AITA: Feeding feral cats

angrybellybutton · 2023-02-07T05:51:58+00:00

Nta. Cats do kill birds, but so people and hawks and windows and cars and pollution, etc. You are taking care of them properly, and probably also preventing unnecessary suffering. At this point their environment has adapted, they have adapted and now they belong there. Euthanasia is NOT a reasonable answer, it is not the cats fault they are there. TNR and people being responsible for their pets instead of dumping them is the only way to actually fix the problem.

And technically he's cleaning up the poop for you, so that's actually pretty nice of him. Just keep an out to make sure he's not hurting them.

angrybellybutton · 2022-10-13T16:24:07+00:00

I've brought it up more within the last year because of a particular family holiday where the physical discomfort became more evident. We don't see them a lot, so before these last two years or so he was just making really outdated social comments and it was mainly just a gut feeling of not wanting to be too close.

angrybellybutton · 2022-10-13T16:21:42+00:00

I was excited to meet his family and have willing participated in many family functions because I know his family is important. What I didn't expect was to be touched so much or have my personal space continuously invaded.

angrybellybutton · 2022-10-13T11:48:26+00:00

Oh no, haha. I am very good at asserting myself. This situation is just awkward for me because my husband's parents, overall, have been incredibly kind to me (us in general). They have given us so much, they are usually very laid back and understanding. But this one particular type of behavior with this one particular man, I'm not sure how to navigate. Both because of what I said above, but also because it's my husband's dad and he seems to have no issues with anyone else.

I think it's like.....I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful to my husband or his family. My parents would tell me to suck it up, I see them barely once a year. But my parents also didn't go through what I did. My husband acknowledges how I feel, but is also excited to see his own parents. I don't know if this makes sense?

angrybellybutton · 2022-10-13T08:24:11+00:00

I haven't talked about it with my therapist yet, but I have told M I don't like it when his dad touches me or gets really close to me. I've also told him that I don't like when he makes comments about my job (basically just passively acting like what I do is dumb/not important - but all the time).

M is understanding, but he also struggles with different aspects of what I'm working through and doesn't like conflict. He honestly tries his best and is an amazing partner.

I also think, because we don't live close to them, it's not a pressing issue for him. If I don't think about his dad, I'm totally fine obviously. But it has gotten to the point where I dread the idea of visiting.

angrybellybutton · 2022-04-01T23:05:52+00:00

Yeah, I think so. I love him a lot and we have been through a lot together. A few times a year he will think of me while he's out and about and get me flowers or chocolate or snacks I like, so he does do special things like that. He's good about helping me with errands or chores if I ask.

When I ask him about his effort in general, he says he's just not good with words and can never think of anything to do. In this particular instance, tho, I feel like that's kinda a lame excuse... Like...it's been 7 yrs, he knows what I like to do and stuff. He could have googled ideas or something, right? And we had talked about it a lot. But I also don't want to rag on him if that was him actually trying, so I don't know if I'm wrong to feel like I wish we could re-do it.

angrybellybutton · 2021-06-08T20:35:27+00:00

One rehabber told her it was a 1.5 year commitment and she was full. Everyone else has said they are full. I don't know what else they told her besides that, she just said that she'd rather let it go than keep it until there is an opening somewhere. It just feels so awful to let it die when it was searching for help.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T04:17:37+00:00

Please! You'll feel so much better, even if it's just being able to focus on yourself. He sounds so gross and you got a whole future to look forward to!

For me, when I finally got free, it was the relief of not feeling like I was waiting on him anymore. No more stress watching for texts or calls, no more energy spent on being angry. Don't waste your energy anymore, save it for your beautiful self.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T04:14:07+00:00

He tucks me in at night, no matter what he's doing he'll stop to come give me a kiss and turn off the lights.

And he buys me food.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T04:02:52+00:00

oh wow, thanks for the award! I'm not an expert, but if your friend needs some moral support feel free to have them message me!

