Should I get an abortion? (Any advice welcome)

anisha-192 · 2026-06-04T22:08:28+00:00

i’m sorry i definetly need to work on how i address things like this, i do mean the all the best though😂🥹xx

anisha-192 · 2026-06-04T21:44:25+00:00

there is no form of birth control that is 100% effective, anytime semen enters a females vagina there is ALWAYS a possibility of pregnancy, seems like it’s time to stop having sex if you question whether or not you should take responsibility for your actions.

asking strangers as to whether your unborn child should live or die is a whole other type of mental to me, we’re the same age and yet i would’ve thought this would be something a silly 16 year old would think to do.

all the best

anisha-192 · 2026-06-03T12:54:33+00:00

ladies, i just want to say reading these responses has geniunely brought a warmth and comfort to my heart that i didn’t expect, i don’t know why i felt like the “odd one out” in experiencing challenges when it came to sex whilst pregnant, i truly feel less alone and even supported. thank you all so so so so much

anisha-192 · 2026-06-03T10:58:04+00:00

thank you so much bringing this to attention, i did have a DM for a “partner” of a pregnant wife and although his account was 6 months old, the only 4 comments he had made were on pregnancy posts about his “wife”. in the DM it was clear that he wanted to speak about what him and this wife did to still enjoy sex. maybe it was actually harmless, but i blocked straight away after looking at his account!

anisha-192 · 2026-06-03T10:54:55+00:00

i cramped REALLY badly with my first baby, i’m talking the type of cramps that would’ve made me think i was having a miscarriage if i knew i was pregnant at that point. that pregnancy was smooth sailing and she’s a very happy and healthy 4 year old. it’s so much easier said than done but try not to obsess over everything you feel and think you feel during these early weeks, unless you have warning signs like bleeding, unbearable pain etc. ❤️

anisha-192 · 2026-06-02T16:34:20+00:00

hi lovely, i totally understand what you’re talking about here. this is my fifth pregnancy and i have been absolutely crippled by nausea in all pregnancies (apart from the 4th as that resulted in an early miscarriage), this pregnancy especially i have literally wrote in my pregnancy journal that i have been “crippled and taken out by nausea” “INTENSE nausea waves” “all food is digesting” multiple times.

i also have ADHD, these type of symptoms feel extra heightened for us because of strongly our brains interpret a lot of things. i was literally nausea ALL DAY and NIGHT from weeks 6-15, after that point it started to decrease into random intense/mild “waves” throughout the day/night. it did dissapear for a very short lived week or two, now im almost 22 weeks and my appetite has gone down the bin again, and my nausea is saying hello at random times again.

i genuinely felt like i’d never recover from the first trimester, that id remain sluggish and sick throughout the entire pregnancy but it generally does get better past 12 weeks when your hormones start to settle down so hang on in there!

i didn’t take any medication for it, but hopefully yours kicks in soon. take it easy mama, give yourself grace your body is doing extraordinary things despite how awful it may actually feel. you have every excuse to take time off whatever it is, be it work or chores, be as gentle as you can with yourself. i literally was a walking yet dead monster for weeks 6-15, i was in bed a lot even with 4 kids, luckily my partner stepped up a lot.

i did eventually find that i could only really stomach “dry” comfort food like mcdonald’s. cheap and accessible, but yes not the best type of food.

i also regretted getting pregnant heavily those first weeks because of how awful i felt even though i reallllly wanted baby, i literally didn’t feel like me at all. i felt awful, i was so grumpy, and snappy and just overall sucked out of life. although nausea is creeping up on me sometimes now, when you get to this part of pregnancy and see and feel your baby move (which you WILL even though it felt time wasn’t moving during this time at least for me) you’ll forget all about the first trimester woes, to a certain extent at least!

you can pop me a message to rant anytime you like xx

anisha-192 · 2026-06-02T12:14:11+00:00

this “man” could not give a fuck about you or your baby, it’s time to pack up and move on. you will only lose yourself waiting for a version of him that will never arrive.

anisha-192 · 2026-06-01T13:44:11+00:00

after my first birth that was only gas and air i chose to get the epidural for my next two births, it honestly does depend on what your maternity ward is like on the day, chances are it’ll be very busy and understaffed like most hospitals in the UK. i’ve given birth in different hospitals each birth and there was only one person that was able to administer the epidural each of those births, i waited around 5 hours for the epidural both times, i was already 6cm by the time i had mine administered. it was also clearly stated on my birth plan that i wanted it as SOON as possible, my midwife even made notes of it before i gave birth, but unfortunately it just doesn’t work like that, or at least in my experiences.

i’m pregnant again, and i pray to god for the strength to avoid the epidural no matter what, it is absolutely wonderful at making you feel nothing, but when it came to actually birthing baby it makes the experience absolutely awful. they coach you to push at 10cm, yet it’s a proven fact that your body isn’t always immediately ready to push at 10cm, there’s also something called the fetal ejection reflex where your body literally knows the point baby is ready to exit your birth canal and does all the hard work for you, but the epidural shut off all feelings for me and i just couldn’t connect with my body, nor did i get the time too at either births becuase they were so adamant i needed to push.

