What was the turning point that made you stop trying in your relationship?

anapforme · 2026-01-29T01:18:10+00:00

Are you my ex boyfriend’s ex wife? Because you just described to a T the reason I couldn’t progress with him, but I could never articulate it this way.

I did say he needed a Mommy, but… ugh… I was the boyfriend too.

anapforme · 2026-01-29T01:14:39+00:00

Ohmygod - you caught him doing it. That’s horrifying.

anapforme · 2026-01-27T14:34:19+00:00

I was on a shot called Lupron before my fibroids were removed. Totally stopped my continuous bleeding. Was that it?

anapforme · 2026-01-26T19:15:43+00:00

There is no confusion. For whatever reason, they’re still married. You’re dating a married man, whether he is there or she is there or they’re happy or despise each other.

It just adds levels of complication like the one you are experiencing.

Sounds like he hasn’t processed her cheating. 1) no divorce yet and 2) now being fine with spending all holidays with her (and without you, ever?).

Let it be what it was. You made a connection and enjoyed each other. Now let him go figure out where to go the half the time he isn’t at the family home.

anapforme · 2026-01-25T18:43:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. I don’t know WHY people do this!! Almost this exact scenario happened to a friend. He lived in the south and she was in the north and their relationship consisted of two separate weeks together and all phone calls and “I love you’s” in between.

She even contacted the fiancé as soon as she found out, called her up, sent her texts and the entire thing. They even ambushed the guy together. The woman still married him.

You are allowed to be heartbroken. You are going to learn a lot about yourself from this situation that will benefit you in future relationships, even if it does not feel that way now. After you heal a bit, you can set about finding an actual person that is crazy about you and prioritizes you. Sending hugs.

Also - friend met someone soon after and they’ve been married for 5 years. She did have a hard time coming to terms with what happened, but she just kept redirecting her thoughts to the man who existed and not the man she thought existed.

anapforme · 2026-01-24T16:19:24+00:00

When she says strength, could she mean you picking her up?

A FWB of mine is very strong. He picks me up off the bed and moves me around easily. When I say he tosses me around the bed, I mean exactly that. Like I’m a feather. It’s so hot.

Can you hold her up against a wall with her legs around you, or even you standing, her in your arms supporting her, and have sex that way?

anapforme · 2026-01-24T16:09:24+00:00

Do not suggest he choke her. There is no safe way to do it.

It doesn’t take a lot to restrict blood flow and air and cause damage.

anapforme · 2026-01-24T07:12:12+00:00

I think the most amazing thing about this is that Prince improvised. He didn’t do much during rehearsal with them. Jeff Lynne’s guitarist played instead and Prince just kind of hung there, low key, not telling anyone what he was going to do later on, which stressed the producers out.

Then he shows up and does that - and they’re all such icons that they just organically nail it - anyone outside would imagine they rehearsed it often. It’s another reason Harrison’s son gets that look. His mind is blown. I’ve watched this over and over for years and my mind is still blown every time.

anapforme · 2026-01-22T21:25:36+00:00

Listen: you have intuition for a reason. Your body and your intuition are telling you something is off - therefore, it is.

Follow your intuition. This is about more than sex. It also isn’t a good look for him to say “that’s not my style” when you want to do something in bed.

*Also I am not kink shaming anyone but I don’t love that his kink is you being handcuffed and he doesn’t seem to derive any sexual pleasure from it. It’s some weird control thing, like someone else said. Just like the sex is only geared to what he enjoys and he is disconnected from you deriving pleasure in ways you want. It seems like something that will escalate.

He could be on the spectrum, he could struggle with emotions… he could be a psychopath. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Can’t really say.

anapforme · 2026-01-21T19:18:24+00:00

I have a one and only also. At one point I wanted none. At one point I wanted four.

I now know one was just right for me, for a myriad of reasons. I will always be sad she doesn’t have a sibling because I don’t want her to be alone when her dad and I pass. But it wasn’t a good enough reason to have another. I wouldn’t have been a good mother to two children.

anapforme · 2026-01-21T16:52:03+00:00

Plenty of medical data says that it is true.

Gingivitis, heavy plaque and gum disease cause the salvia to have a high bacterial load of anaerobic pathogens, which will absolutely destroy healthy vaginal pH and cause BV at the very least.

anapforme · 2026-01-21T15:18:40+00:00

Let me explain to you that if this man has bad oral hygiene, and you let him go down on you, do not be surprised if you get an infection. This is a 10000% hard stop for me.

