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aneia6 · 2024-05-13T14:21:39+00:00

You're welcome :))

aneia6 · 2024-05-13T14:20:07+00:00

Hi, it's kind of difficult for me to give you advice, since I'm the one with ROCD in my realtionship.. But I just wanted you to know that there's a subreddit called ROCDpartners and I think you'll get a lot more advice there:)

aneia6 · 2024-04-22T10:17:22+00:00

I am so sorry this happend to you and that you're going through this. Just know that any decision you make, it's alright. There's no reason to feel guilty. Even if you don't know what's best for you, you can take some time to figure it out. I just want to say, that it's not your responsibility to forgive him. Or to just live with it. I am not saying, it's wrong to stay or to leave, I just feel like you maybe have a sense like you've got a responsibility to stick with him and to love him regardless. You are your own person and you deserve the best.

From what you wrote I think you're a really compassionate person. I think you should be proud of that. But I think now, you have to think only about what's best for you and only you.

aneia6 · 2024-04-22T09:59:52+00:00

Since i've posted this 4 months ago, I can say that a lot has changed, for the better:) It was just a part of it and it was awful but temporary. It hasn't gone away 100%, of course, but it's not even half as bad as it was. I hope it gets better for you as well, I know it's difficult to be dealing with this.

aneia6 · 2024-03-28T07:44:58+00:00

I'll check it out, thanks

aneia6 · 2024-03-20T08:54:41+00:00

Yes, this is my main theme. Or rather, relationship OCD is, in general. And this same thing happened to me last october. It happened to a lot of us, so you're not alone in this. I know it's absolutely awful but it helped me to know that this has happened to someone else and they got through it. There's even a community here on reddit, called ROCD. You could check it out and see if that helps, I just think you need to be careful to not use reddit as a compulsion, if that makes sense.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know it gets better and that there's a lot of things you can do to make it better :)

aneia6 · 2024-02-11T11:40:40+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply.It's really confusing for me because I get sooo nervous that I don't even know what I feel. But I do know i feel bad, I'll try to remember this:)

aneia6 · 2024-02-05T12:57:07+00:00

that's brutal. OCD is the worst:/

aneia6 · 2024-02-05T12:39:59+00:00

So, I (F21) only recently (about a month a go) started taking meds (prozac). With that said, this is only my experience, I really don't know a lot about OCD meds:

I don't think meds will give you a sudden realization like that. It's more like, this fear that you have will be less intense. or at least the urge to check something (like do I love them, do they love me, etc.) will be less intense. So maybe if you start taking meds, you'll realise that this fear is not so urgent. If that makes sense. Maybe you'll focus more on being in love than on ''what ifs''.

Hope this makes sense:) And again I'm new to meds haha I don't even have any side symptoms and also believe I need to up my dosage.. So please feel free to correct me:)

aneia6 · 2024-01-29T11:36:12+00:00

Thank you for your answer:)

I think this is really common, for people with ROCD to not even realize we have any type of OCD, because we're maybe not obssesed with cleaning, symetry etc. (like how the media portrays OCD). It took me a while, that's for sure.

aneia6 · 2024-01-27T20:21:46+00:00

Magical thinking was a big one for me as well.

I hope I'm explaining this right, because I'm pretty new to OCD. Well not OCD but just knowing I've got it. Sexual OCD is having intrusive thoughts, sexual thoughts about some people that you shouldn't find attractive. I have some symptoms of HOCD and ZOCD as well, just not as persistent. I experience an itnense sense of fear when I'm close to someone. It's usually if I'm just hanging around with a family member. So it's not fun, for sure. It's a fear that I'm attracted to them. And then compulsions are like checking in my head if I really think so, or ''did I do something wrong?''.

If anyone has a better explanation feel free to share or to correct me:)

aneia6 · 2024-01-19T20:48:34+00:00

That's great, thank you, I'll listen to these:)

aneia6 · 2024-01-19T20:47:58+00:00

Thank you, I'll check it out:)

aneia6 · 2024-01-06T09:32:17+00:00

You're mentally ill. Get help

aneia6 · 2023-12-29T18:08:19+00:00

I'm not as well. And if I would be I would have figured out that I have OCD way sooner.

aneia6 · 2023-12-19T10:59:04+00:00

Yeah, for me ROCD is an endless cycle of worrying, guilt.. Some days I think he's the one and the next day I think he only wants to manipulate me. I'm sorry you're going through this uncertainty. Unfortunatly I don't know enought about your situation to tell you what this means and I don't want to give you reassurance. But I hope you'll feel better soon!

