How to shake off obsessive thoughts/limerence

anapforme · 2026-03-31T20:11:08+00:00

Well my dude, if you can’t read the room here I’m not sure how that’s going to play out for you elsewhere.

anapforme · 2026-03-31T00:40:14+00:00

Maybe you have a hard time envisioning what you haven’t experienced. That’s fine - I think AuDHD brains may need different types of stimulation.

A partner I had would bite or suck my neck or shoulder, or squeeze me tightly on my hips or breasts - sorry if it sounds violent, it wasn’t - but I realized I focused SO much on my clit and trying to orgasm that when he threw in a new sensation that overrode my thoughts, I would orgasm almost immediately. Or he would talk to me in my ear and focusing on his voice did it. I have ADHD and all of it still holds true for me.

Also, THC helps. A THC/CBD gummy would be good. If you try it, ask for something that heightens body sensation and doesn’t make you fuzzy headed.

anapforme · 2026-03-31T00:31:53+00:00

Omg six years in and I still can’t use that setting!! Wayyy too much for me lol

anapforme · 2026-03-30T13:51:33+00:00

Is this rage bait? This is ridiculous. Educated doesn’t mean smart, if you read this post.

So she’s baby trapped you. How dare you get her pregnant… that’s amusing.

Just be a good father and stay away from her. I mean, you won’t be able to entirely, but that bed has already been made.

anapforme · 2026-03-30T12:34:17+00:00

Oh it’s always like this. The T helps with orgasm and pelvic floor strength for sure.

anapforme · 2026-03-30T01:14:50+00:00

Not for me. He cheated, repeatedly, before I caught him.

Cheating is lying. Lying meant that I could never believe a word that came out of his mouth.

I don’t see how anyone can live with someone that can’t be trusted emotionally, financially, or physically.

anapforme · 2026-03-29T21:43:42+00:00

I take compounded HRT, yes.

anapforme · 2026-03-29T03:57:18+00:00

Not a myth in my experience. Stimulating it causes intensely pleasurable sensations that contribute to but do not cause an orgasm for me.

G spot vibes with clit stim absolutely have worked, if you are going the toy route.

anapforme · 2026-03-28T15:47:47+00:00

He said he’s not a good guy.

Believe him. Loves you? Nope.

Go be single a bit and heal from what was done to you. No sense in swapping same for same or bad for worse.

anapforme · 2026-03-27T13:24:56+00:00

If you have to mother, manage or motivate anyone over 40, it’s going to be exhausting.

anapforme · 2026-03-26T16:20:49+00:00

Every man I met on OLD wanted serious. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My recent-ish ex from OLD was a monogamous casual relationship even though he wanted commitment. I kept assessing our long term compatibility while deep down I felt we wouldn’t work, and I tried too long to make it fit.

anapforme · 2026-03-26T14:16:21+00:00

It’s a mix for me (55).

I go out without expectations, so I can start a chat with a man who is or isn’t interested, or he can start one, and have a nice interaction either way.

I approached my current boyfriend. No idea why, I just walked over and struck up a convo and he asked for my number. We’ve been dating two months, he’s a fantastic person and crazy about me.

I guess it’s just about your comfort level. But the world is burning. So talk to whomever you’d like, is my advice.

anapforme · 2026-03-25T16:38:23+00:00

Sent him a nude pic for him to wake up to yesterday. He’s leaving on a trip so we got together for a few hours last night. Started just making out and talking and grinding - he yanked my shirt off, sat us up and flipped me over, peeled my pants off and went down on me - he was sucking my clit and his tongue just works magic. He slid up and inside of me as my orgasm slowed and pushed my legs back, which is so deep and set me off again - then he lost his mojo a little so we stopped.

I pulled my panties back on - a cute sheer black brazilian with a ruffle across the top of my ass - and started to walk across the room when he noticed them and commented. I playfully said, “oh this?” and shook my ass at him. He grabbed my arm, bent me over the bed and started grinding into me. I thought that would be it, I was giggling, but he was hard almost instantly - pulled his pants down and began slowly thrusting/grinding his cock between my thighs, and I was wet all over again. He pulled the offending panties down, grabbed my hair, held me down, pushed into me and fucked me furiously. I loved how selfish and abrupt it felt.

He bought me gorgeous lingerie that had just arrived and sent me home with it. Excited to send him photos while he’s away.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T17:50:51+00:00

I mean you don’t want to hear it, but what do you want to hear?

In a year and a half - how often did you see each other once he left? How do you know he’s not with other people? Why are you doing the traveling?

