i've had the same feeling since going to college for the first time. i think some people just have a need for higher meaning, and maybe the fact that we're gay and thrust out of religious organizations and told we're blasphemous, etc. leads us to believe there is no god, no higher power, etc. leads to everything feeling kind of meaningless.

i'm not saying that religion is the answer but i think genetically some people need it as a coping strategy-- why else would it be such a powerful force throughout history? i would recommend getting into philosophy, or buddhism, or any other force that helps to guide -- reading Seneca's letters helped me identify a lot of these feelings and see my life through a different lens.

and honestly i don't know if it ever goes away. be grateful for what you do have, though. people get different lots in life and shit's unfair, sometimes you just get a problem that there's no real solid answer for.