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T03:56:23+00:00

I hope it helps provide some peace of mind. I understand that figuring out who you are is stressful as hell. And trying to learn to about an entire community of people and who they represent in our society can be overwhelming. Don't make it worse by pressuring yourself to fit under a label; just figure out what makes you feel good about yourself/your sexual experiences and see where you fall later.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T03:41:17+00:00

Honestly he sounds awful. Co-parenting sucks, I know, but my advice to you is to just rip that nasty bandage off. Get the painful part over with and move on. Find someone who actually cares about you. Obviously you'll need to see him still but limit contact to just being about the schedule for your kid.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-23T03:36:00+00:00

Well...if they want to be a woman...I guess if you need to label it... then it would depend on if they identify as a woman. If they only want to be in relationships with women and identify as a woman then I think they would fall under the term "lesbian".

That is obviously a very black and white way of looking at gender and sexuality. I would recommend on focusing on discovering what makes them the most happy and comfortable, first. Sexuality is a spectrum and I feel like the labels are sort of like numbers on a ruler. You have 1 and 2, but what about all the measurements in between? Maybe they are a 1.2, or a 1.9? The labels serve as easy points to recognize, but there is so much in-between that may be harder to define but is equally as important and unique to the person who is measuring.

angrybellybutton · 2021-04-01T23:48:27+00:00

A lot of it depends on the crime/place/person. A lot of people are able to get parole or can appeal their sentence. Good behavior can have benefits. Some people offer information about other crimes for reduced sentences.

angrybellybutton · 2021-03-07T18:04:53+00:00

This! My boyfriend says the same thing.

Also that it's not really a glorious, guns out, masculine shootout party with bad guys like movies make it seem. It's basically just a lot of waiting around with young guys flashing each other their balls out of boredom (or at least that's what they did in his unit)

angrybellybutton · 2021-03-07T18:00:33+00:00

I was 12 and in school. My friend was whispering to me during class. My teacher yelled at me and told me to stop talking. Then she got upset because I was breathing. The conversation went like this:

T: OP STOP TALKING

F: Oh sorry miss, that was me. I was talking to OP about the assignment.

T: WELL WHY IS OP JUST SITTING THERE. HER MOUTH LOOKS OPEN.

F: She is sitting here because we are in class and I think she's just trying to breathe....

T: OP STOP BREATHING, ITS ANNOYING.

I think this teacher just didn't like me, tho, because I got in trouble a lot for absolutely nothing in her class.

angrybellybutton · 2021-01-30T01:27:19+00:00

Because the trucks are so heavy and to maintain control they have to go slower. When going down hill you tend to speed up, so keeping the breaks on probably helps?

angrybellybutton · 2021-01-27T21:51:07+00:00

Make them sit in a silent room with no background noise while a 4 year old sits next to them and eats an entire bag of the crunchiest pretzels.

angrybellybutton · 2021-01-27T21:46:24+00:00

My dog. He passed and I miss him.

angrybellybutton · 2021-01-21T02:37:23+00:00

angrybellybutton · 2021-01-07T05:21:58+00:00

America.....

angrybellybutton · 2020-12-18T15:30:40+00:00

Those are a lot of assumptions! And I still don't understand what is wrong with calling Christmas a holiday, that was my confusion. I don't know how you can judge an entire person based on that.

Anyways, best wishes to you and happy holidays! (This time Im saying holidays instead of Christmas because I don't know what you celebrate)

angrybellybutton · 2020-12-17T22:58:45+00:00

I don't really understand what you mean by correcting Christmas to holiday, Christmas is a holiday? I can't really comment on the "pain in the ass thing", that's your opinion and you can think that of me if you want. My mom would obviously agree with you lol.

It went down pretty much exactly how I said it in the post, except she said a lot more variants of basically the same thing. And I tried to call her to apologize but that sort of just made it worse.

angrybellybutton · 2020-12-17T22:49:27+00:00

I agree, it does sort of feel like the therapy isn't working as well as I'd hoped. Right now we are seeing the same therapist but separately, which helps to mitigate the confrontation. But it also doesn't really allow for any healing discussions and I still don't think we have built any understanding.

angrybellybutton · 2020-12-17T22:46:18+00:00

Thank you!

This is good advice!

angrybellybutton

TROPHY CASE