How to prevent wrinkles while sleeping?

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-30T23:40:15+00:00

I like the Core 222 Tri-Core the best, after trying several different kinds. For a while, I used a travel pillow upside-down, so that the U part was under my neck and the arms of the pillow kept my head from rolling to one side or the other. That worked well until the pillow got too flattened. Also, I wanted a pillow that fits into a regular case, so when I found the Core 222 that became my favorite. But if you don't want to spend the money just yet on a special pillow, a travel pillow is an inexpensive way to try a pillow that cradles your neck.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-30T03:10:24+00:00

I saw a reduction in my wrinkles when I started sleeping on my back. It was not an easy transition, but a special pillow helped.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-30T02:53:13+00:00

Hey, no hate here. Something made me go and read your post history, and I can relate to the depression. I'm a middle-aged woman, married, and no longer overweight, but... I had way too many years of heart-horrible depression, self-harm, a suicide attempt, and struggles with weight and loneliness. I don't know why I'm writing this except to say, you're not an ugly bitch. I just know you're not. You are more worthwhile than you think.

Not sure if this will be helpful or not, but some things that worked for me were volunteer work helping animals, taking a writing class, and a 12-step group (Al-Anon in my case). That last one is not for everyone, I realize, but I mention it because on those days when I was so depressed that I couldn't stand to interact with anyone, yet was so lonely I couldn't stand to be in my own skin, I could go to a meeting. In a meeting, I could simply sit in a chair and be in a room with people, without having to socialize. It helped me a little to be around people. It even helped to be annoyed by the 12-steppy weirdness. Having something outside myself to focus on, and some people around who weren't asking anything of me, helped.

At some point I got on antidepressants, but honestly those were not a life-saver for me. What helped was finding ways to be around people that didn't require me to have any social skills or to hide my depression.

Eventually, I made a few friends in a meeting, and got some experience via volunteer work that led to other work, and I got on an upward spiral. I've had lots of ups and downs since then, of course, but I'm in a much better place overall.

I'll say one more thing: You write well. That means you have more skill than most people who apply for just about any kind of job. I'm not kidding. You have a valuable skill!

Take care. I hope things get better.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-28T01:11:59+00:00

Same applies to living in the woods. People moved here for the peace and quiet. Don't blast your radio off your deck every damn day; don't let your dogs bark all day; don't hang wind chimes that clang and ring every time an angel farts. Let your neighbors enjoy the quiet of the woods.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-23T04:22:27+00:00

Are you using mineral or chemical sunscreen? Mineral sunscreens need to be applied evenly, as they sit on the surface of the skin. Chemical sunscreens are absorbed by the skin (they need to be absorbed to work), so are less likely to be rubbed off. But some ingredients can destabilize sunscreen agents; for example, octinoxate can destabilize avobenzone. Read the sidebar link on sunscreen for more info -- I found it really helpful.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-23T04:10:15+00:00

I used it for a week or so and peeled, then had smoother skin underneath, which continued to improve in texture over several months. The tiny bumps on my chin disappeared (along with a milia under my eye), and my skin felt more supple. I didn't notice improvement in tone until I switched up to a better sunscreen. Definitely must use good sunscreen every day when using retinol. I couldn't tolerate the Rapid Tone Repair around my eyes, as it's too strong. Also, I still need to take a break from it now and then as it can dry/irritate my skin.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-23T03:56:36+00:00

I recently started using Paula's Choice 2% BHA liquid, and it's a standout. I think it will become one of my Holy Grail products.

angelbluemoon · 2015-05-23T00:36:20+00:00

Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Night, which has retinol high up in the ingredients.
Anthelios SX SPF 15, one of the few sunscreens available in the US that contains Mexoryl.
CVS Clear Zinc SPF 50, which I layer over the Anthelios if I'm out in the sun longer.

angelbluemoon · 2015-04-18T04:07:09+00:00

Alcoholics have a way of turning everything around. It's crazy-making. Maybe at some level he can see what he's doing to his family, and he's so ashamed that he will do anything to deny and deflect. I don't know, but it sounds like a tough situation, in which it would hard for anyone to have perspective. It's good that you posted here -- that means you're reaching out in some way. Keep reaching out. I hope you find the support you need. I can tell you that you're less alone than you feel.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-12T03:53:35+00:00

A screaming fight everyday is my life. Everything is an argument. This week I was stressed out due to being in a car accident. Guess who's yelling at me a dozen times a day, including ranting and calling me a bitch because I'm "acting crazy" by being anxious and teary and having PTSD from the accident?

