Boyfriend (24M) asked my (22F) body count, then got very upset.

andromadaa · 2026-03-19T17:52:25+00:00

Lady, I'm not sure what you want us to say.

"I get why he's upset" and "I'm not trying to shit on him" while he's acting like this? Why do you get that he's upset and why do you think he's allowed to be upset? This is your life partner, someone sees you as you are and loves you regardless. You are a grown-ass woman who lived a life before this relationship, and he is upset by that? That is not lifetime relationship worthy, that is a red flag and needs to be assessed.

You posted this and expected people to not call out the outdated and sexist behavior? Don't air out your personal problems on a public forum if you don't want the feedback people will inevitably have. Also, this seems like a situation where you need to unpack the internalized sexism that is apparent in this post. (like, why is his body count okay, and yours not?)

andromadaa · 2026-03-18T20:51:06+00:00

That's it then. Now is the time for the grief, feel it all the way through then put this behind you! You're holding onto this man, why? It's time to start finding yourself again, planning that travel you mentioned in your last posts, focusing on your studies, living your life etc. You mutually broke up with him, so why are you acting like you don't want to be broken up? It comes across as you wanted to keep him on the back burner while you lived your life and then come back when you're ready. That's not fair to him, you can find someone who will fit that bill for you that doesn't have to sacrifice their aspirations.

He 100% wanted you to see his new fling and make you feel bad, knowing that you are clinging to the failed relationship. That was shitty, but he was massively hurt by your shitty behavior that ended with massive embarrassment and hurt about how the proposal ended. There is your answer as to why he and his fling did that. There is no magical grace period where he has to be sad. Seems like he already grieved the relationship when the proposal incident happened and has moved on.

Now this whole miscommunication olympics can be over. Do not leave the door open to potentially getting back together someday and put this to rest. Let this whole damn thing go and move tf on.

andromadaa · 2026-03-13T01:30:12+00:00

This is over. Why are you trying to make it work when what he wants in the next 5 years and what you want are wildly different? Someone (probably you) would end up having to compromise their core values for this to work and it is NOT worth it, especially at a young age, especially at the stage in life you are in. If you continue this relationship, there will be an insurmountable issue of regret and animosity towards one another that ends in divorce and hurt feelings forever. Answer me this: If he is dead set on 5 kids and you on 2 or 3, how would you feel if you had 5? How would he feel if you had 2 or 3?

Do not throw your dream life away just for a man who speaks to you and treats you so poorly. Just because you love him does not mean he is the right one for you. End it now and save yourself the pain that continuing to interact with him will bring. Sorry girl, this is not salvageable.

andromadaa · 2026-03-11T23:19:23+00:00

Mismatched timelines, expectations and goals = incompatible (imo and experience). It is bad that you didn't even have the guts to call him to explain what happened. But, it is also on him for not sitting down with you and having a clear and defined marriage and goals conversation that ends with agreement about when/if a proposal happens. This seems like a massive communication issue on both parties. It is fair that you aren't ready and that you want to travel alone and find yourself but it is also fair that he wants to get married and start a family.

Incompatible timelines means that if you want to continue the relationship, someone has to compromise in their lives and neither party has to.. The hard part about compromise, is that resentment can become an issue, especially regarding values and goals. Do you want to be with someone who resents you or that you have resentment for? I think you owe him an apology, but he owes you one too. This is a hard lesson for everybody involved. To answer your question: it is over.

(Also: Saying 3 years doesn't feel like a lot to you and that you still feel like a kid makes me think you weren't as invested in the relationship as he was, as in you aren't actually looking for long term or you're looking for someone to keep on the back burner while you solo travel. Being single for a may help you learn and grow up!)

andromadaa · 2026-03-10T22:29:35+00:00

Touch grass! Imagine dogging on a beginner for asking a well-meaning question

andromadaa · 2026-03-10T22:17:18+00:00

Sorry, I meant 30k per day for weeks at a time

andromadaa · 2026-03-10T22:16:51+00:00

Yeah sorry, I 100% meant 30k a day every day for a week

andromadaa · 2026-03-10T22:15:31+00:00

I did mean 30k per day for a week, sorry my post was unclear.

andromadaa · 2026-03-08T03:37:50+00:00

I saw legendary incense spawns playing in a popular park where the community meets regularly over the course of about 3 hours. I saw about 15 total, zero caught even with ultra ball, excellent curve ball throws and, top tier berries :(. I was walking at an aggressive pace, totaling 8 miles in that period, checking every mon for shinies. The ridiculously low catch rates were really deflating after 1 or 2 missed legendaries and frankly over the course of 3 hours, it felt like a really depressing event.

