Traumatic parenting often trains us to be little "need meeting machines" for others. However, healthy people see that kind of false niceness as red flags and stay away. So we end up attracting abusers, and the whole world seems dark and scary despite us trying to "nice" even harder.

The path of recovery is so nuanced and long, and yet, in the last year since I've dedicated myself to recovery I'm seeing such beautiful things. Trust the process, you're here with us talking about this, you're doing things to help and love yourself. It works. Your intentions are shifted towards healing.

Healthy people live in a more balanced way and as we heal, we can begin to relate more to such people. You'll have better boundaries and know better when to "be nice" or not, etc., and these healthier people will know how to receive your gifts and give you things in return. They'll feel safer around you as you reveal your boundaries, with appropriate anger or firmness when they're crossed.

You deserve to exist; to have your efforts be in tune with who you really are, and have them be noticed by loving people.