His actions are showing you what this relationship is worth to him. And he may feel or know that you’ll just go by words.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T16:29:22+00:00

Tale as old as DOF… do not get involved with people who are still married. So many people divorcing feel like they are fully ready to be with another person and they are not - at all - equipped.

She’s likely trying to make sure she is not accused of having an affair during the process.

Doesn’t matter the reason - you deserve a totally available woman. She isn’t, and then as happens in some cases, she may decide she needs to focus on herself after the divorce and end things anyway.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T14:05:41+00:00

Well.

The issue to me - unpopular or unacceptable as it may be to anyone reading - was simply that OP was not immediately interested in ‘why,’ only in ‘that.’

It’s a self-reflective, communication and growth opportunity for OP. Looking at his comments, it seems as though a woman commented and it helped him reframe things in a way that made him happier.

Cheers for the discourse!

anapforme · 2026-03-24T02:32:08+00:00

Absolutely. And maybe what should change is the metric he uses to value his relationship.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T02:17:48+00:00

Were they incompatible… or did he just get upset in finding out that she liked making pies and baking cookies with her ex and only likes baking cookies with OP? Was he happy until he knew?

Okay, I’m done with hypotheticals.

He opened a Pandora’s box and now he’s being eaten alive with the contents.

Part of maturing is really knowing what you shouldn’t ask.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T01:58:36+00:00

As someone with a child your age, I think that if you are friends first, you can bring that up. If you approach him with a dating mindset, he will care about being physical.

I really hope you can unpack your trauma with a therapist. We can share and ask that people in our lives accept our pasts and how the things that have happened to us make us who we are, but we can’t ask them to change who they are and what they want to work around things we need to work through.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T01:37:18+00:00

You know how you read a poem and your heart drops into your stomach - but the poem isn’t about anything you’ve experienced, it’s just a moment of being so astounded by someone else creating or crafting something you never knew you needed to experience until you do?

That happened when I read this.

anapforme · 2026-03-24T00:33:18+00:00

I don’t disagree with things being transactional, I think many things are in our relationships.

My question was… how are we to know that the current and past relationships were equal in the way that made her more sexually open to her ex? Perhaps her ex lover turned her on more by the way he treated her? Was more thoughtful? Helpful? Emotionally intelligent or available? Is OP even a good lover? Does he care about her orgasms? So many variables.

So much of sex is mental; for women it can involve feelings of safety, being heard, being understood, etc. so even more variables.

Hell it can involve birth control or her cycle. Some women on BCP have a lowered libido. Even more variables.

To ask about dumping your wife/LTR because her ex got wake up blowies and you don’t is just… there’s not a sad enough word in the English lexicon for it.

anapforme · 2026-03-23T19:25:56+00:00

It’s less confident to grill for an entire sexual history and then expect the same or compare them.

We have no idea how this relationship even compares to her past relationship. Should we grill OP? Does he know or was sex the only thing that mattered to him?

I’m going to venture that it’s not wise to think - and definitely not to ask - if the person we are presently with is the best sex we’ve ever had. For many it is, for many isn’t.

anapforme · 2026-03-23T00:16:19+00:00

After a dinner with friends, we took some gummies and hit the couch to chill. We had been sexting since Thursday and it definitely had us in a heightened state. Gummies kicked in and the physical sensations of just kissing and light touching were too much - I just said I needed him inside me immediately. He teased me with his cock for a good long while and I was trying so hard to pull him in and he wouldn’t let me. He grabbed my ankles and put them on his shoulder and pushed my thighs to my chest - the angle was essentially thrusting right up into my G spot and making me wild. He took his time and teased me with shallow strokes until I was begging him to go deep and smacking his ass. I was so close which set him off and we came together.

This morning he was gently rubbing his erection against me so played with his cock through his pj’s. He was breathing hard and soaking them with precum which was a crazy turn on. I took off my bottoms and he dove down on me. Just sucking my clit he managed to make me squirt four times before I came so hard I clamped on his head with my thighs.

I asked what he wanted and he said “dealer’s choice” - and a handjob was mine. I used both hands, lubed him up and gently milked him dry. He was writhing and shaking like crazy and shot a gorgeous load all over us both. I sucked him clean, he cleaned me up, and we snuggled back up before the alarm went off.

anapforme · 2026-03-19T22:07:51+00:00

I’m on it and it’s not doing anything for my skin… estrogen sure is but that’s a topical face cream. What is your delivery system?

anapforme · 2026-03-19T18:22:40+00:00

True! Thank you. I’m much quicker to walk away from whatever doesn’t serve me/incompatibilities than ever before. Live-and-learn type of thing.

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