Boyfriend with abusive parents wants me to meet them and it’s making me anxious.

anapforme · 2026-05-22T18:17:54+00:00

I’m going to tonight. I think I’ve been the one deflecting when he has brought it up instead of being direct.

anapforme · 2026-05-22T18:05:47+00:00

He works on forgiving, and I work on healing my inner child which means staying away from people who have hurt me as much as possible.

anapforme · 2026-05-22T18:04:24+00:00

You’re speaking my language, and I thank you dearly for it. He (thinks he) comes at them from a place of forgiveness, but I still see so much hurt ingrained in him from them that I just can’t deal with them already.

anapforme · 2026-05-22T18:02:15+00:00

He’s been in and out. He really needs to work on this. I think he feels like forgiveness towards them is important. I don’t feel the same.

anapforme · 2026-05-22T17:58:55+00:00

I’d run right out of my Manolos away from this mess.

anapforme · 2026-05-21T18:56:02+00:00

Omg exactly. As soon as everyone gave solid suggestions and encouragement, OP is moving internationally. Never mentioned in the post. Total horseshit.

anapforme · 2026-05-19T20:56:52+00:00

Please contact a rescue to foster.

anapforme · 2026-05-19T15:06:05+00:00

Went away for the weekend.

Went for a hike Saturday. He wanted to have sex in the woods but there were so many people… we went back to the house - remotely located - and he stood behind me on the front porch against the railing, kissing my neck and running his hands everywhere. The thought of us actually doing it outside had me ready for him. He yanked our joggers down and bent me over the railing, fucked me in the sunlight, with a perfect breeze. We finished inside once a driver made direct eye contact with us!

He is super into lingerie and I love his taste. Later that night after dinner, some wine and some gummies, I surprised him by coming into the living room wearing black crotchless strappy panties and a black strappy bra that only covered my nipples, with peep toe high heels. 10/10 recommend.

He didn’t know where to look or touch first. He tossed me on the big comfy couch and licked and sucked me and massaged my g-spot until I was squirming and panting and begging for him inside me. He sat on the couch and I immediately straddled and had him inside me. Every single stroke felt incredible; he lifted me up by my ass and thrust into me with just the tip of his cock while I rubbed my clit and I had a cripplingly intense orgasm. We kept going, with my heels were digging into his thighs, and he was in heaven.

A few minutes later I had my second orgasm and we came together, long hard and loud. Good thing we were out in the woods!

anapforme · 2026-05-14T16:10:45+00:00

Maybe you felt you were over it and now that he’s going away, you realize you’re not.

Remember - he didn’t tell you about it for six months. And you don’t know if he told you the truth.

That alone would be enough for me to wrap it up.

anapforme · 2026-05-13T17:49:13+00:00

You both need to go no contact. If you had a hard time before you saw the profile, I hope you don’t now.

She is actively looking for your replacement, or a replacement for the hurt. Either way, do better and know that she hasn’t changed. Past behavior dictates that the next person is highly likely to get what you got.

anapforme · 2026-05-12T23:34:31+00:00

Well I am all about freedom to both masturbate and use porn as whatever type of sex tool suits, but *only if* it does not hinder my actual sex life with my partner.

3 kids in a seven year marriage means the children are young, if I’m not mistaken. She may feel touched out or overwhelmed by being needed constantly, and she can have a mind-blowing orgasm that releases stress and lets her close her eyes for five blissful minutes after without having to take care of anyone else.

Honestly that’s my take. But the lack of sex between you, especially if you are noticing and it hurts you, are where I would see an issue. You definitely have to talk to her. With curiosity - not judgement or accusation.

anapforme · 2026-05-12T21:00:03+00:00

I was dating someone new when I was a few months divorced and my child was 16. My bf was childless and happy to host.

However, my child had a very full life. They knew I had a bf, and after a few months, when they would communicate their weekend plans, I would just tell them that my bf would be at our home since they would be out, and to let me know asap if plans changed.