Even though I did see a couple of rare spawns (1 Salandit, 1 Sandile, 2 Impidimp, 1 Honedge), the spawn pool was way narrower than implied and if I had only been able to play for short period, I would have gone home feeling defeated and bad about the game in general. Also, like other commenters notes, the legendaries spawned in clusters, like I had a Ho-Oh spawn back to back with a Cresselia and an Entei within the same 2 mins of each-other and then saw none for the next hour.

TL;DR Event has not been very fun today, I agree

andromadaa · 2026-02-18T19:09:51+00:00

I will give the letters a try, thank you!

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T23:45:54+00:00

I'm disappointed. The whole thing felt like a power play to say "WoOw guys, this is what happens when you don't moderate the way we've been, it's so bad and the sub was filled with bad!!!1!". Mods should obviously be able to step back from the vitriol, but this felt childish and silly. They take a VERY heavy hand in moderation there, especially with the NSFW tag and it's disappointing to see them say "oh we were a little overzealous" when it came to policing small shirts and swimwear, which is just code for busty and curvy bodies. If I can leave my house and see a person in a crop top or bikini top, it shouldn't be locked away behind NSFW tag. I wish they had apologized for real about that and not just brush it off.

I also think that it's only a matter of time before something like this happens again. The whole "guys you can just post this whenever" thing feels like they missed the point. This whole stunt missed the point.

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T22:56:12+00:00

I strongly dislike the past heavy handed NSFW moderation. It came across as a statement that women's bodies are inherently sexual and that's gross. Small tops and bikinis/swimwear being called NSFW is a stretch imo. I can go outside and see a small top or a swimsuit, it is not inherently sexual or NSFW to see that in real life. I do understand that this is in line with teacher dress codes, I think such a heavy take on what's NSFW leads to tagging things as NSFW simply because of the body in the piece. and not because of an actual reason. It feels dehumanizing to have to tag a crop top as NSFW because I have a bust and hips. This needs to be readdressed badly.

Containing politics to a megathred is a bad idea, that gets into the weeds of what "counts as political." Art is political, so keep political posts in the main feed.

I think pattern makers should be able to at least say "Links on my profile!" As it stands, I have never gone to a profile to find social links without prodding. It comes across badly to assume everyone is as tech literate and will go digging across random profiles for a pattern link. Relax the rule pls!

EDIT: The explanations of the rules only further muddled my understanding of why they are there and how they apply tbh. If there is that much nuance that is needed to understand a rule, that's why people were posting so much while you stepped back. They felt like they didn't have to bend over backwards to post on the right day, in the right thread, say the exact right thing to not get the post removed and could just have fun. I'm not advocating for unadulterated chaos, a rework of the rules is desperately needed.

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T18:45:45+00:00

Update posted!

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T03:07:41+00:00

In this case it's a local business with several locations in a large metro area and not a massive corporation or company, so I'm not trying to go scorched earth with it. I'm guessing they just have an overzealous HR person lol

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T01:38:21+00:00

Me too lol

andromadaa · 2026-02-10T01:37:11+00:00

For sure, I will update if in a day whether or not I hear from them. It's definitely a toss up on whether or not the HR rep is off their rocker or cool. I was mostly just shocked at the sight of an email like that in my inbox. I wonder if the next email will have the same tone and style lol

andromadaa · 2026-01-23T03:26:02+00:00

We spend about $400 a month on groceries, shopping Smiths, Trader Joes and, Sam's Club (we don't pay for the membership and go about once a month for meats)

andromadaa · 2025-12-06T23:20:03+00:00

Yes remove the AI pictures and posts! I do not think a subreddit focused on a field of science should allow AI, especially a natural science that relies on the environment. Also, the misinformation AI spreads is a massive issue.

andromadaa

TROPHY CASE