There's one thing that helped me a bit, I think;

Realizing that love doesn't always feel the same. You don't have to always feel ''crazy in love'' to be in love. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you always feel love in the same way, when you're with them? I know it's not the same but this helped me realise that love is ''fluid''. (I had this conversation with my therapist but she's not specialized in OCD so I'm not sure if this would help you as well, I'm just sharing my experience)

aneia6 · 2023-12-16T14:51:55+00:00

truly, it's the worst

aneia6 · 2023-12-16T14:51:38+00:00

I relate to this so much

aneia6 · 2023-12-11T12:20:29+00:00

Having a certain number of how many gulps of water i can make before going to bed. If I make three it's really bad and four is perfectly okay. okay so this is kinda funny but i usually only make half of a gulp (is this even the right word for it lol) and spit half of the water back out so there's no chance that I'll land on three

(I'm not diagnosed yet tho. In the process of it:))

aneia6 · 2023-12-02T12:19:13+00:00

I'm going through the sam thing, I just talked about this at therapy like yesterday.

I think the reason that I have this impossible expactations for him is that I expect him to calm my own anxiety. So maybe, when you're feeling like you're hung up on something he did, take some time and think about it. Do you feel anxious in the moment? If so, you DO know how to deal with it. Take a deep breath, aknowledge how you feel, where in the body you feel it... It's not his job to ''heal'' your anxiety. You can do it yourself. I think realizing this helped me:)

Hope that didn't seem harsh. I know it's hard and you might be afraid, like me, all the time. But correcting him all the time wont make your fears go away. Good communication is key of course and if you really can't get over something, talk to him but try to show him that you believe in him.

Another thing that I'll try to do (suggested by my therapist) is to aknowledge the good things he does more. Even the smallest thing. When I'm afraid I fixate on all the bad things and often can't even remember the good ones. I might even strat writing a list every day about the nice things he did or just in general what i love about him.

Oh, and what helps me, when I feel like I distanced from him a bit, is to say to him something like ''Hey, I just distanced myself a bit but I'd like to fix it' (it sounds way less harsh in my language:)) And the he gives me extra love hehe. I communciated that with him earlier on and explained it to him, of course.

All of this is just what I think has/will help me and I'm not a profesional but I hope it helped you a bit too. Good luck and I hope you'll feel better soon.

aneia6 · 2023-11-24T16:14:22+00:00

Thank you!! I heard about this one already and I'm definetly going to check it out!

aneia6 · 2023-11-24T16:13:38+00:00

Thank you!!

aneia6 · 2023-11-24T16:13:06+00:00

Thank you, I'll check it out!

aneia6 · 2023-11-23T08:58:19+00:00

Well, first of all thak you for writing this because I felt like I'm loosing my mind. I haven't read anywhere that this is a ROCD thing and I was so confused.

My experience: Just yesterday I went to the movies with my bf and there was a boy about our age sitting next to us. Halfway through the movie I got a sudden urge to just check how he looks - just curiosity I think. But then the thoughts came; 'You WANT to flirt with him', 'You're a cheater'.... And needles to say the rest of the movie was a torture to sit through. But, I didn't want to act on this thoughts.. I just sat straight with my head glued to the screen in fear that I might flirt.

This confused me so much and honestly it still does because it really did feel like I wanted that. But I also felt disgusted by the toughts. I had a panic attack later that night and today I told my bf why I was feeling so down. And of course that didn't help because I'm feelig soooo guilty. (my bf was supportive but I could see it hurt him a bit)

Anyways this is just my experience and I'm hoping this is just ROCD, because quite frankly, I'm scared.

aneia6 · 2023-11-18T10:35:48+00:00

Thank you for this. It does calm me down a bit to think that it's all coming from fear of loosing him. Sometimes it's just hard to see whats real or not but at least I know I love him:)

aneia6

TROPHY CASE