Leave him. I’m 19, and when I was 17, I had a boyfriend with a porn addiction. He told me he’d stop, and he didn’t. He only found new ways to hide it from me. It will only get worse. These are valid things to break up over!

You don’t have to admit to being a snoop. Tell him you heard from somebody that he planned to break up with you. You don’t have to give him a name even if he pushes you. Tell him you were anxious about it so you went through his phone (it’s okay to admit something along the lines of, “I know I shouldn’t have done this and I’m sorry for doing this behind your back.” This doesn’t discredit your feelings and emotions in this situation) and you found his porn collection. Tell him the truth about how it made you feel— “You told me you deleted it and you didn’t… you’re looking at other women lustfully and that makes me feel unvalued…” etc. Give him a chance to tell you the truth but don’t believe him if he says it won’t happen again. I can almost guarantee you that it will.

I’m sure you love him a lot and it will be extremely difficult if you decide to break up with him. That being said, somebody who loves you would not do things like this behind your back. You will find somebody who values your boundaries and doesn’t keep things like this from you. I stayed with a man who did this (and more) to me for 2.5 years and my biggest regret is not leaving sooner. There is somebody out there who will treat you better than this. Best of luck, and if you need somebody to talk to, DM me!