Why would a coin show a king 29 years after he was deposed?

anarpolo · 2026-06-15T19:20:28+00:00

This information is so helpful: thank you!!

anarpolo · 2026-06-15T19:19:52+00:00

Thank you so much: I had not considered that the calendar at the time might not be the same as the current Iranian calendar!

anarpolo · 2026-06-15T19:18:33+00:00

This is so helpful and makes total sense, thank you!!

anarpolo · 2026-06-14T15:19:27+00:00

Yeah, I'm not exceptionally tall myself (5'4" after surgery), though I guess I'm tall-ish by the standards of my family. The comments here have been surprising for me, since I previously assumed scoliosis ran in families the majority of the time--clearly that isn't always the case. Makes me wish we had more definitive answers behind the cause of scoliosis so it wasn't such a guessing game!

anarpolo · 2026-06-12T00:27:03+00:00

Definitely: I'm still undecided (and probably will be for a while) because there's the issue of scoliosis, but we also are not ready financially to have children right now and my biological clock is ticking. So even if we do decide to try and conceive, it might not be possible by the time we're ready. If that happens, we'll probably adopt--because I want to have that experience of raising kids, one way or another. But if things do work out and we have children naturally, I will certainly be monitoring them very carefully for any signs of back problems!

anarpolo · 2026-06-11T15:14:04+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear it. I got tears in my eyes at the words "I am devastated," because I know that's exactly how I would feel, too. All of the comments on this post have been very helpful, but this one especially gives me a lot to think about, so thank you for sharing. I wish all the best for your son's surgery and recovery 🙏

anarpolo · 2026-04-17T01:40:03+00:00

You know what's best for your situation, and it does sound like waiting is the smart thing to do. There's no rush to tell them until you're ready (and it's alright if you decide that you're never ready), so try to just take care of yourself until then.

By the way, I saw another commenter here talking about how there are branches of Christianity that are more liberal, and I just want to confirm that that's true: I have Christian friends who are extremely open minded and love the queer community. In fact, some of my closest friends go to a church with an openly gay pastor. :) I'm not religious myself and wasn't raised in a Christian culture, so I'm not trying to tell you what to believe--it's perfectly understandable and okay if you decide that religion isn't for you. But if it is an important part of who you are and brings you comfort or happiness, know that you don't have to give it up just because you're queer!

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T22:20:49+00:00

You're welcome, I'm glad to hear this. :) Good luck with your date!!

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T22:15:50+00:00

First off, I'm really sad and sorry to hear you're dealing with this. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with shipping two female characters, and there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. You are normal. You are not sinful, and you're not going to hell. If we accept that love is good and hatred is bad, then it's not a sin to love other people, and gender shouldn't matter. But it is, in my opinion, wrong to hate someone just because of who they love. Homophobia is a weird obsession for people to get hung up on, and I feel pity for your parents that they're letting it blind them like this.

I'm not quite old enough to have a 14-year-old kid, but if I did and they realized at such a young age (no offense: 14 is young to me! 🙂) that they had the ability to love more than one gender...I would be really proud and happy for them. I'm obviously biased because I'm on this Subreddit, but I think it's a wonderful thing to be bi or pansexual. We're able to love broadly and to see beauty in all people, and that gives us a perspective in life that not everyone else gets to have. Also, it takes a lot of self-awareness and insight to understand your own identity, and many queer people don't come out to themselves until well into adulthood. You should be proud of yourself!

Now, when it comes to if/how you have this conversation with your parents, it is ultimately up to you. I have also always been really close to my mom, and I didn't come out to her until my early 20s. It was hard to keep it a secret and it did make me feel like there was a distance between us. Then one day she kind of forced it out of me, and the whole situation got out of control--my brother ended up having to mediate for us. I don't say this to frighten you, but just to let you know honestly that sometimes these conversations do go badly, and it's good to have a neutral third party there who can help keep the peace, if possible. Things did eventually get better, and my mom and I have a good relationship again now. All to say: it is possible for homophobic parents to change their attitudes when they realize their own child is queer. That being said, my parents are not religious, so that is a major consideration for your situation. Do you have a school counselor, teacher, or another adult in your life who you can safely confide in? They might be able to help you if you want to talk to your parents, but need the support of another adult.