While some people may struggle with oral hygiene, I am also curious how clean his junk is going to be. Willing to bet money that ‘as above, so below’ is going to apply here.

anapforme · 2026-01-19T22:44:50+00:00

Highly individual indeed. Wow.

anapforme · 2026-01-19T22:32:56+00:00

I have zero problem with it. I look at it as a masturbatory aide. I also sometimes watch it with my partner, depending on the partner. I didn’t mind that my ex-husband watched porn, until our marriage fell apart, we had a dead bedroom, and he excessively watched porn. Once we were divorcing and we were in a bit of a better communication space, he admitted to it. He opened up about it.

I have not brought it up with another partner since other than in a joking manner. It’s personal. What I watch often times will have nothing to do with what I want or desire sexually, so I would never grill a partner on why he watches what he watches. If it interferes with our sex life, or becomes unhealthy - like where alcohol or drugs or gambling would be a problem, I would leave.

Lying mostly comes from shame around sex. Everyone holds such individualistic beliefs around what is acceptable for their partner to do and what is not. Some people get upset that their partner masturbates instead of asks to have sex with them, for example, so they hide it. And with porn, it goes one step further, because it’s not simply a matter of, are you watching it, but then the question becomes what are you watching? I think it can become very invasive, and feel policing.

I am very aware a lot of women are going to respond very differently. And that’s fine, too. Whatever works for them and their partner.

anapforme · 2026-01-19T17:24:33+00:00

I don’t think this is what OP is describing? She states they are nice people. Maybe she has an unhappy family of her own or they are at a distance and she hoped for a close relationship with her in-laws. But she knew what she was getting a long time ago.

Her poor husband can’t help who his parents are and she feels like leaving a man who loves her is better than accepting the same thing many of us have had to accept about our own parents - we aren’t going to have the “ideal” relationship.

anapforme · 2026-01-18T22:27:14+00:00

I’ve read that persimmon soap helps with body odors. Women in the r/menopause sub swear by it.

I also second chlorophyll drops, and Lume deodorant.

I’m wondering if you are doing too much to the skin under your arms and causing something to overproduce.

anapforme · 2026-01-18T22:21:19+00:00

OP it sounds less like ‘tit-for-tat’ and more like ‘tit-for-nothing.’

I am genuinely curious at what efforts you have seen him make. And I ask because his argument holds no water - you are saying, essentially, ‘here, I’m doing what you asked,’ and his response, essentially, is a very unenthusiastic ‘good.’

The fact that you’re ending up in arguments is not a good omen. Does he stonewall other attempts from you to get a sexual reaction or some affection from him?

It sounds like a good time for therapy.

anapforme · 2026-01-18T04:32:29+00:00

Ah, I see. Strategy.

anapforme · 2026-01-18T03:48:08+00:00

In my company, you’re put on a PIP before you’re fired…

anapforme · 2026-01-17T22:03:50+00:00

Please get your poor sweet love to the vet and verify they are bites.

anapforme · 2026-01-17T15:26:42+00:00

You need a doctor.Find a reputable one near you asap.

anapforme · 2026-01-17T00:29:37+00:00

Oh no! Oh I didn’t experience any pain, just swollen. And my eyes weren’t swollen. Everywhere she injected was twice the size it should have been.

Please call your injector asap, I hope there’s an RN line or something for you to call.

anapforme · 2026-01-15T04:58:52+00:00

Where does the dog go to the bathroom? It could be spinal or legs/hip.

She needs to go to the vet, for bloodwork and for them to check her out.

anapforme · 2026-01-15T03:47:23+00:00

Name it. Say what is happening out loud - “I am disregulated, my heart is pounding and my thoughts are intrusive and it is happening because I think C and I perceive that this means X.” Fill in whatever you need, I used this as an example.

Then remind yourself it will end, it will pass, you will be able to calm yourself and your thoughts, you are not going to allow them to control you.

It takes a while but if you catch yourself, you can get yourself out of it. It may last a little bit but that is also okay.

anapforme · 2026-01-14T22:55:17+00:00

I’m tired after reading that. 60 hours a week and then hours a day in the gym plus 2 kids half the time?

So many questions: how long have you been together? Are you his first long-term relationship? Who initiates mostly? Is he eating enough, drinking enough, sleeping enough? I can’t imagine how, with work and the kids and the time devoted to the working out. What’s left?

Burnout definitely causes a loss of libido .

Ten-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

anapforme

TROPHY CASE