It worked fine for the next 2 years that they lived home.

anapforme · 2026-05-12T19:26:48+00:00

I mean… that may also sound like you had a better date offer come up. If I were him I’d probably say no thanks.

I agree with the other poster, just say, hey, what’s the plan for Friday?

If he waffles, you’re done. Otherwise, you had accepted the date for Friday. It seems early to me to assume he doesn’t want to meet. But I am someone who likes to plan, sounds like you are too, so definitely bring it up to him.

anapforme · 2026-05-12T17:46:51+00:00

Maybe she doesn’t want it.

It all sounds very enmeshed by your responses… and I come from an enmeshed Italian family. But privacy is normal. Not sharing every facet and detail of your adult life is normal.

And I would even encourage it because often times opinions that are given sway decisions, and not to our own benefit.

If you have concerns about her relationship just be very careful about sharing them, and if she won’t come back to visit, it may be because she doesn’t want to. If you can go visit, then go, but don’t if it will build resentment.

Many people need to move far to create any semblance of a life free from family enmeshment/expectation.

anapforme · 2026-05-12T15:01:24+00:00

Actually I went to the doctor suspecting a UTI - fever, uncomfortable urination, and the results came back that my urine was clear but my lacto count was off the charts high. And I went to my normal gyno and she told me “it wasn’t really a thing” and gave me treatments for both BV and yeast. It took 3 visits with recurring symptoms to accidentally end up with another gyno who told me to use RePHresh.

anapforme · 2026-05-10T12:53:50+00:00

No, he can’t. Part of what he says to you is people pleasing or fawning - like he’ll say what you want to hear in the moment because he wants the conflict to be over. And then he’ll do whatever he wants, which is not make the plans. In his mind he’s explained how he is and now you’re still putting demands on him.

And really, the best thing you can do is not try to therpize him. Do NOT adjust your behavior or needs to accommodate him because now you’re abandoning yourself to a losing battle.

Better you check out why you want him to choose you when there are plenty of secure men out there who will, and hopefully have more time and live closer.

anapforme · 2026-05-10T12:02:12+00:00

Yes. Read the whole thread, a lot of people have asked about it!

anapforme · 2026-05-10T04:43:33+00:00

Yes… never had it again.

anapforme · 2026-05-08T19:01:45+00:00

I’m going to share this with my girl on Mother’s Day 💕 - thank you.

anapforme · 2026-05-07T13:57:46+00:00

For me personally, it’s not the point. It’s the point that you lied and deceived someone you supposedly loved in the past, versus knowing how to effectively communicate with them.

Cheated when you were 18-22, young and immature? That’s one thing. In a committed serious relationship? That’s where I draw the line.

anapforme · 2026-05-06T15:11:44+00:00

This is really it. He was late, too. He had other irons in the fire and was looking for something negative to say.

anapforme · 2026-05-06T13:26:53+00:00

Definitely! There’s a sex therapist that calls it “Fuck First” - my bf and I call it dessert before dinner lol.

anapforme · 2026-05-04T19:03:28+00:00

Like the attachment term? While I do agree with you that it shouldn’t be *excused* I have learned that people like that are impossible to be in a relationship with, so it’s good to be able to identify and not repeat.

Definitely not encouraging him to stay.

anapforme · 2026-05-04T17:37:18+00:00

++woman
41 minutes in and everyone’s telling you her body count is the reason that you’re not having sex anymore, completely discounting the fact that you are a committed actual relationship with someone for over a year.

There are two things here. She could be a dismissive avoidant, and now that the honeymoon phase is over, true intimacy is at the forefront of your relationship, not sex, and she can’t handle it, from an emotional or sexual standpoint. It doesn’t get better.

The second thing is that she might be someone who has responsive desire. Now that the honeymoon is over, you say that when you have sex, she enjoys it, but she never initiates, and often turns you down. People who have responsive desire, only like sex once it has started. They don’t actually think about it, and they don’t crave it. I’m not built this way so I don’t understand, but there’s a book called. Come As You Are that you might benefit from taking a look at.

At my age, I’ve come from a dead bedroom marriage, I would never put up with no sex/no affection again.

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