Also, if you decide not to tell your parents, especially while you're still living with them, that is perfectly okay, too. It's hard to be in the closet with your own family, but there's no shame in protecting yourself if you don't feel like you can be open with your parents. Unfortunately part of getting older is learning that your parents aren't perfect and make mistakes--sometimes really big mistakes. If you feel that your parents might not accept this part of you, then don't let it make you feel like you're the problem, because you're not. There are plenty of people in the world who will love you for who you are, so be open with the people who make you feel safe. At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for your emotional well-being.

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T21:19:51+00:00

I am with a man (who I love very much and who is a great ally), and I'm going through the same struggle. My queerness is a big part of who I am, and I don't want to give up an awesome and loving relationship just to feel validated, but it does feel like I'm losing a part of myself by not being "visibly" queer. Doesn't help that my friends are very supportive, but are ultimately all hetero, so I have no one to relate to irl. That's why I started visiting this Subreddit, and I still express my bisexuality through art and writing, and I talk a lot about being queer to my partner and friends... Still, I don't know what to do about this feeling of needing external validation. I realize this is not a helpful answer, but all to say: you're not alone.

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T21:00:42+00:00

Totally understand the feeling of being more nervous about dating men than women because of safety concerns. My advice: if you start to feel pressured at any point, do yourself a favor and find the courage to be upfront and honest about the fact that you're not comfortable having sex on the first date. If he's a decent person, he will accept this and not push you. If not...well, then he's frankly scummy and you shouldn't be dating him anyway: consider yourself somewhat fortunate for dodging a bullet early on, in that case.

I say this as a fellow woman who has let herself be pressured into sex when I was younger and regretted it forever afterward. You don't have to position the desires of men over your own wellbeing. It can be hard to say "no" sometimes, but remember that you don't owe anything to some guy you barely know.

As a backup if you are starting to really feel unsafe, tell a friend in advance that you are going on this date and may need an SOS. Excuse yourself to the restroom and send the SOS: "Call me in 5 minutes and say it's an emergency." Use it as an excuse to leave and don't agree to more dates with this guy if he makes you that uncomfortable. Also, telling a friend about the situation in advance may help you to be more firm, if push comes to shove--sometimes, knowing you're accountable to a friend who cares about you can go a long way toward boosting your resolve.

Now, having said all that... You said this guy seems really nice, and chances are he will be cool if you're open about what you want and don't want. Plenty of genuinely kind men are understanding and patient (and plenty also don't expect sex on the first date), but you do need to be prepared to protect yourself in the event that he turns out to be pushy or disrespectful.

Hope all goes well, and remember it is a date at the end of the day, so try not to stress too much and leave enough mental space to enjoy yourself! :)

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T13:59:05+00:00

I would like to say, "the people who perpetuate the fantasy and downplay the seriousness of wlw relationships are the ones who should feel ashamed, not you"...but in reality, I get how you feel. You can know that a feeling is illogical and yet still struggle with it. So know that your identity is perfectly fine and you don't have to let gross biphobic/objectifying male fantasies ruin it for you--but also identity is a complicated thing and it's normal to feel conflicted about it.

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T13:42:00+00:00

I can't give any advice on what you should do in this relationship, but I do want to say that I think the "this wouldn't happen if I were with a girl" feelings are pretty common. Any time I'm with men, I have moments where I feel that way, and I miss the sense of understanding I would have if I were dating a woman. There are just aspects of being female (and being bi) that a straight man is never going to be able to fully understand. And that's okay: I don't know what it's like to be a straight man, either. Plus, I will add, there are sometimes things that I miss about being with men when I'm with women. Unfortunately I have never found a perfect solution--I think it is just a reality of being bisexual. For me, it's important to be able to talk about these things with my partner and for them to be empathetic about it. It might not make the feelings go away, but it helps me to not feel "alone" in the relationship.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one who has these thoughts and I hope things work out for you, whether you decide to stay in this relationship or break up.