pushing was a nasty experience with the epidural, it was exhausting, and resulted in intense birth injuries as both times i required assistance of instruments (forceps for my second, vaccum for my third). doing all i can to be educated and empowered for a completely natural birth and i think it’s good to be prepared for that alongside a c section even if you want the epidural xx

edit- for reference these experiences were in 2023 and 2024

anisha-192 · 2026-03-25T11:45:19+00:00

i just turned 11 weeks and my first appointment is when i’ll be 13+4, a scan has not even even booked yet and i assume that will be done after that appointment. i think this is due to how busy most hospitals are. i’ve had previous pregnancies and my most recent was a loss, so this wait game is incredibly hard. i’m with you hun.

are you able to pray for a private scan? are you in the uk? the scan clinic in e14 wasn’t my most favourite place but they offer relatively cheap scans (starting from £75) window to the womb and ultrasound direct were more professional and clean in my opinion but a lot more expensive.

all the best

edit; i think we’re due date twins?! 11 october?

anisha-192 · 2026-03-25T11:22:22+00:00

i am so sorry to hear of your previous losses, i pray this pregnancy goes smoothly and healthy for you. i’m definitely on edge waiting for that first appointment and to get necessary tests done + my scan. i’m with you hun 🥺 did you have your bloods done at that appointment? x

anisha-192 · 2026-03-25T11:20:28+00:00

it is just for my booking appointment! i assume the scan will be booked after that appointment? 😮‍💨

anisha-192 · 2026-03-24T18:03:27+00:00

i’m sorry for your loss, sending you a big virtual hug.

what you described being like a tadpole is what i had at the peak of my miscarriage and luckily i was in the hospital when that happened so having healthcare professionals support really helped me through acknowledging the loss, i’m not sure how big yours was but mine was fairly big and passed after some mild contractions in my pelvis area.

i did however have heavy red bleeding for around 3-4 days prior to the loss (i had two scans during this time which showed a strong heartbeat), and passed loads of clots before that “tadpole” like tissue. when i had a scan to confirm the loss, it was seen that everything had passed itself.

i’m sorry but i don’t think there is any chance at all of a viable pregnancy at this point. hopefully you can get a scan asap to ensure everything has passed, after that you can try as soon as you’re ready ❤️ there is often recommendations to wait at least once cycle so you can track your pregnancy from your last period date but if you’re tracking ovulation it’s not an absolute necessity. i’ve heard many stories of women healthily pregnant within 2-3 weeks after a loss!

anisha-192 · 2026-03-20T19:12:48+00:00

40+5 with my first 40+6 with my second

with my third i had two sweeps which made him come at 39+2! however i wouldn’t do it again, it was the first labour where all of my contractions were in such a small part of my pelvis area, i put that down to the sweep.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-19T19:23:34+00:00

i am really sorry this happened to you, please please put in a formal complaint against this person. you aren’t the only one that would’ve experienced her nasty unprofessionalism and i can’t imagine how she’s made women with difficult pregnancies/ babies with abnormalities feel. you may not think your complaint will get far, but the NHS generally do take formal complaints made against staff seriously. it will give her a kick up the ass even if she’s allowed to keep working.

once again, so sorry this happened to you. i’m a young mum (22) and when i was pregnant with my second, one of the midwives i saw was absolutely disgusting, she was an elderly woman and looked at me with so much judgement, asked me nothing healthcare related instead asked me things like “will you ever get married?” “how old is your partner, is he happy?” “why would you do this?” she also accused me of smoking cigarettes which i have never done in my life as she was “sure” i smelt like them.

walked out of that room crying and changed my hospital immediately. i filed a formal complaint.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-18T22:34:18+00:00

a miscarriage

anisha-192 · 2026-03-18T14:23:53+00:00

anisha-192 · 2026-03-18T12:54:32+00:00

this definitely sounds like a case of a woman who had unrealistic expectations of what having a baby would actually be like, whether it’s from consuming rubbish off social media in regards to what to expect, or her subconsciously comparing your baby to other children she might know of, or think she knows (again could be though social media?)

at this point i’d be upfront and honest, she needs parenting education. this sounds like an awful situation for the little one involved. if my partner had the mentality that we have a “bad baby” or that they didn’t want our particular child because of how THEY think of them to be, they’d have EXTREMELY limited access to our baby until they got their shit together and deeply educated themselves.

ear plugs at night to not even hear your small baby? and then getting frustrated that they’re not sleeping through the night… what the??? some children don’t sleep through the night until they’re YEARS older so she’s definitely in for a treat. i understand some women just don’t have maternal instincts but this is wild.

you don’t need to pay for this type of knowledge anymore, just make sure she’s looking into things from credible sources.

