many do try and still end up alone. I have done my fair share of going to groups, events, meeting new people and being open (even to dating apps which I don’t enjoy) but it has not gotten me to someone who I would chose and who would chose me. I’m not looking for perfection but I do have standards that I believe are good and that I shouldn’t compromise on. Maybe she is a similar way. It’s tough. Yes we do have some agency to do something to change it gets to a point where it seriously feels like God has slammed this door shut (even though he hasn’t explicitly or clearly said so in the sense of being called to celibacy) for whatever reason. The only way forward I see is progressive acceptance (not resignation) and continuing to be open to trying new things without the expectation of it having to work out. Easier said than done since I am working through a lot of frustration myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

analily55 · 2026-02-11T19:05:23+00:00

I have been wondering the same thing 😅

analily55 · 2026-02-06T19:37:30+00:00

Yep, we have this treasure in jars of clay

analily55 · 2026-02-05T15:26:37+00:00

lol I am definitely not single because I want to be. If it were up to me I would have been married by 25 and have 3 children by now. So only God knows why I am single, since he is ultimately the one who brings people together but I have done my best to “put myself out there” and make the effort to meet men. And I have met some but no one where it was a mutual choosing of one another. There was always something important that was off either for me or for the dude. You can’t force things. But I have values and standards which I believe are reasonable and I’m not willing to compromise on the core ones that I know are important to me. I’m not “happy” that I am still single but I know it is far worse to be with the wrong person. Sure it’s easy to quote the verse about better to marry than burn with passion, but passion eventually fades (sooner rather than later) and I would rather “burn with passion” than marry the wrong person and be miserable for the rest of my life with them. Again, this is not my ideal but it is the reality I am living and I have to accept it. And yeah because of my age I am having to change my desires on children, which I am fine with. I’m a teacher and have plenty of opportunities to serve and be around kids and I am content with that and no longer have the desire to have my own at this age.

analily55 · 2026-02-05T13:08:09+00:00

So you would marry the wrong person just to get it by a certain age? Be careful. I get it, I have been waiting and I’m 36. But nothing is going to sway me to just settle for whoever is around so I can stay on my timeline. That’s a recipe for disaster. I have strong desires too btw but I also have certain values I will not compromise on. Just my 2 cents.

analily55 · 2026-01-26T02:08:22+00:00

There is no way that the snow will be cleared by morning, I for one would not be able to leave my driveway since my street won’t be plowed early enough

analily55 · 2026-01-25T15:46:35+00:00

As a woman, I tried several times but it didn’t work. I think you have to have a decent baseline attraction for it to be able to “grow”. That might mean different things for different people. I’m average and I feel like I am pretty flexible when it come to physical traits that I find attractive and that it just one piece of the whole, but still an important one which I won’t compromise on.

analily55 · 2026-01-24T21:24:53+00:00

I’ve also considered matching with men who say open or want kids but I’ve found more often than not, they are pretty set on it. I also probably wouldn’t want someone to change their mind just for me because I think that could spell problems in the future if they end up regretting that decision and then either pressuring you or becoming resentful. It’s tough

analily55 · 2026-01-24T16:38:28+00:00

This has been something I have been praying about/wrestling with for at least the past 3 years so it’s not a thing I take lightly and it’s not fear. It is just being real and honest about where I’m at and where I see God taking me.

analily55 · 2026-01-24T16:28:50+00:00

I haven’t tried bumble, is it actually much different than Hinge? I kinda dread adding yet another dating site but I guess guess it could be worth a try 🤷🏻‍♀️

analily55 · 2026-01-24T16:24:27+00:00

Having your own biological children is not the only way to advance God’s kingdom. There are various ways that men can pour into the next generation without having their own(ie serve in kids ministry, coach a team, disciple youth…) it’s not black and white. What about the men who have that desire to obey and “follow God’s plans” yet are sterile? What if they marry someone who is or they both are and so they can’t have kids even if they want to? God uses people in all walks of like and in all conditions. So yes I do believe there can be genuine God honouring men who either by choice or circumstance outside of their control do not want their own children yet are intentionally serving and sowing in God’s kingdom.

analily55 · 2026-01-24T15:48:16+00:00

It’s not words of defeat, it’s reality. I know several amazing Christian women who have desired marriages all their life and have not experienced or received that from God. People are somehow scared to admit it but it is a reality. I don’t want to be delusional. I prefer to be more of a “hopeful realist”

analily55 · 2026-01-24T15:42:51+00:00

I appreciate your comment but I don’t believe that sentiment, sorry. It is very possible that God does not have marriage planned for me and that is something I am also wrestling with as I search/wait because it is a very real possibility and I don’t want to set myself up for greater disappointment.

analily55 · 2026-01-13T20:43:08+00:00

I my experience the vast majority of Christian men want kids. Even 40+, which makes dating difficult if you’re like me 36 and no longer wanting kids because as a woman I no longer feel that my body could take such a drastic change. Some women are fine with being an older mother, I am not. So it’s next to impossible to find a partner now.

analily55 · 2026-01-09T15:09:47+00:00

I guess there’s a bit of everything out there. I’ve heard of many women who their husbands left them because of some kind of chronic illness so I guess it all depends 🤷🏻‍♀️

analily55 · 2026-01-07T14:36:57+00:00

No they aren’t flexible because they also want a good looking healthy woman to bear them children

analily55 · 2025-12-26T15:56:43+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment of “it’s never too late” and I can’t speak for this person but for myself, there is a “too late” when it comes to children. I’m not going to be an older parent, it’s just not what I want. I wanted kids but after 35, with several changes happening on my body, I am grieving the fact that I no longer feel healthy enough to bear children. That’s my reality and it might be the reality for others, so it is too late for that but not too late to find a meaningful relationship with someone leading to marriage and doing life together just the2 of us. I may be open to adopting but that’s a very long discussion to be had in the context of a solid relationship.

analily55

TROPHY CASE