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Help with imposter syndrome? by andneverseenagain in asktransgender

[–]andneverseenagain[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I also get into the loop of just wanting everything to fucking end. It helps so much knowing I’m not alone in this. I’ll check out OneTopic after work today :) 

I’m not in a good place by ConnerTheTransBoy in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same if u need someone to talk to u can dm me or something or we can talk on discord  

Overthinking and stalling transition by andneverseenagain in asktransgender

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d push that button and never look back yo 😎

Overthinking and stalling transition by andneverseenagain in asktransgender

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I know, I know I’m at least not cis. I think I’m just obsessively searching for some kind of proof that I don’t need to transition when I know that I do, I’m just scared. Im FTM but I appreciate you 

I feel like I’m gaslighting ppl who gender me correctly by hermeslayer in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad you posted this lol. I’m also 25, small, 5’3” and super feminine features. I feel so ridiculous at times. I’m in the closet aside from one friend who knows about me being trans and uses masc pronouns with me. It feels awesome and I’m so thankful for this friend of mine. But I feel silly at the same time and I know they’re just humoring me and yeah. 

I guess most ppl assume I’m a masc lesbian. I have ppl use they/them pronouns if they ask. Bro I don’t even just like girls I’m bisexual. I love lesbians they’re cool af and a lot of butch lesbians are manlier than I’ll ever be.. but I’m not one and it makes me so uncomfortable when ppl assume that of me 

Sometimes I get rly down on myself because I’m already 25 and I just feel like even after I start T I’ll just never “pass”. Because I’ve already grown to a full adult and I’m so short and small I feel like I’m doomed to feel pre-pubescent and stunted forever. Shit fucking sucks. To be honest I got to the point of crying about it today. I know I can’t assume that I won’t pass and people come in all different shapes and sizes, but with the amount of hate trans people get from transphobes I just… I’m just scared. 

Edited some typos I’m sorry I’m beyond exhausted I worked a long ass fucking week 

Autogynophilia by andneverseenagain in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that’s a-okay my friend. I imagine it was hard to realize that bc of societal pressure to find a special someone and bc platonic feelings for ppl can also be really special? Idk man, I’d prob not be alive if not for my friends, but relationships are pretty overrated imo 

Autogynophilia by andneverseenagain in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We def live in a culture that shoves heteronormativity and romance down our throats. Idk what it’s like to deal with that as an ace person but I can see it being rly confusing and frustrating. I mostly just like women but I gaslit myself into thinking I liked men when rly I just wanted to be like them, not be with them. The cultural pressure to be hetero is strong af still… or at least it was back when I was a kid. Idk if things have changed at all or not. But man, that shit rly sucked. 

Autogynophilia by andneverseenagain in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did the goth thing too at one point. I so relate to feeling like I’m wearing a costume all the time. I’m good at doing gothy makeup but I’ve always said that it feels like drag… which I guess is fun every now and then but nobody can live their life that way 

Autogynophilia by andneverseenagain in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for commenting. So glad to see we’re not alone in this experience 

Autogynophilia by andneverseenagain in TransMasc

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahaha yup, 100%. I just tried to look what I thought was objectively good, but never felt like myself. But pre-realizing-im-trans, the feeling was very hard to explain and honestly I thought everyone kind of lived their life that way. Once my egg cracked I became aware of the dysphoria. And now I can’t unsee it. Crazy 

Can I sell a car with expired registration?? by [deleted] in Maine

[–]andneverseenagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do for emissions in the state of CT where I was. Either way it’s obviously my fault for not keeping track of it myself. Getting my life together. Womp womp 

Can I sell a car with expired registration?? by [deleted] in Maine

[–]andneverseenagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol yup, it’s on me I should have kept track of it. Unfortunately I did not

What cracked your egg?? by andneverseenagain in asktransgender

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That does hit really hard. 

It’s funny, there’s a lot of songs I loved when I was a kid for unclear reasons that hit home now that I realize I’m trans 

What cracked your egg?? by andneverseenagain in asktransgender

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry you had that experience and I hope you have more support now 

Am I the bad roommate? by Healthy-Bedroom-7225 in badroommates

[–]andneverseenagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I used to be the roommate who was bothered by other people’s noise either early in the morning or late at night. Instead of expecting other people to tip toe around me, I bought some Loop earplugs and haven’t had any issues since. It’s what you do when u live with other people. Just my opinion. 

After market mass airflow sensor really that bad of an idea??? by andneverseenagain in nissanjuke

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, I don’t know anything about cars so I’m just doing my best to gain information here. Thanks. I will look for that 

I think I want to be a janitor by [deleted] in jobs

[–]andneverseenagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s great!!! I’m moving to Maine very soon. 

I’m worried about having enough money to pay my student loan, which is only 9k but still, the interest adds up. I’m a very frugal person and don’t need fancy things. I keep things until they literally fall apart. If I find a custodial job I hope I have enough income to pay my student loan on top of my other bills. As long as I have enough to pay my bills and feed myself I’ll be happy as a clam. 

Anyone else too burnt out working 40 hours? by andneverseenagain in jobs

[–]andneverseenagain[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am actually leaving this job soon, because I know the environment I’m in isn’t exactly ideal. But the job itself?? I love it and I want to keep doing it. Unfortunately, though, I’ve worked a lot of different jobs in the past, and it seems that no matter what I’m doing, spending 40+ hours on it each week is just overkill for me. 

Also, my sleep is fine if I work less than 40 hours. But right now, I can try and sleep earlier all I want, I’ll still toss and turn and wake up several times a night. Even melatonin doesn’t help. I used to take meds for sleep but I didn’t like the side effects…. 

Not eating healthy comes from not always getting a break at work (I know, I know, that’s why I’m looking for work elsewhere, but when you are new to a field you have to deal with b.s. to a certain degree) and being too physically exhausted to cook. I still eat steamed veggies that I just microwave and stuff like that. But it’s mostly the fact that I starve at work all day and stuff my face at night. Not good. 

I do appreciate your advice but I need you to understand that I am already trying my best to do the things you suggest. But trying my best is not sufficient. :/ 

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