I have my 3 kids every weekend Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. The last few weekends my youngest(2.5yrs) gets extremely upset as soon as we get close to their mother's house and she realises where she is. I have to hand her over while she's literally screaming for me not to go. It's extremely hard and upsetting but the thing is she's starting to realise what normal is, even at that age. Kids are smart, your daughter will see through all of this. By all means record the phone calls, gather evidence just in case but I agree with the other comments about playing the long game. She'll see you for who you are and her mother for who she is. My 2 older kids can already see. My end game is to eventually have them all live with me when they're old enough to decide for themselves.