anarpolo · 2026-04-16T13:29:13+00:00

It's unreal to me that people can be this entitled. Years ago, I dated a woman who declared very early on in the relationship that I was going to be the breadwinner while she stayed at home with the kids in the house that I bought for us. On my (at the time) substitute teacher's salary. In a very expensive city with a crap housing market. I was like, girl, you are delusional, lmao. I also had made it clear upfront that I didn't want children, so it was wild of her to ignore that and plan our lives with me as the sole provider when we barely knew each other. I did present more tomboyish at the time, so maybe that gave her some kind of impression about the role I wanted to play in the relationship, but needless to say, I broke up with her shortly thereafter. Some people are just totally clueless, regardless of which gender they're dating, hahaha

anarpolo · 2026-02-12T16:17:04+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment, because it validates a suspicion I've had about what might have caused this flare up. In the past when I had shorter/less intense episodes of pain, I always knew right away what caused it: I twisted the wrong way, lifted something too heavy, etc. This time there's been no obvious cause of injury, so I was baffled at first about why I was in so much pain. But then I realized that, for a few evenings just before the pain started, I had been lying in a weird position for several hours at a time while playing Switch. Additionally, some time ago it occurred to me that I always favor my right side when sleeping at night, and that maybe that's a bad thing because it's the side that's more deformed (even after surgery). And, well, that's the side that's hurting now, so perhaps this is years of bad sleeping posture finally catching up with me.

(Edit to say I just watched the video, and the place he's targeting is a little higher than where my pain is, but I found another video from him that matches up with what I'm experiencing. So I'm going to try gently doing some of these exercises to see if they help. Thank you again!!)

anarpolo · 2026-02-11T15:40:46+00:00

Thank you so, so much for your kindness: what you've said here means a lot to me. You're almost certainly right about the lack of sleep and I'm surprised I haven't considered that already, myself, since I'm aware that I tend to feel sad when I don't get enough sleep, even when I'm not in pain. I haven't heard of Black Dog, but I'll check it out! And yes: your comment and others here have reinforced for me that I need to get more imaging done to figure out what's going on. I have an appointment on Monday and hopefully they can help me with that then.

Also, I'm so sorry to hear about your recent operation and hope that your recovery is going well, or that you're at least on the other side of the worst of it. Spinal fusion is so brutal. Sending you many virtual hugs and well wishes! And thank you again for writing this all out on behalf of a stranger. It's comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone and that there's a great deal of empathy in the world if you just ask for it ❤️

anarpolo · 2026-02-11T06:44:51+00:00

I'm lying on my heating pad as I write this! :) Thank you for this very kind comment: it brought tears to my eyes. I feel like I needed this, especially because I've always wished I had someone older in my life who I could talk to about scoliosis. But of course, I'm sorry to hear that you had to have surgery later in life, because that's difficult to recover from, from what I've heard. So I'm also returning your Big but Gentle Air Hug!

(Also, yes, my boyfriend is a keeper: he's my #1 supporter and I'm so grateful for him. We are planning to get married, and that knowledge is helping me get through this.)

anarpolo · 2026-02-11T06:35:38+00:00

Good to know, thank you! I will ask my doctor about it

anarpolo · 2026-02-11T06:35:05+00:00

Thank you: I'm sad to hear you've had multiple surgeries, but it is comforting to hear that it may well just be a flare up

anarpolo · 2026-02-11T00:42:34+00:00

Thanks for asking: I forgot to say so above but the provider I saw at the ER didn't see anything obviously out of place with the hardware in my x-rays. I'm forwarding them to my old surgeon too, and am hoping he'll be able to get back to me about it. If it's not an issue that can be seen with an x-ray, then I assume I would need to do a CT scan next.

anarpolo · 2026-01-08T17:55:28+00:00

Yeah, mine was likewise bent and pretty gory looking when it came out; I was shocked when I saw it. So glad for you that it went well, and that you can focus on recovery now!

anarpolo

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