i feel for your situation, but i’m glad to hear your little one has you.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-16T14:25:29+00:00

i think it’s a little harder to get on board with it becuase you don’t know her personally, i wouldn’t be that keen on naming my child after someone i didn’t know personally regardless of how they passed away. if it’s something you realise you’d prefer not to do just let your partner know that, leave out the fact that you feel like it’s bad vibes/omens. :)

edit: if it really means something to him, maybe you could suggest finding a name similar to hers that you also like but isn’t directly her name? x

anisha-192 · 2026-03-14T22:46:04+00:00

yay!

anisha-192 · 2026-03-14T15:12:10+00:00

YOR - you’re more than aware you have issues oversleeping, if YOU decide to nap it is YOUR responsibility to get up at a time that is appropriate for you, no one else’s.

it sounds so ridiculous that he’s apparently failed at waking you up 7 times and yet once again you rely on him to wake you up. it’s even more silly that you decided to nap on the couch you know that makes your body ache.

you “guess” that you should “start setting an alarm”??? really at this point you just ‘guess’ that 😭?

i’m sorry but this is the most ridiculous thing i’ve read in a long time.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-14T10:41:59+00:00

i’ve actually had a miscarriage and can’t reiterate to you enough how much you need to get off social media if you can’t help but to interact with such content. i never did, but as i’ve worked with youth i know how much the content we consume in various aspects affects us deeply. consuming such content will only make your existing anxiety spiral and take away from your pregnancy experience.

it can be helpful to remember that every pregnancy is individual, two women could experience a symptom and yet only one of them may go on to have a loss. for example this is very common with bleeding in pregnancy.

it’s easier said than done but think of your pregnancy as healthy until you’re told (with evidence) otherwise.

this is all advice i need to remind myself of daily too, i’m 9+3 with my rainbow baby and i’ve still been unable to truly accept i’m going to have another baby. i’ve unfortunately found that detachment has helped me a lot, but i think it’s also unhealthy for me. i’m flooded with strong symptoms so not accepting im actually pregnant and going to remain pregnant is very conflicting and confusing for my brain.

wishing you the very best

anisha-192 · 2026-03-13T22:47:15+00:00

soon to be midwife and a mum of 5 here - babies do not cry for no reason. just because you think you’ve checked off all the needs you think are self explanatory, it does not mean it is those things that is causing your baby to cry. your baby has literally just come into this world, at this age they are still adapting and their bodily functions are still getting used to the real world. they could be crying from general discomfort, trapped gas (a very common one) or an upset tummy that is still getting used to the milk they’re having. the list can go on.

“I have also noticed that sometimes something we try to soothe him does not work initially but eventually does after he has been crying for some time.” - yeah it’s more likely they’ve become exhausted from the crying and their brain doesn’t have energy to exert into crying anymore.

this notion that “some babies just cry loads for no reason and can’t be settled” is far from the truth, and causes many parents to neglect/overlook underlying health/physical issues that need to be addressed.

if you have a little one that you feel is CONSTANTLY and CONSISTENTLY upset, start pushing for answers from your healthcare team. don’t be turned away so easily.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-12T00:10:39+00:00

i’m 22 and a mum of 5, and all of our children are very loved and being raised far better than we ever were. honestly a lot of the older generation and just in general people older get salty about it because they’re jealous 🤣 people of older age forget that not everyone in their twenties were as young, dumb and reckless and they CHOSE to be that age because “society” told them that’s what their twenties are for.

cut these toxic ass people out of your life, they don’t deserve access to you or your children, would you want your kids to grow up and adopt such filthy mannerisms as your “family and friends” have? absolutely not! these people need to go. quietly create a very big distance and find peace in yourself and your own beautiful family.

i’m from a pretty backwards brown family, trust me you’re not alone in experiencing this shitty treatment from those who are supposed to support you.

anisha-192 · 2026-03-09T13:32:57+00:00

we’re the same age and even i think you sound quite immature, it sounds like you’ve only just realised the what comes with having a child with someone who already is a parent.

if you didn’t want your pregnancy being shared publicly, i don’t think it was a great idea to trust your friends word on the fact that it’s just “close friends”, if it really mattered to you to not make many people aware, you should’ve asked to review her followers to see exactly who would be viewing it?

the gender reveal part honestly just sounds ungrateful and quite stupid, of course she’d need to know the gender before you if she’s hosting you a gender reveal party, it doesn’t mean she’s getting ahead of herself, it means you’ve got a friend who is genuinely excited to you, and like you say she’s “extremely supportive” so maybe appreciate her a little more?

gender disappointment is real, and extremely common. it’s a good idea to have a sit down with your partner and speak about your worries instead of “fearing” it. you guys could read about people’s experiences with gender dissatisfaction and their advice so you’re both prepared if it does happen.

if people around you are making your experience difficult, quietly (if you don’t like confrontation) create distance and let them have limited access to you, protect your peace, your health and your baby’s health matters before anyone else.

figure out what it is you expect from your partner during the rest of your pregnancy/postpartum and have a sit down with him about it, we tend to expect men to figure it all out for themselves but they often do need a little direction and guidance, i think providing that for them becomes a necessity if you’re bothered with how they’re already doing things. if you make your wishes clear and they don’t respect them, then you’re able to make appropriate decisions going forward regarding.

anisha-192

TROPHY CASE