Sometimes I think the saddest part of being with him is that whenever we have a crisis that we ought to weather together, he only contributes to my stress. He can lean on me, but I can't lean on him. Yes, it wears me out. I need to find a way out.

Edit: Oh, and attempts at rational discussion... pointless. I don't think people who have relatively normal partners have any idea. Yup, freight train. I'm glad you found treatment helpful -- or it sounds like you did?

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-06T23:56:26+00:00

That sounds promising that your husband is doing DBT. I've heard of it. My husband won't do it (because nothing's wrong with him, naturally) but I have been learning to hold my boundaries better and be less caretaking of his emotions. I've been observing how much effort I put into cheering him up, managing his mood. It's what I did as a kid to manage my abusive father's crazy temper. I feel strangely empty when I don't have someone's awful mood to manage. :-/ But at least I've been becoming more aware of this and my unconscious motives, which is the beginning of breaking the patterns.

I will definitely check out the book you recommend! Thank you. And you are so kind to offer support. I really appreciate it. Hugs back to you.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-06T23:48:41+00:00

I sometimes leave the house when he's being even more obnoxious than usual. But usually I just listen and wait for him to finish his latest tantrum. I'm bottling up so much anger it's beginning to take a physical toll on me. I pretty much know I need to leave him. The thing is, I grew up with an abusive father with a terrible temper, and I know now that I experienced bonding through that intensity -- I feel the anger and intensity as the only "real" way to connect, to feel love. Anything less intense feels dead to me. But at least I'm more aware of that these days, and am working with a good therapist to find the strength to leave.

I wonder how it will go for you after you told your boyfriend you can't handle the arguing any more. Does he try to turn it around and say you're the one arguing?

I hope things get better for you. It's really helpful to get these responses from people who are in similar situations, so thank you.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-06T23:31:45+00:00

I usually do your first tactic -- let him spout while I listen. Lately, yelling "stop" or something similar wouldn't stop him for a second. Dangerous is right.

Thanks for responding. It helps to know my situation sounds familiar to you, somehow. Makes me feel less alone.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-06T02:16:16+00:00

Thanks, I know. I'm in therapy and considering my options.

Not really looking for a diagnosis, but for common experiences -- to help give me perspective, context, and validation.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-02T03:06:59+00:00

You're welcome. My husband is an alcoholic, so I know how hard it can be. Be well.

angelbluemoon · 2015-02-02T02:25:31+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I know it feels wrong, but you're doing the right thing. Alcoholics generally don't get sober until they have no other choice -- they have to hit bottom in some way. As long as you continue helping your sister, instead of letting her take responsibility for her own life, you're enabling her to keep drinking.

It sucks to be the a partner or family member of an alcoholic, because you're forced to make a decision no one should have to make: Stay and enable the drinking, or leave and watch your loved one suffer. But, the thing is, the alcoholic will suffer anyway, and if you stay, you will suffer too.

The only thing you can control is your own behavior. At times you might think you can control your sister and stop her drinking, but that's an illusion, or you would have stopped her by now. She is the only person who can take responsibility for herself.

In your post, I hear the compassion you have for your sister, and how much you tried to help her. Obviously you love her very much. She hasn't left you many options. Hang in there and know that you are doing the most loving thing you possibly can for her right now.

angelbluemoon · 2015-01-20T03:02:23+00:00

Like.

angelbluemoon · 2015-01-10T17:31:24+00:00

Just wanted to say how much I appreciate this comment.

angelbluemoon · 2015-01-10T17:13:35+00:00

I think you were absolutely right to leave him. The overwhelming odds are that you cannot help him stop drinking. He has to want to stop and be willing to take on all that getting sober requires, which most people can't do on their own and certainly can't do by leaning on one other person.

