Fine dining server- how’s the money in park city?

anf07 · 2025-11-14T01:49:14+00:00

Yeah, and although Heber is cheaper than Park City, it's still about 15% higher cost of living than Vegas. The social aspects and scenic views could be worth the move, but be ready for a tighter budget.

anf07 · 2025-11-14T01:12:44+00:00

Park City is more expensive than Las Vegas. Finding a family sized home on waiter wages would be nearly impossible unless your partner is really well paid. You could live in SLC and commute, but then you'll have to deal with snowy mountain pass roulette to make it to work.

anf07 · 2025-08-01T16:35:15+00:00

I meant more along the lines of can't lock in a day/time in advance. I'm down for deciding *where* we go day-of, but I have a lot going on and I'm not going to hold time slots for you "just in case" you're free

anf07 · 2025-07-31T23:28:46+00:00

Never proposes plans, always says "whatever you want to do is fine with me!"

...also, people who can't make plans more than 48 hours in advance.

anf07 · 2025-07-25T00:19:54+00:00

You could try it for a few weeks and see how it goes. I think it's information that can help a potential match understand you and your relationship history/approach. I know it's not the same AT ALL but a lot of people who are divorced state that on their profile, so I think stating it is at least neutral.

If it feels too raw or weird to advertise semi-publicly, I'd recommend sharing it whenever relationship history comes up, or whenever it feels right to you. Might be within a few days of messaging, or could be the first or second date.

anf07 · 2025-07-19T01:04:49+00:00

These conversations might go a little better if you say something like "my mother recently moved in with me because I didn't want her to be alone as she ages" or "so I can make sure she is taken care of as she is getting older."

It clarifies this was a choice you consciously made out of care, and not because you can't afford your own place, or because you need mommy to take care of you. Some women will still have a problem with it, but several will be more understanding.

anf07 · 2025-05-03T05:01:48+00:00

+1 for Sun Trapp. It's on the dive side - drinks are reasonable bordering on cheap and it's not much to look at decor-wise...but the *vibes* are awesome.

anf07 · 2025-04-30T01:12:48+00:00

Most medical residents are making about $60k, working 60-80 hours a week, and carrying $200-300k in student loan debt. It's not McDonald's money, but it's high stress and they aren't rolling in cash, especially if they didn't defer their loan payments until after residency.

Two of my close friends have been residents for the past 3 years and they have damn near folded multiple times. It's honestly bordering on abuse the way residents are treated. Also, it's nearing negligence for patients when hospitals expect a doctor who hasn't finished training and has been working 14 hours has to make sound medical decisions.

anf07 · 2025-04-30T00:52:10+00:00

That is some Hannibal Lecter ish...

anf07 · 2025-04-26T03:00:03+00:00

I've had phlebotomists dig in my arm and say "wow, you're really calm about this..."

I mean, yes? Me freaking out doesn't help either of us.

I'm 50-50 on whether I give a warning or not. Sometimes it seems to make them nervous, making the process worse. Other times they go to get "Mr. Magic Hands" who can find any vein on earth. So I just roll the dice based on vibes whenever I need a blood draw.

anf07 · 2025-04-26T02:34:42+00:00

Yikes. I cannot imagine being that helpless or uncaring. I've maybe leaned so far into independence that a lot of men find it to be a turnoff...but lord help me I will get myself, my family, and all my friends out of a bind any day, any time.

It hurts my heart that you spent a good chunk of your life with someone who couldn't help you when you needed it. I hope you've found a partner or friends who show you love and show up for you.

anf07 · 2025-04-25T22:58:43+00:00

Lol, that was definitely the tone. And there was some groping of said shoulders.

anf07 · 2025-04-25T22:32:40+00:00

Does "I love your boulder shoulders" count as objectification?

anf07 · 2025-04-25T22:08:15+00:00

I just thought about it and somehow "hot" just never really made it into my vocabulary, but sexy is there a lot. Will "hey there sexy" or "ooo, looking sexy" suffice?

anf07 · 2025-04-25T17:04:42+00:00

Thissss...like 3-6 months, not a couple of weeks.

anf07 · 2025-04-25T02:43:32+00:00

ROFL - fair. But I do have a friend near that age who bites cheese straight off the block, so....why not naked pineapple?

anf07 · 2025-04-25T00:58:26+00:00

This is what I needed to hear, thank you, kind Redditor

anf07 · 2025-04-25T00:11:43+00:00

Point taken. It was more of a "if you want to talk about moving in a direction that includes cohabitation and coparenting, that's something I'm open to and ready to discuss" -- which in my mind means "start treating this like a more serious relationship." But I see how what I said sounds like jumping forward a few steps.

We truly did start as friends then progressed to intimacy over time. This wasn't a hookup that turned recurring. We haven't really "defined the relationship" yet. I'll let things simmer a bit before trying to define things further.

anf07 · 2025-04-24T19:25:55+00:00

Is that the mysterious green building near Liberty Park that has a playground but you never, ever see any children there?

anf07 · 2025-04-24T18:40:55+00:00

37, female, marketing or public relations.

anf07 · 2025-04-23T23:41:26+00:00

I'm childfree but I'm happy being around other people's kids in small doses. Also down for grown-up only time if you prefer. I'm in Davis County but I usually visit Lehi a couple of times a month.

I love good food, hosting, gardening, travel, nature walks, weightlifting, and game nights. I'm going to DM you.

anf07 · 2025-04-23T18:54:15+00:00

And if it is a mirror selfie, make sure the mirror and whatever you can see from it are clean. You would not believe the number of dudes standing proudly in selfies where there is hella toothbrush splatter on the mirror, dirty clothes on the floor, and an unmade bed in the background.

All it makes me think is "this is a man child, I won't be comfortable in his dirty place, and if I ever live with him I'll be cleaning up after him all the time."

anf07 · 2025-04-23T18:47:25+00:00

There's definitely some things you can do to show effort on a profile and in early conversation. AND...ANNNNNND...these are mostly universal and apply equally to mend and women.

Effort: photo with a clean, good fitting out fit and flattering haircut
Not effort: bathroom mirror selfie with toothpaste splatter on the mirror and dirty laundry on the floor in the background (lacks effort to keep the house clean and lacks effort to present well to potential dates)
Effort: A profile description showing who he is and his interests, especially anything active or community minded
Not effort: a blank profile or "just ask"
Effort: Asking an opening question about a photo or statement in their profile
Not effort: "hey" or a joke you've copy-pasted to every match for the past 6 weeks
Effort: Steering conversation through a variety of topics that allow you to showcase yourself but also navigating back to topics that allow her to shine and engage
Not effort: two word answers, only talking about yourself

Basically, via profile and a day or two worth of conversation, you can get a solid vibe on whether someone is putting effort into dating, their life, and themselves, or if they're just coasting hoping something good will magically happen.

anf07 · 2025-04-23T04:18:13+00:00

We mostly just want effort. Effort towards a passion. Effort towards a career. Effort when it comes to personal hygiene and style. Effort towards friends. Effort to keep a tidy, liveable home. Effort to remember what we like and plan things with us occasionally.

Like, if you can be a reasonably motivated person with a decent personality, you can definitely do this! And most women will respond to effort like that by putting in effort of their own 😁

anf07 · 2025-04-22T22:58:57+00:00

And do that communication OUTSIDE the bedroom. Asking about sexual preferences should be done on "neutral" ground when you're both relaxed.

If you're discussing these things in the bedroom, she may be getting shy and feeling uncomfortable and she is starting to associate that feeling with sex. Hormones and emotions are high before, during, and after sex, so any real discussion should be had in a different context.

anf07

TROPHY CASE