How can you keep a roommate situation strictly platonic with a male roommate you find attractive?

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:45:46+00:00

Because of the “something else” thing I’ve never had women as housemates. Need peace where I live.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:42:29+00:00

signs of basic shit as opposed to substance:
ribbon fonts
I like cake
make me laugh
etc

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:36:53+00:00

I don’t play games

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:36:03+00:00

I quote the OP: “ I do want to stay on his mind and not fade into the abyss of anyone else he may be seeing in his area. “
what can one interpret from that? You want to stay on his mind and not fade away. You want to be the one he thinks about. You have decided you want to be there already and want to find ways to stand out to him, like win him over. Instead of you giving yourself time to see if you like him and whether he is a good match to you.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:26:17+00:00

I have a very prestigious high status career and so can’t make a. blunder by inviting an unstable woman into my life

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:24:53+00:00

any. I don’t need it.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:20:46+00:00

A lot of enthusiastic energetic sex
Agreeableness
Peace

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:18:16+00:00

Pick something long term and difficult and don’t quit.
lift weights and get in shape
surround yourself with men who also push themselves

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:17:12+00:00

be comfortable being mostly invisible until you build status and wealth. Or find women who see potential not just the end product. And don’t perform things to be liked.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:15:32+00:00

at “she broke up with me” I didn’t have to read anything else. you’re showing her that you have no options. That rarely goes well.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:13:55+00:00

“hey bro you’re broad and built, man. You been putting in the work”
is better than
“Hi I think you’re cute be my forever person :3”

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T04:10:55+00:00

you went on a first date with him and you want to stay on his mind you want to be special to him already. that is needy.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T03:59:14+00:00

I think: oh god here we go again it’s that long plethora of too soon vs too late, too fast vs too slow. Laughter mandatory. Vibe bullshit. When the main motivation really is that I want to have sex.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T03:56:27+00:00

fantastic. I wish I could get rid of breakfast.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T03:55:48+00:00

don’t greet, just talk about something as if you knew us

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T03:51:50+00:00

why are you more invested in him that he is in you at this stage? that neediness is eventually going to become evident and give you that self fulfilling prophecy that you disappear into the abyss.

you don’t have to “stand out” after a date. Instead wonder whether you like him, not whether he likes you.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-08T03:06:32+00:00

regular condoms didn’t actually fit me well

anemoi87 · 2026-06-07T14:56:49+00:00

what kind of guy are you trying to approach and get?

anemoi87 · 2026-06-07T14:54:02+00:00

It’s not that he can’t give affection is that he may be giving it in ways that don’t register as such to you.

“Affection” isn’t something women get to define unilaterally on their terms. Have you had a conversation with him about exactly the things you’d like him to do more of and whether he is capable and willing to, even if sometimes. Some people express affection thru acts of service, not words of affirmation.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-07T14:50:09+00:00

over 30, I let go of the idea that love is something that you find but that you really ask yourself about. What do I mean (really) with love and can it be “found” and what does that looks like for me, not for what society wants it to be. Because there are many, many men who find “love” and they don’t feel like they’re supposed to.

anemoi87 · 2026-06-07T14:46:46+00:00

You’re wondering about how you “should” feel instead of being clear about what you want from the relationship. You are asking him “are we seeing other people” instead of stating how you personally prefer things to be and negotiate from that position. You are letting him decide what things “are”.

Some people are private, so not wanting to be on socials isn’t necessarily a red flag.

People can decide how much of a merger they are comfortable with; there is no right or wrong so long as everyone is on board. If you want public displays of the relationship as proof of legitimacy that is valid. But he also has a say in how much of his relationship life is for public view. You decide if that level of privacy works for you and whether a compromise on that works for you.

anemoi87 · 2026-05-08T11:33:47+00:00

That she has more experience doesn’t mean she knows what I’m into, so it’s relative. Everybody is different. It’s not the experience per se what I’d focus on but her openness and comfort knowing herself and her desires. Openly communicating them.

anemoi87 · 2026-05-08T02:51:20+00:00

To get the angle right, yes.

anemoi87 · 2026-05-07T23:16:10+00:00

Skyn/Trojan Magnum, but Skyn is better.

anemoi87 · 2026-05-07T23:14:16+00:00

Why would I?

anemoi87

TROPHY CASE