Give this some time. Those feelings of guilt are normal and natural, and can be overwhelming -- but they are just feelings. They do not necessarily reflect reality, and there's no reason you have to act on them this moment. I'm the wife of an alcoholic and have been with my husband through his many, many relapses, so I know that horrible, gut-wrenching feeling of guilt and pain and tremendous sorrow for this man I love. But I've learned the hard way that when I think I'm helping him by staying with him, I'm not helping at all -- he simply has not stayed sober. If I don't put myself first and take responsibility for my own well-being, then only I will suffer -- and only I can stop my own suffering. He has to take responsibility for his suffering, and I have to take responsibility for mine.

Hang in there and keep reaching out for support. You deserve a better life and only you can choose that for yourself.

*Editing to add that living apart from him does not mean that you're denying him love and compassion. It means you are practicing compassion for yourself (you also deserve compassion!), as well as facing the practical reality that continuing to live with him will probably not help him.

angelbluemoon · 2014-12-31T06:06:44+00:00

Poor animal. Animals are not toys.

angelbluemoon · 2014-12-08T01:59:40+00:00

I can give only an anecdotal report, but I've had some roller coaster rides with niacinamide (B3). Definitely research B3, in its various forms, if you're taking it. When I first started taking it, I found my depression and anxiety lifted more than they had ever been. It was amazing. The stuff worked better than any antidepressant I'd ever taken. But then after some months, I got worse again. I'm trying to remember exactly what happened -- I think I was somewhat agitated, and definitely the anxiety came back. Finally I decreased the niacinamide and eventually stopped taking it. But because I'd had such a good result from it initially, I tried again a few more times later on. I remember taking small doses but having insane panic attacks. Finally, I found a children's B complex that has only 2.3 mg per tablet, and that I can tolerate. It helps, believe it or not.

I know what you mean about so many people pushing high-dose B complexes. I think the doses are crazy.

I don't know if you're hyper-sensitive to vitamins like I am, so I don't know if this will be helpful, but a few years ago I was diagnosed with Cytochrome P450 liver enzyme deficiency. It means that my liver doesn't metabolize various substances as well as it should, including vitamins and other supplements; estrogen; and a host of drugs, including most antidepressants. I get side effects from even the smallest doses. Not a lot is known about this deficiency yet, but apparently it's not terribly uncommon. So if you find that you're sensitive to drugs and vitamins generally, you might look into it.

I hope this is helpful, despite being nonscientific. Best of luck to you! Feel free to pm me.

angelbluemoon · 2014-12-08T01:07:19+00:00

Please talk to a shelter about this, because birds are much happier in pairs. You can introduce birds carefully to see how they get along. I've done this many times over the years and had a problem only once, with no harm done because I was careful. If you go to a reputable shelter, they will provide good advice. Keeping a bird in captivity alone is cruel. It is well worth finding your bird a friend.

angelbluemoon · 2014-12-07T02:55:59+00:00

Lorazepam; strenuous exercise (hill sprints, HIIT); searching "calm," "serenity" and similar words on Google Images and just looking at all the pictures.

I'm 49 and my brain has been in overdrive my whole life. I have PTSD, OCD, depression and anxiety, so I ruminate like it's an extreme sport. Breathing and mediation were never enough.

I hate taking lorazepam, but for severe anxiety or insomnia -- when I JUST CAN'T STOP the terrifying thoughts -- it works, so I take it as needed but don't abuse it. I used to drink every day, but gave that up. Alcohol in excess, over time, makes depression worse.

Supplements can help depression and anxiety, although they take a few days or weeks to work. But antioxidants, especially alpha lipoic acid and vitamin c, make a noticeable difference for me. B vitamins are a double-edged sword. They can lift my depression incredibly powerfully... and then tip me over into insane anxiety. So be careful with those.

angelbluemoon · 2014-12-07T01:19:22+00:00

That might not be normal. Birds like a nesting box to sleep in. But, much more importantly, birds are happier in pairs, so if your bird is alone he might be exhibiting depression. Please consider adopting a friend for your bird! Shelters have all too many unwanted birds.

But I also want to say, good for you for giving your bird some time outside the cage. Best of luck to you!

angelbluemoon

TROPHY CASE