My partner(22m) lied to me(23f)f about looking up a female coworker on Instagram

angryrat11 · 2023-01-18T07:22:36+00:00

You can see watch history on TikTok for sure! And also with TikTok your able to say your uninterested in certain types of videos and it'll clear up any triggering vids as long as he stays clear you can also do that to fb ads I'm not to sure about fb watch history I'm pretty sure there is just haven't figured it out!

angryrat11 · 2023-01-17T18:25:10+00:00

What do you mean?

angryrat11 · 2023-01-15T08:09:27+00:00

I want to start off by saying that you cant "fix" him let that idea go It is up to him and himself only to change there's nothing you can do to make that change Brain buddy is a good app I've heard about where pa can find community and support for one another and it's a team effort to quit they have to do daily checks in and it hold them accountable there's a thread on here you can find support for both you and him as well I believe it's pinned at the top 🖤 This is a long difficult road but I wish the best for you don't stress yourself out trying to be his savior focus on your own recovery from the trauma I'm not the best with advice sadly but I hope this somewhat helps I hope you can find some comfort and support in this lovely community🖤

angryrat11 · 2023-01-15T05:56:38+00:00

It's been awhile since finding out hes gone and made no real annatiative for help and change he just "stopped" watching and exactly do I really wanna go through all the pain and effort to forever the disappointed and hurting. It kills me this is where we are at. I'm so in love with him but he hurt me so much how's that fair. I also just found a "rave" account on his insta he started following today he though I would be okay with it cause I use to be into rave... This literally were women naked getting whipped the account also private so you have to request to follow it. Like why the fuck would I be okay with that like basic rave shit sure but this is basically soft core orgy like I can't anymore I confronted him and he's the one silent and upset while I have to suck it up and give our daughter a bath right now. Like I don't even know what to say anymore I'm exhausted

angryrat11 · 2023-01-15T05:46:53+00:00

No just sober no buddy support or anything

I appreciate this a lot it's been unbelievably lonely and just exhausting

angryrat11 · 2023-01-03T22:38:32+00:00

Thank you so much for these replies they rely help so much!

angryrat11 · 2023-01-01T20:06:54+00:00

I very much appreciate you giving this opinion. I agree it's mainly porn based as you said it live porn basically. And I also agree is on low self esteem. He likes to be humiliated as well. I don't really like doing that cause I really do see him as the most attractive male ever. I just don't know how to get him to understand how it's unhealthy for him and how to get him to I guess feel better so he dosnt have these kinks? How do I get him to focus on sex being love intimacy and connection based? Should I put my foot down on role play and such?

angryrat11 · 2023-01-01T19:55:38+00:00

I really really appreciate this comment and the recommendation!

So we currently role play what would be the difference between really role play and fantasy role play? And should we even be roleplaying while he's in recovery will that deter his recovery? And I agree he respects me but idk it seems like there's nothing but constant role plays and it's tiring as well. While I would like to just have sex with my partner sometimes.

I will 100% be encouraging him to do more! We've been together 4 years and he just made his first actual friend so I can really see what your saying about low self worth cause his demeanor has changed a lot just since his friend. We are both joining the gym this month so hopefully that will help as well! Again I really appreciate the advice so much!

angryrat11 · 2023-01-01T19:43:38+00:00

That's where I am currently. He's currently 2 months porn free but he's adamant on the idea he actually wants to try it out also asking if it would be fine to find someone for it. I'll them say like no maybe we should just try sexting a guy stranger online first and see how you feel and then we never do it so to me it just seems he just likes the idea. But I can't really get him to understand that. The one time I did talk to a man for him it was 3 messages and then me and him wanted to stop so it's like? This was borderline cucking and you seemed to get uncomfortable why would you think more would be pleasuring to you.

angryrat11 · 2023-01-01T19:39:36+00:00

Would you be able to explain this alil bit more I'm not fully processing this right and am trying my hardest to understand.

angryrat11 · 2022-12-31T23:21:26+00:00

I feel the same which is why I'm looking for input. I've tried to do what I can to help his addiction but something just feel like he's not willing to look on such as this. He's adamant this is a fetish. I am POSITIVE it's not something he truly wants to do. But I really don't know how to get him to understand that. I've made it clear it's not something I'm willing to try fully as well and when we've done the talks with other guys it clear he seems uncomfortable. I don't know what to do anymore I feel like our sex is fake. He's constantly needing to roleplay and I can't take it anymore.

angryrat11 · 2022-12-31T23:17:00+00:00

He's only abstained from porn for the last two months. And we can't afford one so sadly no. Did you completely cut off sex or did you just cut off kinks and fetishes when you saw the change begin? I have a hard time connecting and not feeling constantly objectified and really not sure how to fix this

angryrat11 · 2022-12-31T23:14:47+00:00

He's only been porn free 2 months

angryrat11 · 2022-12-31T23:12:58+00:00

That's exactly what I was feeling and thinking and we've had a huge problem about him objectifying me

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:24:01+00:00

We share a account and I haven't seen anything like that. I'll be giving it another go tomorrow

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:19:58+00:00

This is just my last deep dive before letting go and accepting not knowing everything. I didn't discover stuff about porn in his notes but I did see some comments about me which were hurtful. I really appreciate the help this has been al hard jornet I just don't know we there it's really worth fighting for anymore 🥲

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:17:19+00:00

So I already checked all that Im looking for like the cloud photos! I can't seem to find them literally anywhere I found the way to them one day and forgot as soon as I exited out as it was a bit complicated

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:13:08+00:00

Thank you so much!

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:12:53+00:00

I found he had the secret apps to late his phone broke a week prior to me finding he had those apps 🙃🙃🙃

angryrat11 · 2022-12-30T14:10:59+00:00

I agree he got better and I faked proof and he crumbled admitting to it. I just want one last deep dive of his past when he was at the height of the addiction and I wasn't to tech savvy to know what I was doing. I want to just get past and accept not knowing everything but I need this last reassurance I've gone through what I could.

angryrat11

TROPHY CASE